fic: There and never back again -- Summer of Sam Love exchange

[mikiya2200]

A/N: This was written for this year's summer_sam_love  - exchange for beamin_sunshine . Her prompt can be found at the end of the story. I hope this comes close to what you wanted for the prompt, I did the best I could, even though it might have turned out a little darker than I had planned originally. Have fun reading! :)

Comments

[mikiya2200]

I think it's more my personal aversion to this concept of Hell (or Heaven for that matter), I've never seen either of them as something you would be able to understand.

But, of course, you are very right about it, the show makes it very clear that you do have a sense of self while down there and I'd totally forgotten that Dean "bonded" with Alastair while he was away. And you're even more right about Sam, he would have focused all his attention on Adam and on saving him from as much pain as he could. And I don't even want to start thinking about what the other two would get a kick out of... *shudders*

I remember reading that one of the earliest concepts of Hell was not really a place where you would be physically tortured but "the absence of God" and I guess that somehow stuck with me, Hell (for me) is the absence of something you love which is why for me, personally, it will always be the brother who was left behind who suffered worse than the one actually going to Hell. I know, that doesn't really make sense, especially not when I look at how the show deals with the concept of Hell (and Heaven), but it's something I just can't not think about.

But yeah, you're right. I'm just curious if we will ever find out what Hell was really like for Sam, you know, like flashbacks with him interacting with Adam. I highly doubt that, though.

[hsifeng]

I think the Show seems to make a point about people ‘being present in themselves’ for these experiences because it requires ‘being present’ to make the choice to stop fighting; to give in and become Evil/truly give up your soul.

I have always had the impression that Hell in the Show is a three-stage deal; 1) you sign the contract at the crossroads, 2) you go downstairs and suffer physically and mentally without respite at the hands of demons who have had years to perfect their skills, 3) you join them - knowing that you will then have to pick up the knife and do exactly what they have done to you to others.

I think that any ‘real’ Heaven or Hell would be so far beyond the physical and emotional constructs that we have in life that we would be unable to comprehend or understand them. Total loss, total absence of love, total lack of contact with anything that makes you human. But the Show has to make these bigger concepts knowable enough to have a lasting impression on character development (*without ever forgetting that they are on a major network and can’t really get into the PTSD or torture too much).

And I am with you about Adam; I think the Show has missed (so far) a golden opportunity to show just how bad things were for Sam down there - and just how much he is repressing his experience. I think Adam would be a perfect vehicle for this.