Stonewater Legacy 5.5
Warning: 98 pics, bad language, pics that may seem dark, and MORE UNWANTED PREGNANCIES!
Last Update: Too many alien babies, too many regular babies, too many fights, and a massacred dollhouse.
And here the Stonewaters are, right where I left them, not doing a DAMN thing! And I'm sure it's completely inappropriate to play poker with your sons in your underwear. I could be wrong about this, though.
I'm still not over Freetime, not even in the slightest.
Jupiter: *PIMPS!!!*
I know this is dumb and most people would run away from her facial template like a hooker on front street during a police raid but, I am so obsessed with her, I really am. She looks like she'd cut me for a bologna sandwich. That only adds to the charm.
Breach: BEHOLD YOUR TERRIFYING BEAUTY!!
Townie whose name I don't remember: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeah. I just was walking around outside and I don't even understand how I got here. I think I should just, ummmm, go.
This has to be dollhouse-related pic number 75,000 in this legacy. Enjoy! XD
Just FYI: They're still madly in love.
Townie whose name I don't remember: *SMUSTLES LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW!*
Extra points for there being no music playing.
I send the four eldest kids out because I needed a break from taking care of so many people.
MISTAKE!!!!! *fangirls* *attacks* *rapes*
Subtle: ...and then this alien spawn just fell out of his butt and I was all like WOAH!
Mistake: You know, I just don't like you. Your face, hair, cheese breath, all horrifying and stupid.
*snuggles Mistake*
I want to be this woman, outfit and all. I think she is as insane as I want to be.
Preston: Don't touch me! Just because we're in public does NOT mean I won't pull your arm off!
Subtle: *shy flirts*
Blonde raver chick: I don't remember giving off lesbian vibes. *contemplates*
WORK YOUR MOJO, BREACH!
Breach: Yeah, I still live with my mom but, I'm going to college soon and stuff and I'll have my own money sooner than you think.
Alien bartender who I've assumed watches "The Little Mermaid" everyday: Poor, unfortunate soul.
Subtle: *shy dances like it's 1959*
O! M! G! Why WHOEVER could this be?! *headdesk*
Yeah, were you surprised?
Subtle: EAT THE FLOOR, BITCHCAKES!
Subtle: Well, aren't you one fine piece of undead manmeat!
Count Zion (*snicker*): I know, I know, young tasty meal of tasty blood lady.
Zion: GAH! THE SUN, IT BURNS MY EVERYTHING!!!!
Subtle: That shit was the funniest shit I've seen in years! Do it again!
Breach: LOL! You smell like a lesbian!
Blonde raver chick (BRC, for short): Why do people keep sayin' that? I have a husband!
Breach: *seethes* Don't you lie to me!
BRC made him cry like the bitch he is!
BRC: I may smell like a lesbian but at least I'm not a momma's boy!
Breach: HEY! I CAN'T HELP THAT MY MOM IS MORE AWESOME THAN ANY WOMAN IN THE UNIVERSE!!!
This is only true because he didn't get a chance to meet Shiva. XD
Scarab: LOL! She OWNED you!
Preston: Yeah, and how did the ownage taste?
Breach: *seethes*
Back home!
Breach and Scarab: *participates in a rousing game of Punch U, Punch Me*
Preston: *stares longingly*
Preston: EXCUSE ME! Me need to take a piss now!
Subtle: EXCUSE ME! It's been five minutes since I've beat my brother's ass into the ground so it's time for me to do it again!
Scarab: Why exactly don't you two understand privacy?
Jupiter: *POOS!!!!*
Could you three be inseperable for, like, five seconds?
This was just hot to me. I'm a whore for ballet extensions.
So, eveyone wanted the headmaster to come over RIGHT THE FUCK NOW OR I'L DIE OMG!!! So, invited he was. During his brief stay at the Stonewater residence, he was greeted to such divine spectacles as:
Teenagers fighting each other like they had not just fought each other mere moments before and...
...SEXUAL DELIGHTS!
Needless to say:
STFU!!!! They managed to get in eventually anyway but, SCREW YOU FOR NOT ENJOYING THE STONEWATER'S GIFTS TO YOU!
Venus: Oh, dude! I can TOTALLY see my birth planet from here!
Venus: HA! My real dad just killed Proctor 588 for treason! This shit is BANANAS!!
Jupiter: *SLEEPS!!!!*
Preston: LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!
Scarab: Once again, I'm not gay for you and I don't have to look at everything you do.
When did this even come up?
Jupiter: *STARVES AND PASSES OUT!!!!*
Venus: I SING THE BODY ELECTRIC, BITCHES!
Jupiter: *spits out toddler gibberish*
Mars: We may have come from the same spawn pod but this kid is hopeless.
And then Jupiter fell into childhood:
Tell me he isn't the cutest alien EVAR!
Jupiter: The glasses make it look like I'm not trying to take over the world. *giggle*
*stares* Uhhhhhhh, yes.
Breach: EAT GROUND, GARBAGE CAN!
Random jogger: Why these bitches gotta be so crazy?
No one even begins to know, sweetie.
Scarab: Why must I fail so hard at everything? *emos*
Jupiter: Captain of the SS "DESTROY ALL HUMANS!" reporting for duty! *navigates to unknown bathroom shores*
Still gay for each other! Just checking.
Subtle: EAT MY FIST-RELATED JUSTICE!
Venus: Did you forget I know ALIEN OVERLORDS, you BUTTFACE!
Count Zion: *vomits at the sight of a FANTASTICALLY GORGEOUS MAN!*
Your opinion is a stain upon my person, please remove it.
Subtle: Oh man. Flirt with him? What is my life? *emos*
Subtle: *shy flirts*
Count Zion: Yes, my precious. I will follow your sweet tasty human meats you till the end of time.
Count Zion: But you would look far better in a pink dress. I demand a pink dress, they beautify the soul and color the world a glorious... pink.
What now?
Meanwhile...
CHRISTIAN! WHAT THE EFFIN' HELL??!!!! GET YOUR FROZEN ASS UP!!
*SIGH!!!*
Thank you for having some sense, Subtle.
Subtle: Cents? I don't have any money!
*headdesk*
True love means not having to actually kiss the one you love on the lips...
...or even on the face at all. The brain will do.
Hey look! See the back of that head? It's Shimmy! HE'S STILL ALIVE, FOLKS!
I installed new eyes and (why the heck did I type 'and'?) in hopes of them being both realistic and yet as expressive as Lyran's eyes.
This made Subtle have an orgasm of some sort.
*already loves the new eyes*
Subtle: HAVE SOME OF THE JUSTICE YOUR SISTER LEFT BEHIND!!
Mars: Since when is this right??!!!
Christian and Sabra: *still in love*
Alright, there were too many people and so birthdays sort of slipped my mind. So, without further ado, BIRTHDAY ANTICS!!!
Remember Science? Good! Here she is as a teenager and DAMN IS SHE HOT!!!! Take care of the competition, Subtle!
Subtle: ON IT!
Subtle: DIE, BITCH! DIE!!!!
Could you please stop mouthbreathing over Mars, please?
HOLY MOTHER OF SAN FRANCISCO!!! *marries*
This WAS going to be a standard shot of Venus' age transition. Of course, sometimes things just aren't that easy.
Jesus effin' Christ, people!
Are you surprised, Breach? Are ya?
Santiago: You could not be more awesome.
HERE'S the standard shot of Venus as a teen. Gorgeous, yes?...
...why is her hair a different color?
And last but not least, SHIMMY! Who I'm sure you all remember, right? RIGHT?!!!!
You know what, fuck you too, man!!
Scarab: HELLO! There's a bunch of CRAZY BITCHES in my way!!!
I just had to see how Science cleaned up. God damn her!
There's only one word for this: HAWT!!! *vomits*
Meanwhile....
Shimmy: *is abducted by aliens*
Are you kidding me?! He already hates me enough, he did NOT need this!
And then, as if that wasn't bad enough...
Count Zion: Look into my glowy fingers, oh young one.
Subtle: Oooooo, what's this now, precious?
GAH! This has never, EVER happened to me before! MAKE IT STOP!
Santiago: This ho's about to get bit! *watches gleefully*
Count Zion: *bestows the gift of eternal life*
Subtle: LOL! That tickles!
Subtle: BLAH BLAH! I is vampire! Hand over your blood!
Subtle: *snort* This is so fuckin' sweet!
Aliens: *spits Shimmy back onto Earth*
Baby jingle: *jingles*
Shimmy: Did I.... Did I just hear what I think I did? *pouts*
*CRY* ARE YOU EFFIN' KIDDIN' ME??!!!!!!
Sabra: Hey, son! Could you be more of a loser?!
Shimmy: *loses every single bit of his mind*
I'M SORRY WHAT??!!!! BUT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM!!! IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO HAVE ALIENS TURN INTO VAMPIRES???!!!
Shimmy: *tries to steal back attention with his insanity*
STFU! More important things are happening!
Count Zion: Have eternal life you hot son of a bitch!
Mars: SWEET!
I want to say this is an abomination, I really do. Truth of the matter?:
Vampirism only made him hotter! *kidnaps!*
Subtle: I'm comin' for ya, bitches!
Enjoying the pregnancy, Shimmy?
Shimmy: *vomits in mouth*
Hey! What's going on back there?
Oh, I see! Pure, unending, hotter than a lamb in hell, HOTNESS, is what's goin' on! Carry on, sweetie.
Though it made my heart die in the face and I'm not sure how vampire teens work (do they stay teens forever if you let them?), I had to send Subtle to college. She only had one day left. O.o
Goodbye, Subtle! I will miss you so much, babycakes!
Mars: And so will I, fellow creature of the daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark.
How's it goin', Shimmy?
Shimmy: You're the only one who understands my pain, aren't you Mrs. Cupface!
Is it bad that the only thing I can think about what he just said is, "'Mrs'? Does that mean there's a 'Mr.'?"
And with that, we end this update with more kids getting the EFF out of this house (if only because I vowed to make these three go to college whenever Subtitle did)!:
Goodbye, Scarab!
Goodbye, Preston!
Breach: I don't wanna go!!!! Didn't you see my sister become a vampire?! WHY WOULD YOU SEND ME TO SCHOOL WITH HER!!!
Uhhhhhh.... just shut and go. *pets his head*
Breach: I hope you die, bitchface!
And with that, GOODNIGHT!!!
----------------------
Miss an update?:
1.0 | 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3
2.0, P. 1 | 2.0, P.2 | 2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 2.4 | 2.5 | 2.6 | 2.7
3.0 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.5
4.1 | 4.2
5.1 | 5.2 | 5.3 | 5.4