ok, so i promised
ok, haha.. i'm so freakin happy.. but yea, i promised that if i got in i'd post the essay that i sent.. so here's my college application poem/essay:
Ode to an Essay
They told me to write a mere college essay:
A simple short work to reveal my soul.
Sure, it had to be under five hundred words
But, barring exceptions, that was my goal.
“Try to avoid any sports achievements,
Or life lessons learned on trips to Spain.
I’d steer clear of grandiloquent wording,
But make sure you don’t sound all too plain.
“Don’t talk about your daily activities,
Your résumé already tells them that.
Don’t exaggerate and don’t bend the truth,
But be sure you don’t just stick to fact.
“Don’t write about family, don’t write about friends
And especially don’t write about your ‘ex’.
The reader may know her, love her, and snub you,
Or so your college counselor suspects.
“Don’t mention your views - religious or political.
The reader may differ on the former or latter.
Don’t pick a favorite football, baseball or hockey team,
Or even a favorite TV show for that matter.
“Don’t reminisce about your first bike ride,
Or tell the story of your first school dance.
They are all clichés and they’re overused,
Don’t even try ‘cause you won’t stand a chance.
“Don’t mention how much you’ve suffered and grown
Since that time when your best friend left you.
The reader may pity you, the reader may cry,
But the reader will still reject you.
“On that note, don’t get too emotional.
Don’t write poetically, it’ll seem like fiction.
But on the other hand, may the dear Lord help you
If you come off dry or lack conviction.
“Maybe you should try to make them laugh.
Write something funny and break the molds.
Then again, maybe not, ‘cause if you fail
You’ll spend the next four years at McDonald’s.
“In addition to this, don’t tell them you love them.
Don’t try to kiss up in any way, shape or form.
You wouldn’t apply early if you felt contrary
And you’ll wind up on the streets instead of a dorm.
“And most of all, don’t make them feel guilty.
Don’t say, ‘As I write this, I stand on a ledge!’
We all know to where that sad road doth leadeth,
And it certainly doth leadeth not unto college.”
So in vain I asked, “On what should I write?”
And the answer: “Only you can decide.”
So I thought for a while, then asked for a hint,
To which my benefactor replied:
“Be true to yourself; let your soul shine through.
Let it reveal your distinct personality.
Show your humor, your depth, your passionate heart,
And don’t ever hold back for formality.
“Let your words paint a picture that is solely of you.
Relive your life in the form of an essay.
But whatever you do, make sure it’s unique;
They’ve read thousands of these up to this day.”
So I reflected and thought and gave it my best
And each time they said, “Good, now re-write it.”
So after many a trial, a draft, and attempt
I suppose that I’m still undecided!
So forget all the rules and that evil “word count”,
(I’ve got five hundred twenty-nine anyway.)
The tale of this process I simply must tell.
Having told it - I now have an essay!
Ode to an Essay
They told me to write a mere college essay:
A simple short work to reveal my soul.
Sure, it had to be under five hundred words
But, barring exceptions, that was my goal.
“Try to avoid any sports achievements,
Or life lessons learned on trips to Spain.
I’d steer clear of grandiloquent wording,
But make sure you don’t sound all too plain.
“Don’t talk about your daily activities,
Your résumé already tells them that.
Don’t exaggerate and don’t bend the truth,
But be sure you don’t just stick to fact.
“Don’t write about family, don’t write about friends
And especially don’t write about your ‘ex’.
The reader may know her, love her, and snub you,
Or so your college counselor suspects.
“Don’t mention your views - religious or political.
The reader may differ on the former or latter.
Don’t pick a favorite football, baseball or hockey team,
Or even a favorite TV show for that matter.
“Don’t reminisce about your first bike ride,
Or tell the story of your first school dance.
They are all clichés and they’re overused,
Don’t even try ‘cause you won’t stand a chance.
“Don’t mention how much you’ve suffered and grown
Since that time when your best friend left you.
The reader may pity you, the reader may cry,
But the reader will still reject you.
“On that note, don’t get too emotional.
Don’t write poetically, it’ll seem like fiction.
But on the other hand, may the dear Lord help you
If you come off dry or lack conviction.
“Maybe you should try to make them laugh.
Write something funny and break the molds.
Then again, maybe not, ‘cause if you fail
You’ll spend the next four years at McDonald’s.
“In addition to this, don’t tell them you love them.
Don’t try to kiss up in any way, shape or form.
You wouldn’t apply early if you felt contrary
And you’ll wind up on the streets instead of a dorm.
“And most of all, don’t make them feel guilty.
Don’t say, ‘As I write this, I stand on a ledge!’
We all know to where that sad road doth leadeth,
And it certainly doth leadeth not unto college.”
So in vain I asked, “On what should I write?”
And the answer: “Only you can decide.”
So I thought for a while, then asked for a hint,
To which my benefactor replied:
“Be true to yourself; let your soul shine through.
Let it reveal your distinct personality.
Show your humor, your depth, your passionate heart,
And don’t ever hold back for formality.
“Let your words paint a picture that is solely of you.
Relive your life in the form of an essay.
But whatever you do, make sure it’s unique;
They’ve read thousands of these up to this day.”
So I reflected and thought and gave it my best
And each time they said, “Good, now re-write it.”
So after many a trial, a draft, and attempt
I suppose that I’m still undecided!
So forget all the rules and that evil “word count”,
(I’ve got five hundred twenty-nine anyway.)
The tale of this process I simply must tell.
Having told it - I now have an essay!