Don't leave me now, Don't say it's the end of the road. Jared/Jensen, NC-17
Tittle:Don't leave me now, don't say it's the end of the road.
Author:mikeyrhcp
Pairing/Characters: Jared/Jensen, Chris Kane.
Rating:NC-17
Word count:
Warnings:Angst, and just a little of shmoop.
Disclaimer: Not mine. I wish they were, but they're not.
Summary:Not everything is sunshine and roses.
Beta: The one and only lycaness She was a really big help with this one! Thank you so much sweetie. Every further mistakes are mine.
Notes:The title is from " Don't Leave Me Now " by Pink Floyd.
The phone rings three times before Chris picks up.
"Jared, would you please stop calling?" Chris's voice says from the other end of the line.
"No, I won't. Now put him on the phone." Jared is past the nice guy now on the fifth time of calling.
"What don't you get? He doesn't want to talk to you! Now stop calling here! "Chris answers. A little more pissed off this time. It doesn't intimidate Jared. He knows Chris Kane. He knows exactly how Chris acts when someone hurts Jensen. But Jared is not about to give up.
"Chris," he tries again. A little softer. "Listen to me, he heard it all wrong. Just put him on the phone and I'll explain everything." There is silence on the other end. "Please Chris," he adds.
"Fine. Just… Wait a second." Chris sighs and then Jared hears him calling Jensen name and telling him he has a phone call, then a door slamming and Jensen asks who is it. Chris says "Steve" and then Jensen answers.
"Hey Steve." And Jared freezes for a second. Suddenly he doesn't know what to say, how to explain this whole big misunderstanding. "Steve?" Jensen asks and it forces Jared to snap back into reality.
"Jen," he says into the phone as softly as he can. He waits for a comment and when he hears nothing he repeats. "Jen?"
"Was I not clear when I said that I don't want you calling me?" Jensen finally says after a few seconds. Jared wants to stab himself. Bang his head against the wall and then jump off a bridge for making Jensen's voice sound so hurt and shaky.
"I know, Jen, but you just ran off. You didn't even give me a second to explain what happened-" he doesn't get to finish.
"I don't need your explanations, Jared! Don't call here any more. Just leave me the fuck alone!" Jensen says and then hangs up.
"Not gonna happen," Jared says determinately to the empty apartment. He's not gonna give up.
Twenty minutes after Jensen hangs up on him, Jared is at the front of Chris and Steve's apartment.
At first he doesn't know what to do. Yes, he has it all planed out in his head. He knows exactly what he would like to happen. But he knows it's not that easy. He knows Jensen.
But he also knows that he can't stand another second without him. He knows that he'll do anything to get Jensen to come back with him.
So he knocks on the door and waits for an answer.
Chris opens the door to him after a few seconds.
"Oh you have got to be kidding me. Can't you take no for an answer?" Chris says and Jared can see he's getting angrier.
"No. And I need to see him, Chris. Now." Jared's tries to keep his voice as strong as he can.
"Jared, man, look, you know I like you. I really do, but once you're hurting my boy you don't get much of a chance with me. I'm not gonna let you in so you may as well go back to your apartment and just leave him alone," Chris says and he's about to close the door when Jared pushes it open.
"I don’t really care what you think, Chris. I need to see him," Jared says as he forces his way in. Chris tries to stop him. Tries to pull him back but Jared is stronger and he just pushes Chris back.
"Jensen!" he yells. He hears a door open and then he can see Jensen coming down the stairs.
"Jared? What the fuck are you doing here? Get out!" Jensen orders as he spots Jared. His look is hurt, angry and something more Jared can't name.
"I am not going anywhere until you listen to me," Jared says letting Jensen know he's not gonna leave, that these is no way he's giving up, and takes a step closer to Jensen, which causes Jensen to take a step back. And okay, that's it.
He thinks about his next step about a second before he's across the room pinning Jensen to the wall.
"Jared!" he hears Chris's angry voice behind him
"I'm not gonna hurt him Chris! Now get the fuck out of here and let me talk to my boyfriend." Jared doesn't even turns to look at Chris. He holds Jensen's look and doesn't let go.
"Jen?" Chris asks. Jared assumes he asks if he can really leave or if he's gonna need to kick Jared out.
Jensen looks at him, open and closes his mouth, hesitates and finally nods.
"Yeah, yeah okay, you can leave, Chris."
"Are you sure-?" Chris’ voice is concerned now. And Jared knows that he's just worried about Jensen but Jared’s had enough.
"He said you can leave!" And this time he does turn to look at Chris.
Chris seems like he wants to object but he just sends Jared this look and walks away. Jared still doesn't let go of Jensen. He holds him close, looks him in the eyes and waits a few seconds before he talks.
"You can't keep doing this Jensen," he says and finally takes a step back and let go of Jensen. But still keeps eye contact.
"Doing what? I'm not doing anything," Jensen says in confusion. Jared shakes his head.
"You can't just keep running away to Chris every time things get a little bit harder! You need to deal with things!" he almost screams. He can feel the tears threatening to just come out but he tries to hold them in as hard as he can.
Jensen doesn't answer at first. He lowers his gaze to the floor and just stares at the carpet.
"I just… I can't do this. I can't. I tried but it's harder than I thought it would be. I don’t want to do it anymore." Jensen sounds apologetic, like he really wishes he could have done better but he had lost any hope.
It's a lie. It's got to be a lie.
"No. You don't get to do it. You don't get to turn away from me. From us. You just don't… You can’t," he says and tries not to beg, not to let his voice shake, tries to stay as calm as he can. Jensen is still looking at the floor, not saying anything.
"Jensen! Look at me, god damn it!" Jared screams and it must startle Jensen because now he does looks at Jared with eyes full with tears.
"I heard you, Jared. I heard you talking on the phone with Mike, telling him that it would be easier with Sandy," Jensen says and his tone is so weak, so soft, so hurt.
"Jen," Jared starts but Jensen just waves a hand in front of him.
"No, it's okay, I get it," he says, defeated.
"No. You don't," Jared replies and takes a step closer to Jensen again. He puts his hand on Jensen's neck and just lays it there. Stroking and caressing. "Yeah, Jen, it would be easier with Sandy, but I don't care how easy it would be… I don't care because she's not you. Because see, what you don't get is that I don't care how hard it could get, I don't care because I love you. And I know things are hard, and believe me they could get harder, but as long as we are together I don't give a damn." And Jared knows it's so cliché, but it's exactly how he feels.
-----
Jensen is a little shocked. He just stares at Jared for a moment before he turns them both around and pushes Jared against the wall.
"I love you," Jensen whispers and now their faces are so close Jensen can feel every breath and every brush of air between them. "Don't you dare leave me. Don't you ever go back to her."
Jared nods. "Never."
And that’s enough for Jensen. He can't hold back anymore. He takes a deep breath and crashes their mouths together in a strong kiss.
First, it's anger. Anger and frustration. Then it's love. Then it's love, and hope, and need.
"I'm gonna fuck you now," Jensen growls. He needs it. He needs to be in Jared and know what it feels like. He needs it more then he needs air right now.
"Yeah. Want you inside me." Jared nods and then goes back to kissing Jensen. They almost run to the extra bed room in the apartment. The one that is mostly reserved for Jensen.
Once they're inside Jensen doesn't waste a second with foreplay. No slow open mouth kisses on the neck, or smiling or licks. No. Now it's biting and nibbling and strong hard kisses.
"Fuck, come on," Jared moans once Jensen got both of them naked. Jensen pushes Jared on the bed and reaches to the drawer besides the bed to pull out the lube.
It's fast. No teasing. Jensen thrusts in two fingers and stretches Jared open.
"No one but me. Never. No one, Jared. No one will ever fuck you like I do. No one will ever make you feel as good as I do," he says right in Jared’s ear, his voice low and hard, a tone he’s never once used with Jared before. His words spoken in time with his thrusts, harder and harder, scissoring his fingers inside Jared and listening to the man underneath him whimpering and groaning.
"Oh fuck yeah, no one. Don't want anyone else. Just- yes. Yes. Right there Jen, I need-" Jared mumbles and his hands are fisting the sheets so hard his knuckles are turning white.
"Shhh, I know what you need. And I'm gonna give it to you. God, Jared, I'm gonna fuck you so hard. Gonna make it so fucking good for you," Jensen says and now he's adding another finger in.
He pushes in and out. Hard and fast and all the time whispers all kind of filth in Jared's ear.
"Want me to fuck you now? Tell me Jared. Tell me how much you need me," Jensen says and then pushes his fingers as further as he can and finally finds that spot inside Jared. He rubs against it.
"Come on, Jared. Tell. Me." He needs to hear it more then everything. He needs to hear it all the time. Every time.
"Fuck, oh God, yeah. N-need you. Need to feel you inside. Need you more then fucking anything. God, don't stop. Don't you ever stop," Jared moans and pushes back to Jensen's fingers.
"Good," Jensen replies and then he lubes his dick, stroking it a couple of times and doesn't even let Jared relax before he pushes Jared legs up on his shoulders, then pulls his fingers out and pushes his dick in.
"Ohmygodyes." Jared lets go of a long and loud moan. "Fuck me. Fuck me harder," Jared says and Jensen knows that he's close.
"You gonna come for me Jared? God, I wanna see you come so bad." Jared doesn't even replies. He just pulls Jensen closer and kisses him.
Jensen reaches down, strokes Jared's cock fast. He needs to make Jared come more then anything.
"Come on, Jay, come for me," he says as he pulls away from the kiss. "Come for me," he whispers, softer now.
"Yeah." Jared nods and then Jensen feels Jared's body tense up, Jared clenching up and finally Jared's release between them. Jensen soon follows and comes seconds after.
"Don't you ever leave me. God, Jared, please," he pleads later when they are back in Jared's apartment. When it’s almost time to get up again.
"I won't. Promise I won't."
And it's not like Jensen still isn't terrified. It’s not like suddenly everything is right. It's just that he knows that right now, Jared is not going to leave him.
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Feedback would be really appreciated. :D
Author:mikeyrhcp
Pairing/Characters: Jared/Jensen, Chris Kane.
Rating:NC-17
Word count:
Warnings:Angst, and just a little of shmoop.
Disclaimer: Not mine. I wish they were, but they're not.
Summary:Not everything is sunshine and roses.
Beta: The one and only lycaness She was a really big help with this one! Thank you so much sweetie. Every further mistakes are mine.
Notes:The title is from " Don't Leave Me Now " by Pink Floyd.
The phone rings three times before Chris picks up.
"Jared, would you please stop calling?" Chris's voice says from the other end of the line.
"No, I won't. Now put him on the phone." Jared is past the nice guy now on the fifth time of calling.
"What don't you get? He doesn't want to talk to you! Now stop calling here! "Chris answers. A little more pissed off this time. It doesn't intimidate Jared. He knows Chris Kane. He knows exactly how Chris acts when someone hurts Jensen. But Jared is not about to give up.
"Chris," he tries again. A little softer. "Listen to me, he heard it all wrong. Just put him on the phone and I'll explain everything." There is silence on the other end. "Please Chris," he adds.
"Fine. Just… Wait a second." Chris sighs and then Jared hears him calling Jensen name and telling him he has a phone call, then a door slamming and Jensen asks who is it. Chris says "Steve" and then Jensen answers.
"Hey Steve." And Jared freezes for a second. Suddenly he doesn't know what to say, how to explain this whole big misunderstanding. "Steve?" Jensen asks and it forces Jared to snap back into reality.
"Jen," he says into the phone as softly as he can. He waits for a comment and when he hears nothing he repeats. "Jen?"
"Was I not clear when I said that I don't want you calling me?" Jensen finally says after a few seconds. Jared wants to stab himself. Bang his head against the wall and then jump off a bridge for making Jensen's voice sound so hurt and shaky.
"I know, Jen, but you just ran off. You didn't even give me a second to explain what happened-" he doesn't get to finish.
"I don't need your explanations, Jared! Don't call here any more. Just leave me the fuck alone!" Jensen says and then hangs up.
"Not gonna happen," Jared says determinately to the empty apartment. He's not gonna give up.
Twenty minutes after Jensen hangs up on him, Jared is at the front of Chris and Steve's apartment.
At first he doesn't know what to do. Yes, he has it all planed out in his head. He knows exactly what he would like to happen. But he knows it's not that easy. He knows Jensen.
But he also knows that he can't stand another second without him. He knows that he'll do anything to get Jensen to come back with him.
So he knocks on the door and waits for an answer.
Chris opens the door to him after a few seconds.
"Oh you have got to be kidding me. Can't you take no for an answer?" Chris says and Jared can see he's getting angrier.
"No. And I need to see him, Chris. Now." Jared's tries to keep his voice as strong as he can.
"Jared, man, look, you know I like you. I really do, but once you're hurting my boy you don't get much of a chance with me. I'm not gonna let you in so you may as well go back to your apartment and just leave him alone," Chris says and he's about to close the door when Jared pushes it open.
"I don’t really care what you think, Chris. I need to see him," Jared says as he forces his way in. Chris tries to stop him. Tries to pull him back but Jared is stronger and he just pushes Chris back.
"Jensen!" he yells. He hears a door open and then he can see Jensen coming down the stairs.
"Jared? What the fuck are you doing here? Get out!" Jensen orders as he spots Jared. His look is hurt, angry and something more Jared can't name.
"I am not going anywhere until you listen to me," Jared says letting Jensen know he's not gonna leave, that these is no way he's giving up, and takes a step closer to Jensen, which causes Jensen to take a step back. And okay, that's it.
He thinks about his next step about a second before he's across the room pinning Jensen to the wall.
"Jared!" he hears Chris's angry voice behind him
"I'm not gonna hurt him Chris! Now get the fuck out of here and let me talk to my boyfriend." Jared doesn't even turns to look at Chris. He holds Jensen's look and doesn't let go.
"Jen?" Chris asks. Jared assumes he asks if he can really leave or if he's gonna need to kick Jared out.
Jensen looks at him, open and closes his mouth, hesitates and finally nods.
"Yeah, yeah okay, you can leave, Chris."
"Are you sure-?" Chris’ voice is concerned now. And Jared knows that he's just worried about Jensen but Jared’s had enough.
"He said you can leave!" And this time he does turn to look at Chris.
Chris seems like he wants to object but he just sends Jared this look and walks away. Jared still doesn't let go of Jensen. He holds him close, looks him in the eyes and waits a few seconds before he talks.
"You can't keep doing this Jensen," he says and finally takes a step back and let go of Jensen. But still keeps eye contact.
"Doing what? I'm not doing anything," Jensen says in confusion. Jared shakes his head.
"You can't just keep running away to Chris every time things get a little bit harder! You need to deal with things!" he almost screams. He can feel the tears threatening to just come out but he tries to hold them in as hard as he can.
Jensen doesn't answer at first. He lowers his gaze to the floor and just stares at the carpet.
"I just… I can't do this. I can't. I tried but it's harder than I thought it would be. I don’t want to do it anymore." Jensen sounds apologetic, like he really wishes he could have done better but he had lost any hope.
It's a lie. It's got to be a lie.
"No. You don't get to do it. You don't get to turn away from me. From us. You just don't… You can’t," he says and tries not to beg, not to let his voice shake, tries to stay as calm as he can. Jensen is still looking at the floor, not saying anything.
"Jensen! Look at me, god damn it!" Jared screams and it must startle Jensen because now he does looks at Jared with eyes full with tears.
"I heard you, Jared. I heard you talking on the phone with Mike, telling him that it would be easier with Sandy," Jensen says and his tone is so weak, so soft, so hurt.
"Jen," Jared starts but Jensen just waves a hand in front of him.
"No, it's okay, I get it," he says, defeated.
"No. You don't," Jared replies and takes a step closer to Jensen again. He puts his hand on Jensen's neck and just lays it there. Stroking and caressing. "Yeah, Jen, it would be easier with Sandy, but I don't care how easy it would be… I don't care because she's not you. Because see, what you don't get is that I don't care how hard it could get, I don't care because I love you. And I know things are hard, and believe me they could get harder, but as long as we are together I don't give a damn." And Jared knows it's so cliché, but it's exactly how he feels.
-----
Jensen is a little shocked. He just stares at Jared for a moment before he turns them both around and pushes Jared against the wall.
"I love you," Jensen whispers and now their faces are so close Jensen can feel every breath and every brush of air between them. "Don't you dare leave me. Don't you ever go back to her."
Jared nods. "Never."
And that’s enough for Jensen. He can't hold back anymore. He takes a deep breath and crashes their mouths together in a strong kiss.
First, it's anger. Anger and frustration. Then it's love. Then it's love, and hope, and need.
"I'm gonna fuck you now," Jensen growls. He needs it. He needs to be in Jared and know what it feels like. He needs it more then he needs air right now.
"Yeah. Want you inside me." Jared nods and then goes back to kissing Jensen. They almost run to the extra bed room in the apartment. The one that is mostly reserved for Jensen.
Once they're inside Jensen doesn't waste a second with foreplay. No slow open mouth kisses on the neck, or smiling or licks. No. Now it's biting and nibbling and strong hard kisses.
"Fuck, come on," Jared moans once Jensen got both of them naked. Jensen pushes Jared on the bed and reaches to the drawer besides the bed to pull out the lube.
It's fast. No teasing. Jensen thrusts in two fingers and stretches Jared open.
"No one but me. Never. No one, Jared. No one will ever fuck you like I do. No one will ever make you feel as good as I do," he says right in Jared’s ear, his voice low and hard, a tone he’s never once used with Jared before. His words spoken in time with his thrusts, harder and harder, scissoring his fingers inside Jared and listening to the man underneath him whimpering and groaning.
"Oh fuck yeah, no one. Don't want anyone else. Just- yes. Yes. Right there Jen, I need-" Jared mumbles and his hands are fisting the sheets so hard his knuckles are turning white.
"Shhh, I know what you need. And I'm gonna give it to you. God, Jared, I'm gonna fuck you so hard. Gonna make it so fucking good for you," Jensen says and now he's adding another finger in.
He pushes in and out. Hard and fast and all the time whispers all kind of filth in Jared's ear.
"Want me to fuck you now? Tell me Jared. Tell me how much you need me," Jensen says and then pushes his fingers as further as he can and finally finds that spot inside Jared. He rubs against it.
"Come on, Jared. Tell. Me." He needs to hear it more then everything. He needs to hear it all the time. Every time.
"Fuck, oh God, yeah. N-need you. Need to feel you inside. Need you more then fucking anything. God, don't stop. Don't you ever stop," Jared moans and pushes back to Jensen's fingers.
"Good," Jensen replies and then he lubes his dick, stroking it a couple of times and doesn't even let Jared relax before he pushes Jared legs up on his shoulders, then pulls his fingers out and pushes his dick in.
"Ohmygodyes." Jared lets go of a long and loud moan. "Fuck me. Fuck me harder," Jared says and Jensen knows that he's close.
"You gonna come for me Jared? God, I wanna see you come so bad." Jared doesn't even replies. He just pulls Jensen closer and kisses him.
Jensen reaches down, strokes Jared's cock fast. He needs to make Jared come more then anything.
"Come on, Jay, come for me," he says as he pulls away from the kiss. "Come for me," he whispers, softer now.
"Yeah." Jared nods and then Jensen feels Jared's body tense up, Jared clenching up and finally Jared's release between them. Jensen soon follows and comes seconds after.
"Don't you ever leave me. God, Jared, please," he pleads later when they are back in Jared's apartment. When it’s almost time to get up again.
"I won't. Promise I won't."
And it's not like Jensen still isn't terrified. It’s not like suddenly everything is right. It's just that he knows that right now, Jared is not going to leave him.
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Feedback would be really appreciated. :D