(no subject)
Title- You Didn't Care
Chapter- 1/2
Author-Me…MikeyLovesRay
Rating- Soft R
Pairing- Bert/Gerard....Frank/Gerard
POV- Gerards
Summary- "Then I slowly drifted away."
Authors Notes- I don't own any of My Chemical Romance or Bert. Nor do I own the lyrics. They are from My Heroin by Sliverstein. So yea...This isn't my usual pairing, but I decided to write it anyway. So read on reading lovers. Read on.
Part I
The drugs begin to peak
A smile of joy arrives in me
But sedation changes to panic and nausea
And breath starts to shorten
And heartbeats pound softer
Back during Warp Tour when you and I did drugs together there was no way anyone could help me. I thought I was invisible and I owned everything. I thought that we actually were in-love…That you actually cared about me.
No matter what Frankie told me, I never believed him. I called him a hypocrite and a low friend. But that wasn’t true about him. It was really what I was.
You won't try to save me
You just want to hurt me
And leave me desperate
The time I actually need you most you just walked away. I had done too much coke and I fell to the ground shaking.
“You’ll be fine. Just clam down and sleep. Sleep for a long time…” That was all you said as you walked out of the bus, leaving me behind dying. But thank god it was my bus you left me on because if it weren’t I would of died.
I screamed for help, but no one seemed to show up. I started to give up, tears running down my face. But then Frank walked onto the bus. He called out to me, but I couldn’t answer. He searched the front of the bus then looked toward the back seeing my nearly dead body shaking on the floor. He ran toward me screaming. I could tell he was afraid I could tell he cared. I tried to speak, but he stopped me. He held me close and called the ambulance. Then I slowly drifted away.
You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine
A few days later I was better. We could continue our tour. But all I could think about is how you left me behind. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, nor could I bring myself to hate you. It just seemed impossible.
I told myself it was because of the drugs, that you didn’t really know what was going on. But deep inside I knew it wasn’t true. You really wanted me dead.
You won't leave me alone
Chisel my heart out of stone
I give in everytime
You caught up with the band sooner then we all thought. The first thing you had to do was find me. And once you did you put on an act that you actually cared about me.
“I’m so sorry I left you! I don’t know why I did it. I was so drugged up I didn’t know what to do, so I just left. I’m sorry.” You told me that lie and reached out to hug me. I must have still had drugs in me then because I actually believed you and let you back in again.
You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine
Once the tour was over you left for a while and everything was great. Frank was always by my side and you were no where to be found. But your face would some how pop into my head at random times. And you would be in my dreams. Or more like nightmares.
I would wake up screaming some nights and the other band members didn’t know what to do, besides Frank. He would get up from his bunk and comfort me in my own. He would tell me everything was okay and you would never hurt me again. But deep down I knew it would be that easy. I mind was clouded by to many lies that I believed. Lies that hurt me every night, every day, every hour and you never cared.
I bet you laugh
At the thought of me thinking for myself
I bet you believe
That I'm better off with you then someone else
When we meet up again I told you I never wanted to see you again. That you should leave before something bad happens again, but you wouldn’t have it. You shoved me against a wall and told me that no one would ever care about me. But I knew that wasn’t true and I told you that too. That pissed you off more though. You punched me and knocked me to the ground.
“No one will ever care about you. You’re a worthless piece of shit Gerard Way.”
Then you left, left for good. Or so I thought.
Your face arrives again
A hope I had becomes surreal
But under your covers
More torture then pleasure
And just past your lips
There's more anger then laughter
Not now or forever will I ever change you
I know that to go on I'll break you, my habit
Years past and you never came back to see me. I knew it was for the best, but my nightmares kept me up. But they did help me. They helped me see how much Frank actually cared for me. That he would be there for me when ever I needed him.
But while I was out one night for a walk you spotted me, all alone with no one to help me. You grabbed me and threw me in your car, taking me to some sleazy hotel against my will. I tried to call Frankie, but when I actually got threw we arrived and you took the phone from my hands and told him that he’d never see me again. You grabbed me throwing me into the room. I tried to run away, but you threw me onto the bed tearing off my shirt.
“Stop!” I screamed out, but you continued. Nothing was going to stop you from what you were about to do.
“Bert please STOP!” Tears began falling rapidly. I didn’t know why you were doing it. What did I do to deserve it?
You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine
I kept struggling and finally I had a clear hit. I punched you as hard I could then ran out of the room. Ran away as fast as I could not even caring where I ended up, but somehow I ended up at the hotel. Where Frank was. I ran in screaming his name, but he wasn’t there. He must have gone out trying to look for me, but where would he of gone? I had to find him before you found him. So I gathered all my strength and ran out again, calling his name as I ran. Finally I saw him standing at a street corner waiting to cross. I called out his name and he turned around quickly. He then ran up to me hugging me tightly. His shirt felt soft against my bare chest and I let tears fall from my eyes again.
Frank didn’t let me go for a while. He held me close and I continued to cry. I knew then that he was the person that I should be with. Not only because he was hott, but because he was kind and always around to help me. Unlike you, Bert.
I will save myself!
I will save myself and Frankie from you. You won’t ever hurt us again. Not now, not ever.