(no subject)
I want to say that I absolutely love this website and I wish I could take it everywhere with me--every party, everything. I feel so happy to have it, and I love it in my heart for so many reasons whether or not I express it all the time. Firstly, it's all mine. 100% mine. No one can tell me how to run it, what to do with it, what I have to say, what I can't say. I can be completely myself and not worry about what anyone thinks of me. At work, I can't tell every customer or employee what I think. If I'm pissed at someone, particularly a superior, I can't tell this person s/he's an asshole/bitch without suffering some sort of consequence. I can't tell a customer/employee that I hate them if I do. I have to be professional, I have to swallow up my feelings, my urges to speak my mind. I am free here. Fuck can be every other word(even though im not Kyna), and no one can do shit about it. I'm free here. Sure, I'm not completely free. There are laws. I could write about people, and they could see what I say about them-but im way past that, i've done it before and it's not good. I have to be creative and cautious when I'm dying to express my feelings about someone or something that I'm not comfortable talking about specifically, which to me makes it all the more adventurous even though im not all that revealing. Still, I like this place.
The other reason I like this place (a reason I had to explain to some chick who emailed me to stop complaining so much here), is that I don't need anyone to come here. Sure, I like knowing that a lot of you do come here. Sure, it's fine checking the comments on this place - knowing that even if no one sent me an email, I still have people showing up just to read what I have to say-whether it be to criticize me or just keep themselves from doing work at their jobs. Point is, I'm free here because I don't NEED or depend on my comments to have this. People actually read/commented a lot more before when I didn't write about anything important but still I don't gain a thing by having 100,000 people show up to read what I have to say. I'm not effected at all if everyone just decided to stop coming here altogether, and it was just me writing in an empty alley off the world wide web covered in dust and cobwebs. What makes me so happy about that is knowing that if you don't like coming here, I don't care. Here - if you don't like what I have to write, you can go, and I'll be okay. That's huge for me. That's important.
And what I like most about this place is that if I want to babble on in unnecessary detail about something that I find interesting, no one is there to stop me. I don't have to sit there and watch some awkward body language tell me your done listening to me. I'm not going to be interrupted with a change of subject. I'm not going to worry that you don't care, that I sound stupid, or that I'm talking too much. Sometimes people don't listen. It's really hard to find people in your life that just let you talk, let you go. It's hard to be the person to let people talk on and on about something that interests them. Sometimes, you tune out when you don't mean to.
The other reason I like this place (a reason I had to explain to some chick who emailed me to stop complaining so much here), is that I don't need anyone to come here. Sure, I like knowing that a lot of you do come here. Sure, it's fine checking the comments on this place - knowing that even if no one sent me an email, I still have people showing up just to read what I have to say-whether it be to criticize me or just keep themselves from doing work at their jobs. Point is, I'm free here because I don't NEED or depend on my comments to have this. People actually read/commented a lot more before when I didn't write about anything important but still I don't gain a thing by having 100,000 people show up to read what I have to say. I'm not effected at all if everyone just decided to stop coming here altogether, and it was just me writing in an empty alley off the world wide web covered in dust and cobwebs. What makes me so happy about that is knowing that if you don't like coming here, I don't care. Here - if you don't like what I have to write, you can go, and I'll be okay. That's huge for me. That's important.
And what I like most about this place is that if I want to babble on in unnecessary detail about something that I find interesting, no one is there to stop me. I don't have to sit there and watch some awkward body language tell me your done listening to me. I'm not going to be interrupted with a change of subject. I'm not going to worry that you don't care, that I sound stupid, or that I'm talking too much. Sometimes people don't listen. It's really hard to find people in your life that just let you talk, let you go. It's hard to be the person to let people talk on and on about something that interests them. Sometimes, you tune out when you don't mean to.