you blow my mind like a colt 45 every time

[mikeyeatworld]

i just had the most horrible nightmare that any man can dream up. i had a dream that i was at a party and i accidentaly cut half of my penis off with a pair of scissors. don't ask me how you accidentaly do that, but i did. i criedlot. i also asked kris kuroly for advice, since he had done that once before (in the dream of course). i re-attached it with some duck tape. then i went home and told my family. it burned when i peed. i was ashamed to tell my father. i felt like less of a man. we went on vacation to the tropical resort at lake ronkonkoma (it really looked like the carribean). i had to find a bathroom so i could replace the duck tape with gauze. i searched all over but to no avail. the only bathroom that i could find had a craps table in it with 10 drunken mafia looking men standing around it screaming and smoking cigars. when i finally got back to the hotel, i put the gauze on. anyway, there are more details to the story, but they are quite in-con-sequen-tial. i just woke up and i was never so happy to have a penis. i love being a man.

alkaline trio today. and reggie. and no motiv. and fata. but whatever. fucking matt skiba. one of the great rock and roll gods. the god of...drunk. i dunno.

FUCK YEAH!!!!! I HAVE A DICK AND I'M GOING TO SEE ALK3!