summer camp
june 24-26 i went to summer camp with fusion student ministry, my youth group. i was a little bumbed out at first because this year the camp was only for a weekend instead of for a week, but i got over it. i was really looking forward to this time because last year it had a big impact on me. i had tons of fun last year and i also began a radical change in the intensity of my relationship with God. He began molding me during last years summer camp in ways i had never imagined being molded before, and He has kept it up since then.
anyway, this year was no exception. once again, God began to mold and teach me and grow me in new ways. this time He continued working on an aspect of my life that He has been working on since i was in Brasil. He continued to grow me in my trust for Him. that was an aspect i never realized that i had a problem with, but my experiences in Brasil and with Carowinds helped me to see the problem. God has been showing me His trustworthiness in sooooo many ways and has been growing me sooooo much closer to Him. i am learning to trust Him more and more every day with my stuff, my time, my talents, myself, and my life. however, just before leaving for summer camp, i fell into a bit of a "trust rut" if you will. i started doubting His faithfulness once again. and then i left for summer camp...
the jump start of my trust in God that happened over summer camp this year actually started at the end of May. my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, spencer, came to visit the charlotte area from texas for a month. he was seeing his dad, who lives in this area. eversince he first got here, i felt some kind of connection with him. he began to attend my church and come to the home team (Bible study) that i lead. as i watched him, i saw in his eyes something different. i saw a struggle, i saw hurt, i saw confusion. and the more time i spent with him, the more i felt God calling me to speak with him. however, i didnt trust God to give me a prime opportunity to speak with him or to give me the words to speak. then as the time for him to go back home started coming closer, i began to feel a strong urgency to speak with him. God was really pounding it on my heart, but i tried to ignore it. i was afraid. i didnt trust God to handle it, to guide me in my words and to take my place and speak to him through me. i thought at the time that summer camp would be a prime chance to speak with him, but as of that time, i was not going to be able to go to summer camp. so i said that i couldnt ignore it anymore, i had to speak with him before he left for camp, because he would be leaving for texas right after camp. then, i had a death in the family and had to go to new jersey for the funeral, and i wouldnt get back until just before he left for summer camp. i was crushed. i felt that i had completely blown it. i didnt take the chance i had, and now i wouldnt get to speak with him again. but God, in all His amazingness, had something else in mind. He opened a door for me to possibly go to summer camp. then i knew that i had to speak with him. i couldnt give it up. but i was still afraid, and still didnt trust God. thats when He pulled out the secret weapon. everytime i feel called to share the gosple with someone, i always wind up hearing a certain song. either on the radio, or a cd, or from someone, whatever. God always uses this song to give me that extra push. its called "here i go again" by casting crowns. i heard that song while we were in new jersey on a radion station in that state. thats when i finally began to put my trust back in God. here are the lyrics of the song, they is very powerful:
Father, hear my prayer
I need the perfect words
Words that he will hear
And know they're straight from You
I don't know what to say
I only know it hurts
To see my only friend slowly fade away
Chorus:
So maybe this time
I'll speak the words of life
With Your fire in my eyes
But that old familiar fear
is tearin' at my words
What am I so afraid of?
'Cause here I go again
Talkin' 'bout the rain
And mullin' over things
that won't live past today
And as I dance around the truth
Time is not his friend
This might be my last chance
to tell him that You love Him
But here I go again
Here I go again
Lord, You love him so
You gave Your only Son
If he will just believe
He will never die
But how then will he know
What he has never heard?
Lord he has never seen mirrored in my life
Chorus:
But here I go again
Here I go, here I go
Chorus:
This might be my last chance
To tell him that You love him
This might be my last chance
To tell him that You love him
You love him, You love him
What am I so afraid
What am I so afraid
What am I so afraid of?
How then will he know
What he has never heard?
then i knew, this was something that i had to do. this was something that God called me to do, so He was therefore going to lead me through it. my trust that He would give me the words and help me speak them with His "fire in my eyes" began to be restored. so, off i went to summer camp, knowing what had to be done, but that wasnt the end of it all.
the first day of summer camp, we had an amazing worship service. the teaching was very powerful and very deep and personal. it would have been a great time to pull spencer aside and speak with him, but "that old familiar fear" was coming back to bite me. i procrastinated and didnt speak with him. that night, while i was praying in bed, God really began to convict me. all i kept on hearing was, "trust me, i will speak through you. dont be afraid, this is for my glory. i am here with you. i chose to use you to speak to him, and if you will just trust me, i will use you to the greatest fulfillment of my will." again, that morning, during the devotional that sara casey wrote, i was convicted again. she wrote about Jonah, and how he didnt speak to Nineveh when God told him to. it also spoke how he realized his mistake and repented, God used him and worked it all out. i then knew that i had to speak with spencer that day.
that night, we had an even deeper and even more powerful and personal service. it hit a lot of people hard. it was then that i felt the Spirit leading me to pull spencer aside and speak with him. i finally surrendered. i gave up my foolish arguing and trusted God to use me however He wanted to reach spencer in whatever way He wanted. so i spoke with spencer. we wound up getting into an amazing spiritual conversation that was incredibly deep and emotional. we spoke for about to hours, and God used me to speak the "Words of Life" with His "fire in my eyes." it really impacted spencer. God was really tugging at his heart. he wants so bady to fall into God's arms, but there is just one thing he has to be will to allow God to have before He can completely give His life to Christ. however, he knows what he needs to do, and i can feel that He will give it up to God and completely give his life to Christ very soon. i dont know God's timing, but this just what i personally feel. i know that God used me to say exactly what he needed to hear at that time to soften his heart so that he can open it up to God. i trusted God to use me and make it work, and He did. it is unfathomably amazing what God can do through ANYONE when they trust Him.
eversince that night, i have been coming steadily out of my little rut. God has been drawing me closer to Him, because i was finally willing to let go and let God. He can do the same for you. what aspect of your life are you holding back from God? believe me, it is so much better to let Him handle it. let go of it all and fall back into His arms. He is waiting there to catch you. and He will work it all out far better than you ever could have, if you will just let Him have it. dont let "that old familiar fear" stop you. feel free to fall and trust that He will catch you. life is always better in the Father's arms, but you need to take a leap of faith to get there.
In Christ,
Mike
anyway, this year was no exception. once again, God began to mold and teach me and grow me in new ways. this time He continued working on an aspect of my life that He has been working on since i was in Brasil. He continued to grow me in my trust for Him. that was an aspect i never realized that i had a problem with, but my experiences in Brasil and with Carowinds helped me to see the problem. God has been showing me His trustworthiness in sooooo many ways and has been growing me sooooo much closer to Him. i am learning to trust Him more and more every day with my stuff, my time, my talents, myself, and my life. however, just before leaving for summer camp, i fell into a bit of a "trust rut" if you will. i started doubting His faithfulness once again. and then i left for summer camp...
the jump start of my trust in God that happened over summer camp this year actually started at the end of May. my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, spencer, came to visit the charlotte area from texas for a month. he was seeing his dad, who lives in this area. eversince he first got here, i felt some kind of connection with him. he began to attend my church and come to the home team (Bible study) that i lead. as i watched him, i saw in his eyes something different. i saw a struggle, i saw hurt, i saw confusion. and the more time i spent with him, the more i felt God calling me to speak with him. however, i didnt trust God to give me a prime opportunity to speak with him or to give me the words to speak. then as the time for him to go back home started coming closer, i began to feel a strong urgency to speak with him. God was really pounding it on my heart, but i tried to ignore it. i was afraid. i didnt trust God to handle it, to guide me in my words and to take my place and speak to him through me. i thought at the time that summer camp would be a prime chance to speak with him, but as of that time, i was not going to be able to go to summer camp. so i said that i couldnt ignore it anymore, i had to speak with him before he left for camp, because he would be leaving for texas right after camp. then, i had a death in the family and had to go to new jersey for the funeral, and i wouldnt get back until just before he left for summer camp. i was crushed. i felt that i had completely blown it. i didnt take the chance i had, and now i wouldnt get to speak with him again. but God, in all His amazingness, had something else in mind. He opened a door for me to possibly go to summer camp. then i knew that i had to speak with him. i couldnt give it up. but i was still afraid, and still didnt trust God. thats when He pulled out the secret weapon. everytime i feel called to share the gosple with someone, i always wind up hearing a certain song. either on the radio, or a cd, or from someone, whatever. God always uses this song to give me that extra push. its called "here i go again" by casting crowns. i heard that song while we were in new jersey on a radion station in that state. thats when i finally began to put my trust back in God. here are the lyrics of the song, they is very powerful:
Father, hear my prayer
I need the perfect words
Words that he will hear
And know they're straight from You
I don't know what to say
I only know it hurts
To see my only friend slowly fade away
Chorus:
So maybe this time
I'll speak the words of life
With Your fire in my eyes
But that old familiar fear
is tearin' at my words
What am I so afraid of?
'Cause here I go again
Talkin' 'bout the rain
And mullin' over things
that won't live past today
And as I dance around the truth
Time is not his friend
This might be my last chance
to tell him that You love Him
But here I go again
Here I go again
Lord, You love him so
You gave Your only Son
If he will just believe
He will never die
But how then will he know
What he has never heard?
Lord he has never seen mirrored in my life
Chorus:
But here I go again
Here I go, here I go
Chorus:
This might be my last chance
To tell him that You love him
This might be my last chance
To tell him that You love him
You love him, You love him
What am I so afraid
What am I so afraid
What am I so afraid of?
How then will he know
What he has never heard?
then i knew, this was something that i had to do. this was something that God called me to do, so He was therefore going to lead me through it. my trust that He would give me the words and help me speak them with His "fire in my eyes" began to be restored. so, off i went to summer camp, knowing what had to be done, but that wasnt the end of it all.
the first day of summer camp, we had an amazing worship service. the teaching was very powerful and very deep and personal. it would have been a great time to pull spencer aside and speak with him, but "that old familiar fear" was coming back to bite me. i procrastinated and didnt speak with him. that night, while i was praying in bed, God really began to convict me. all i kept on hearing was, "trust me, i will speak through you. dont be afraid, this is for my glory. i am here with you. i chose to use you to speak to him, and if you will just trust me, i will use you to the greatest fulfillment of my will." again, that morning, during the devotional that sara casey wrote, i was convicted again. she wrote about Jonah, and how he didnt speak to Nineveh when God told him to. it also spoke how he realized his mistake and repented, God used him and worked it all out. i then knew that i had to speak with spencer that day.
that night, we had an even deeper and even more powerful and personal service. it hit a lot of people hard. it was then that i felt the Spirit leading me to pull spencer aside and speak with him. i finally surrendered. i gave up my foolish arguing and trusted God to use me however He wanted to reach spencer in whatever way He wanted. so i spoke with spencer. we wound up getting into an amazing spiritual conversation that was incredibly deep and emotional. we spoke for about to hours, and God used me to speak the "Words of Life" with His "fire in my eyes." it really impacted spencer. God was really tugging at his heart. he wants so bady to fall into God's arms, but there is just one thing he has to be will to allow God to have before He can completely give His life to Christ. however, he knows what he needs to do, and i can feel that He will give it up to God and completely give his life to Christ very soon. i dont know God's timing, but this just what i personally feel. i know that God used me to say exactly what he needed to hear at that time to soften his heart so that he can open it up to God. i trusted God to use me and make it work, and He did. it is unfathomably amazing what God can do through ANYONE when they trust Him.
eversince that night, i have been coming steadily out of my little rut. God has been drawing me closer to Him, because i was finally willing to let go and let God. He can do the same for you. what aspect of your life are you holding back from God? believe me, it is so much better to let Him handle it. let go of it all and fall back into His arms. He is waiting there to catch you. and He will work it all out far better than you ever could have, if you will just let Him have it. dont let "that old familiar fear" stop you. feel free to fall and trust that He will catch you. life is always better in the Father's arms, but you need to take a leap of faith to get there.
In Christ,
Mike