(no subject)
I never understand why it's so hard for me to just get on with doing uni work. Why is it so hard to just sit down, process my thoughts, type them out and edit afterwards for academic merit? At the height of my stress and anxiety, I reach out for my long time friend, Procrastination, and his partner, the Internet.
I think I'm afraid of my own thoughts.
Or perhaps I'm afraid of realising that my thoughts are just stupid, vacuous, unworthy of academic standing.
I think I'm afraid of realising that I'm a fraudulent intellect, pursuing a Masters degree without really knowing anything about anything I'm supposed to know about. Am I? Or am I?
Then again, aren't there supposed to be the things we know we know and the things we know we don't know and the things we don't know we know ... I wonder if much of my knowledge is, indeed, just sitting latent in the form of the latter or whether I'm really just kidding myself.
I need to do this essay.
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I think I've also made a decision, a tentative one at that though. I think I'm going to halt the job hunting until the end of the uni semester. No doubt if I see something interesting I'm going to apply for it but I'm not going to be an active job seeker for the next two-three months - all this after having been an active hunter since March (sheesh, it's been that long and I still haven't landed a new job).
Z - if you received a call recently from a friendly but strongly accented recruitment chick, thank you very much. Apparently all my references gave such shining plaudits and you being on my list I'd assume you were contacted. So thank you. Despite the fact I didn't get the position in the end (not through any fault of my own but just through a company decision to employ internally), it was not in vain as the recruitment agency want to put me forward for a few more job possibilities. Yeah, I'm not an active job seeker but someone can be actively looking for me :P
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One thing I have to say that I value about my ex is our compatibility for humour. Just talking to him on MSN a few moments ago, I realised that we fed off each other a lot, someone makes a comment, the other tries to go one better and it didn't stop. Same goes for good-natured ribbing (I said riBBing).
XXXX
But one thing I really value about the FBB is his genuine warmth. I don't think I've ever met anyone who exudes quite as much warmth as the FBB and I don't think I've ever met anyone who is naturally so cute without trying to be (Dri comes a close second ;)). I think one thing which is both something I appreciate and something I am frustrated with is that nothing is ever terribly complicated in his life. Perhaps it is just a youthful innocence or a natural disposition towards positivity but I find it frustrating sometimes not to be able to express to him my left field thoughts without him responding on the same level. Though I'm advised that perhaps he's my balancer. I mean, who needs two confused people in a relationship??
BTW, these are just random musings at the moment, no need to analyse why I'm discussing these things right now
I think I'm afraid of my own thoughts.
Or perhaps I'm afraid of realising that my thoughts are just stupid, vacuous, unworthy of academic standing.
I think I'm afraid of realising that I'm a fraudulent intellect, pursuing a Masters degree without really knowing anything about anything I'm supposed to know about. Am I? Or am I?
Then again, aren't there supposed to be the things we know we know and the things we know we don't know and the things we don't know we know ... I wonder if much of my knowledge is, indeed, just sitting latent in the form of the latter or whether I'm really just kidding myself.
I need to do this essay.
----
I think I've also made a decision, a tentative one at that though. I think I'm going to halt the job hunting until the end of the uni semester. No doubt if I see something interesting I'm going to apply for it but I'm not going to be an active job seeker for the next two-three months - all this after having been an active hunter since March (sheesh, it's been that long and I still haven't landed a new job).
Z - if you received a call recently from a friendly but strongly accented recruitment chick, thank you very much. Apparently all my references gave such shining plaudits and you being on my list I'd assume you were contacted. So thank you. Despite the fact I didn't get the position in the end (not through any fault of my own but just through a company decision to employ internally), it was not in vain as the recruitment agency want to put me forward for a few more job possibilities. Yeah, I'm not an active job seeker but someone can be actively looking for me :P
****
One thing I have to say that I value about my ex is our compatibility for humour. Just talking to him on MSN a few moments ago, I realised that we fed off each other a lot, someone makes a comment, the other tries to go one better and it didn't stop. Same goes for good-natured ribbing (I said riBBing).
XXXX
But one thing I really value about the FBB is his genuine warmth. I don't think I've ever met anyone who exudes quite as much warmth as the FBB and I don't think I've ever met anyone who is naturally so cute without trying to be (Dri comes a close second ;)). I think one thing which is both something I appreciate and something I am frustrated with is that nothing is ever terribly complicated in his life. Perhaps it is just a youthful innocence or a natural disposition towards positivity but I find it frustrating sometimes not to be able to express to him my left field thoughts without him responding on the same level. Though I'm advised that perhaps he's my balancer. I mean, who needs two confused people in a relationship??
BTW, these are just random musings at the moment, no need to analyse why I'm discussing these things right now