the "have you ever" masturbation meme
i thought this was funny.
THESE ARE THE RULES!!! OKAY! you HAVE to repost this if you read it, so don't read unless you're going to repost!! you don't have to post it public if you don't want to, but you have to make it visible to AT LEAST 2 people AND the person who you read it from!!! if you do it, you get THREE WISHES!!!
IF YOU DON'T DO IT, YOU WILL DIE IN LESS THAN THREE DAYS. THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO MY FRIEND WHO DIDN'T DO IT SO YOU HAVE TO DO IT OR ELSE YOU MUST HAVE A DEATH WISH.
..::Have you ever::..
been right in the middle and thought of someone//something so gross, you had to stop? yeah
jerked off while kissing someone? yeah
jerked off while driving? i might have to start
accidently thought of a family member? yeah
and kept going? no
jerked off while you really had to pee? unfortunately yes. never do that.
jerked off while watching a non pornographic movie? don't remember.
jerked off in the shower? that was stupid.
jerked off under water? no....
jerked off in a movie theater? definitely not
jerked off while eating something? i don't think so. maybe like, gum.
jerked off while stoned? maybe
jerked off while drunk? maybe
jerked off while stoned and drunk? probably
had to jerk off after your partner was spent? i guess
jerked off in a friends bedroom? no
jerked off in a friends bathroom? no
jerked off in a public bathroom? NO
jerked off in public? NO!!!
jerked off on the public? OH GOD!!!
used a warm cloth? how?
used a cold cloth? ...yes
suffocated yourself while jerking off? no i'm too chicken
hit yourself while jerking off? yeah
pinched yourself while jerking off? yeah
recieved injury while working it in solitary? no
and then finished before dressing your wound? nope
gotten an std just by jerking off to someone who really whores themselves around? twice actually. mind over matter?
::GUYS::..
cummed into your bare hand? gross, no
jerked off onto another persons possessions? josh reil did
without telling them or cleaning it up? josh reil did
jerked off into someone else's beverage? no
jerked off into your own beverage? god you're gross
jerked off with a condom on? no
jerked off with ice on your balls? no
jerked off with TIGERBALM on your balls? no
jerked off with goldbond on your balls? no
fingered yourself whilst jerking off? no
put ice on your sack while jerking off? no again
choked it right onto someone? oops
wanked it while thinking of someone you hate? probably. i hate a lot of hot people.
jerked off while your dick was bleeding//injured? i don't think my dick has ever been bleeding or injured. but in any case, yes.
::GIRLS::..
used something edible as a toy?
and then eaten it?
used anything wider than a banana? only once, bad idea
what was it? the exhaust pipe of my dad's van
used the vibrate function on your phone?
used the vibrations from a speaker?
used a vacuum?
used a household appliance?
stroked yourself with ice involved?
pinched your nipples while pleasuring yourself? every day and every night
::COMPUTER::..
ever accidently left a porno page up on a family computer? no
ever had to clean jizz off the monitor? no
off the mouse? no
out of the keyboard? that would suck, no
::PHONE::..
have you ever jerked off while talking to someone on the phone? no
have you ever SECRETLY jerked off while talking to someone on the phone? creepy
taken a call on line 2 while in the middle of phone sex? no phone sex ever
kept going while taking that second call? no i said no, god what pedophile made this test?
accidently cummed on the phone? i used to have that problem
purposely cummed on the phone? i used to have that problem
LAST QUESTION: (BECAUSE THIS HAS HAPPENED TO EVERYONE)
WHAT'S THE BEST (OR WORST) EXCUSE YOU'VE USED FOR WHAT YOU WERE "ACTUALLY DOING" WHEN SOMEONE WALKED IN ON YOU? i said i had a crazy case of jock itch. actually i don't think i've ever been caught.
THESE ARE THE RULES!!! OKAY! you HAVE to repost this if you read it, so don't read unless you're going to repost!! you don't have to post it public if you don't want to, but you have to make it visible to AT LEAST 2 people AND the person who you read it from!!! if you do it, you get THREE WISHES!!!
IF YOU DON'T DO IT, YOU WILL DIE IN LESS THAN THREE DAYS. THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO MY FRIEND WHO DIDN'T DO IT SO YOU HAVE TO DO IT OR ELSE YOU MUST HAVE A DEATH WISH.
..::Have you ever::..
been right in the middle and thought of someone//something so gross, you had to stop? yeah
jerked off while kissing someone? yeah
jerked off while driving? i might have to start
accidently thought of a family member? yeah
and kept going? no
jerked off while you really had to pee? unfortunately yes. never do that.
jerked off while watching a non pornographic movie? don't remember.
jerked off in the shower? that was stupid.
jerked off under water? no....
jerked off in a movie theater? definitely not
jerked off while eating something? i don't think so. maybe like, gum.
jerked off while stoned? maybe
jerked off while drunk? maybe
jerked off while stoned and drunk? probably
had to jerk off after your partner was spent? i guess
jerked off in a friends bedroom? no
jerked off in a friends bathroom? no
jerked off in a public bathroom? NO
jerked off in public? NO!!!
jerked off on the public? OH GOD!!!
used a warm cloth? how?
used a cold cloth? ...yes
suffocated yourself while jerking off? no i'm too chicken
hit yourself while jerking off? yeah
pinched yourself while jerking off? yeah
recieved injury while working it in solitary? no
and then finished before dressing your wound? nope
gotten an std just by jerking off to someone who really whores themselves around? twice actually. mind over matter?
::GUYS::..
cummed into your bare hand? gross, no
jerked off onto another persons possessions? josh reil did
without telling them or cleaning it up? josh reil did
jerked off into someone else's beverage? no
jerked off into your own beverage? god you're gross
jerked off with a condom on? no
jerked off with ice on your balls? no
jerked off with TIGERBALM on your balls? no
jerked off with goldbond on your balls? no
fingered yourself whilst jerking off? no
put ice on your sack while jerking off? no again
choked it right onto someone? oops
wanked it while thinking of someone you hate? probably. i hate a lot of hot people.
jerked off while your dick was bleeding//injured? i don't think my dick has ever been bleeding or injured. but in any case, yes.
::GIRLS::..
used something edible as a toy?
and then eaten it?
used anything wider than a banana? only once, bad idea
what was it? the exhaust pipe of my dad's van
used the vibrate function on your phone?
used the vibrations from a speaker?
used a vacuum?
used a household appliance?
stroked yourself with ice involved?
pinched your nipples while pleasuring yourself? every day and every night
::COMPUTER::..
ever accidently left a porno page up on a family computer? no
ever had to clean jizz off the monitor? no
off the mouse? no
out of the keyboard? that would suck, no
::PHONE::..
have you ever jerked off while talking to someone on the phone? no
have you ever SECRETLY jerked off while talking to someone on the phone? creepy
taken a call on line 2 while in the middle of phone sex? no phone sex ever
kept going while taking that second call? no i said no, god what pedophile made this test?
accidently cummed on the phone? i used to have that problem
purposely cummed on the phone? i used to have that problem
LAST QUESTION: (BECAUSE THIS HAS HAPPENED TO EVERYONE)
WHAT'S THE BEST (OR WORST) EXCUSE YOU'VE USED FOR WHAT YOU WERE "ACTUALLY DOING" WHEN SOMEONE WALKED IN ON YOU? i said i had a crazy case of jock itch. actually i don't think i've ever been caught.