Karl Malone on terrorism
This here Karl Malone again. Today Karl Malone want to talk about terrorism. A lot of people have been talking about how the world is going to come to an end and Karl Malone say this shit has to stop right now. Everyplace you turn, there are people talking about how we should all buy duct tape and gallons of water in case of an attack. The problem with all this talk is that we have become so nervous that we have forgotton who is behind these "iminent" attacks.
Sand Niggers. That's right. There's just a bunch of sand niggers planning all these attacks. I don't care how pretty those little towels on their heads may look, they're still a bunch of Quick-shop owning, camel-riding, towel-headed sand niggers! That's it! How can we get so worried about these cute little fellas. Sure they caused damage before, but we weren't even remotely expecting it. Nothing like that could happen today. There are jeeps driving around every major city loaded with missiles. How cool is that? Jeeps loaded with stinger missiles! That's awesome. Plus, it's apparently a bad thing or something for these camel-jockies to take off their towels, so spotting them becomes pretty easy. We're just not going to get hit big again. Maybe they'll throw a few firecrackers at some people in a subway or whirl up a sandstorm in Arizona, but that's about all they'll be able to do.
Furthermore, Karl Malone is a gun collector. That's right. This here Karl Malone envies the chance of plucking off the little devils one by one as they ride camels down Diamond Hill Road. And God knows I've got enough ammo! Bring it on I say! Karl Malone is ready for you!
Well that's about all for today's episode of "Karl Malone's thoughts on Life." Tune in next time to see more of life's great secrets revealed!
Sand Niggers. That's right. There's just a bunch of sand niggers planning all these attacks. I don't care how pretty those little towels on their heads may look, they're still a bunch of Quick-shop owning, camel-riding, towel-headed sand niggers! That's it! How can we get so worried about these cute little fellas. Sure they caused damage before, but we weren't even remotely expecting it. Nothing like that could happen today. There are jeeps driving around every major city loaded with missiles. How cool is that? Jeeps loaded with stinger missiles! That's awesome. Plus, it's apparently a bad thing or something for these camel-jockies to take off their towels, so spotting them becomes pretty easy. We're just not going to get hit big again. Maybe they'll throw a few firecrackers at some people in a subway or whirl up a sandstorm in Arizona, but that's about all they'll be able to do.
Furthermore, Karl Malone is a gun collector. That's right. This here Karl Malone envies the chance of plucking off the little devils one by one as they ride camels down Diamond Hill Road. And God knows I've got enough ammo! Bring it on I say! Karl Malone is ready for you!
Well that's about all for today's episode of "Karl Malone's thoughts on Life." Tune in next time to see more of life's great secrets revealed!