(no subject)
Dear US Postal Service,
Hey there. I know it's been awhile since we talked. I've been busy with my stuff, you got your thing going on, and that's cool. I guess we've just been drifting apart. But, as I looked at my mail this afternoon, I started thinking about our relationship again. And I have to ask: did I do something to upset you? Did I sleep with your mother and then beat her afterwards? Because I really don't know what I did to deserve this. I can't imagine the course of events that would lead this to happen accidently. I mean, sure, things rip sometimes. I understand that. But... my God. You shredded my envelope. The disc was outside of the little pocket which had been destroyed itself. And.. and.. and.. THE ELASTIC! You used an elastic band to wrap the whole thing together. Did you think I wouldn't notice? I... I don't know what to make of this. Whatever I did, I'm sorry. I hope we can still be friends.
Love,
Mike