Time Goes By...
It seems like I haven't been on here in forever. Wait, hasn't it been forever? LOL!
I finally got up the courage to have an nice conversation with my dad. That really didn't go the way that I thought that it was. I had to find out what his diagonsis for my "dr." She's really nice to me about all the things with my dad. I don't know, she wants me to try and talk to him and it's soo hard. I guess sometimes I wish that I was in Megan's shoes, where her dad didn't talk to her. Then sometiems I wish that I was in Brittany's shoes coz her dad isn't even around. It's soo hard to think like that. When I talked to him I just wondered what he ever thought about me. I think that's one thing that I'll always wonder. When I talked to him, I remembered when I was little that he never really went to the things that I was into. Like he only went to 1 band concert, 1 kindergarden thing, 1 promanade. I just felt that he was never there, that could be the reason that I wish that he was never there. So I asked him why he was never there... You know it's soo hard to say this, he said.. I hurt too much to get out of bed to come and see you!! That's what he told me. I never thought that I would ever really be ashamed of him. I told everyone, making myself beleive that he was worthless and nothing of a man. When he said that, that's when I really knew that it was true.
My mom, she always came to things. She never missed a single thing that me and my brother did. I think that the reason is because he father never came to anything. I'm sorry, but because my father is useless doesn't mean that when I have kids, whomever I have kids with is gonna be involved in their life. I don't care they will be or I'll be out there finding someone that will be.
Chris and I are still together. Damn do I see him like every day. I wish that Megan and I would just be able to get together. To just be us again this summer. Brittany and I have hung out. Emily talked to me the other day. She said that the reason that she didn't talk to me on the 4th of July was because she thought that I didn't like her anymore since she hadn't called me. Whatever that's really about. Ohh well. She's supposed to call some Wednesday nite.
Umm... what else is new. I work like 30 hrs a week. I feel like I've lost like 10 - 15 pounds or something. I have an eye apt on the 23rd. I've had these migraine headaches and I'll end up getting sick for that day and when I wake up I'm a little weezy. God only knows on that one.
I met Chris's mom. :) She's defiantely a sweetie. She's soo tiny and everything. Umm.. Sheline and I finally got to chat one day. My god it was soo good to just hear him talking to me. He made me really miss him. He won't be back until like Sept. He's got to go thru basic and then he goes to his A school and all that then he gets to come home. I miss that boy.
Well... I don't know what else to say. Talk to you all later. Have fun kids. Love ya'll. Give me a call sometime.
I finally got up the courage to have an nice conversation with my dad. That really didn't go the way that I thought that it was. I had to find out what his diagonsis for my "dr." She's really nice to me about all the things with my dad. I don't know, she wants me to try and talk to him and it's soo hard. I guess sometimes I wish that I was in Megan's shoes, where her dad didn't talk to her. Then sometiems I wish that I was in Brittany's shoes coz her dad isn't even around. It's soo hard to think like that. When I talked to him I just wondered what he ever thought about me. I think that's one thing that I'll always wonder. When I talked to him, I remembered when I was little that he never really went to the things that I was into. Like he only went to 1 band concert, 1 kindergarden thing, 1 promanade. I just felt that he was never there, that could be the reason that I wish that he was never there. So I asked him why he was never there... You know it's soo hard to say this, he said.. I hurt too much to get out of bed to come and see you!! That's what he told me. I never thought that I would ever really be ashamed of him. I told everyone, making myself beleive that he was worthless and nothing of a man. When he said that, that's when I really knew that it was true.
My mom, she always came to things. She never missed a single thing that me and my brother did. I think that the reason is because he father never came to anything. I'm sorry, but because my father is useless doesn't mean that when I have kids, whomever I have kids with is gonna be involved in their life. I don't care they will be or I'll be out there finding someone that will be.
Chris and I are still together. Damn do I see him like every day. I wish that Megan and I would just be able to get together. To just be us again this summer. Brittany and I have hung out. Emily talked to me the other day. She said that the reason that she didn't talk to me on the 4th of July was because she thought that I didn't like her anymore since she hadn't called me. Whatever that's really about. Ohh well. She's supposed to call some Wednesday nite.
Umm... what else is new. I work like 30 hrs a week. I feel like I've lost like 10 - 15 pounds or something. I have an eye apt on the 23rd. I've had these migraine headaches and I'll end up getting sick for that day and when I wake up I'm a little weezy. God only knows on that one.
I met Chris's mom. :) She's defiantely a sweetie. She's soo tiny and everything. Umm.. Sheline and I finally got to chat one day. My god it was soo good to just hear him talking to me. He made me really miss him. He won't be back until like Sept. He's got to go thru basic and then he goes to his A school and all that then he gets to come home. I miss that boy.
Well... I don't know what else to say. Talk to you all later. Have fun kids. Love ya'll. Give me a call sometime.