(no subject)
My friends found this posted on the door to their apartment yesterday, handwritten on a single sheet of notebook paper:
"A Man named Woman lived in a box. Woman had military-trained, man-eating fox. One day Woman met Goldylocks and fell in love. However, Goldylocks didn't realize the fox was trained to attack blondes on sight. Her face was ripped off, her limbs were mauled down to bone and marrow, and her stomach was devoured whole by the fox. Woman cried then shot himself in the heart with a .357 Magnum revolver loaded with phosphor tipped ammunition. Instead of instant death, the round was diverted by his sternum (which had a metal plate from an injury during a gunfight against the Olson Twins; Woman lived, they didn't) and struck his left lung. Gargling up blood, Woman attempted to shoot himself in the stomach. However, the lack of oxygen to his brain caused a temporary blackout as he pulled the trigger a second time, which consequently made his arm drop five and one quarter inches just before the hammer struck the round. Woman woke up hours later only to discover he had blown off his genitalia. The chemical phosphor induced a brain destroying, blinding, searing, soul crushing pain, and Woman promptly fainted. He died when lightning struck his unconscious body. The End."
wtf?
"A Man named Woman lived in a box. Woman had military-trained, man-eating fox. One day Woman met Goldylocks and fell in love. However, Goldylocks didn't realize the fox was trained to attack blondes on sight. Her face was ripped off, her limbs were mauled down to bone and marrow, and her stomach was devoured whole by the fox. Woman cried then shot himself in the heart with a .357 Magnum revolver loaded with phosphor tipped ammunition. Instead of instant death, the round was diverted by his sternum (which had a metal plate from an injury during a gunfight against the Olson Twins; Woman lived, they didn't) and struck his left lung. Gargling up blood, Woman attempted to shoot himself in the stomach. However, the lack of oxygen to his brain caused a temporary blackout as he pulled the trigger a second time, which consequently made his arm drop five and one quarter inches just before the hammer struck the round. Woman woke up hours later only to discover he had blown off his genitalia. The chemical phosphor induced a brain destroying, blinding, searing, soul crushing pain, and Woman promptly fainted. He died when lightning struck his unconscious body. The End."
wtf?