The Advancement Retreat - Hey that's actually a funny title
Last Tuesday and Wednesday was the Advancement department retreat. As you might know it was at the California Club. This is an exclusive private club in down town. This is the club that all the aging old crotches that steer the few companies based in Los Angeles county go to sit around and play craps and dominoes and read the Wall Street Journal. Probably just the first and the last one on that list though now that I think about it. The club is located about 5 blocks from work.
Now in the emails sent out about this event it was left very vague as to what we'd be doing at the retreat and after the retreat. The timeline we were given had us wrapping up about 3 pm. That's two whole hours before the end of the work day. Were we expected to go back to the office and work until 5? Were we given some free hours to go galavant (note: I don't use galavant enough in my daily vocab) around downtown or beat the traffic home. I reiterate, it was very vague.
So Tuesday morning I put on a tie for the first time in about 5 months and put on my suit coat for the first time in about 7 months and hopped in the car. Erin and I were going to meet at 8 am (continental breakfast would be served at 8:30) outside of work and take the DASH bus down. After frustratingly trying to take the 101 I abandoned it half way and took surface streets. Just as I was getting close my gas light came on. No worry though I have discovered that the trusty Gallant (close to galavant) has atleast 10 miles in her after the light comes on. I got there just a bit late but I still beat her. She's always late. Yeah I said it Erin! 9:15 is not 9:00 Who do you think you are? Jana? (inside joke just for her) Anywho.. we dashed and arrived just in time for our continental breakfast.
Now when staying at a Motel 6 or a Red Roof Inn or a Ye Olde Tymey Inne a Continental Breakfast usually consists of coffee, juice, pastries, bagels, jam and butter, and fresh fruit. What delicacies could we expect for having booked our retreat there at the California Club? Well let me tell you true believers we had; coffee, juice, pastries, jam and butter.,..and cold toast. I shit you not as you shit yourselves in confusion. COLD TOAST. My god! It was full of disappointing stars. Oh I guess there was a fresh fruit representitive. A lone strawberry rested on the plate with the butter.
The purpose of this retreat was to help us get to know each other better and help us craft a new mission statement. The getting to know you part took about 30 minutes and consisted of one of those trite "Find the person who matches this description; Has naturally surly hair or Just go back from vacation or plays the saxophone ( a shocking number of saxophone players )." Apparently the people who made this list of factoids know fuck-all about me. The only one that could possibly fit was the curly hair. One of the factoids was "Someone here can milk a cow"..and it being relatively known in the department that I was born in Montana I was approached on that one quite a bit. I did get to expound on the fact that Montana isn't one big farm and actually has cities..okay large towns.
The meat of the day was spent listening to representitives from different resident companies and hearing what they were up to and how they do their fundraising and donor perks. The dance program livened things up by having us do a brief salsa lesson at the end of their presentation. It made me actually want to take another salsa class (I took one nearly a year ago. I guess I never got over feeling skeevy going to the class alone without a lady companion).
Lunch time came around and we were delighted with deli meats and cheeses as far at the table reached. Delicious 'make your own sandwich' fixings were available. I must say, my love for sandwiches overrided any disappointment in the fact that the classy California Club offered what I'd expect from wedding reception on the cheap.
About 2:30 my boss' boss' boss Mr Crowe- although it is fairly casual and I could call him by his first name I prefer to call him Mr. Crowe- adjourned us for the day. I believe he said "Okay, everyone feel free to go. You can go back to the office if you need to otherwise I'll just see you tomorrow." Now... how would you take that? An invitation to go back to work or a simple go ahead and go home or both? I, not wanting to let things on my desk spin totally out of control, opted to go back to the office to atleast check voicemail.
I returned to find 50 voice mails waiting. We had arranged for a former co-worker from across the hall to come in and handle the phones while we all away. I'm sure she did her best and as the season draws nearer it is not out of the realm of possibility that she missed the phone 50 times. This did however mean that I would spend the next hour on the voicemail writing all of them down. We had another day of the retreat and I did not want to spend all of Thursday just returning phone calls. I hoped to get out by 4. A whole hour early from work is like a little Easter with a tiny basket of the good jelly beans.
The vagueness of our directive led Erin to skip out early with my blessing. When my boss returned a bit later (I guess she dawdled at the Club for a bit) she was quite confused when I said "Uh, Erin left. I thought we could leave after we got out of the retreat. I was just going to check messages and then go." About half the people in our department ended up coming back to work and half left. It became clear that I would be finishing out the day at my desk.
The next day there was like a bolt from heaven an improvement in the breakfast.... COLD TOASTED ENGLISH MUFFINS! Yes. Holla! A rumor then went around that our lunch today would be really special and worthy of the Califonia Club. I turned to Erin, "Chicken florentine, mark my words." Chicken Florentine is from my experience the default 'fancy' banquet meal. Maybe some potatos and carrots with it.When lunch came around what was served? Do I need to say it? I'm kind of a big deal.
After lunch it was time to write our mission statement. We broke into smaller groups to formulate ideas and come up with some "actionable items". Half-sarcasticly I came up with the opening line of "The mission of the advancement department is three-fold." "Three-fold" cracks my shit up for some reason. From what I understand the phrasing "three fold" is actually making it into the final document.
After that task was satisfactorily discussed with a lot of downward shifting eyes and stilted meandering declarations, Mr. Crowe adjourned us for the day once again. This time expressly stating we did not have to go back.....but I knew I would once again be finishing up the work day at my desk. My boss came to me and said we'd work out something where I can get off a few hours early someday. We've had our problems but overall my boss and I do just fine.
Now due to the retreat and the Labor Day weekend. I am busting my own chops here at work. With the exception of the little breaks to write this blog I am actually working nonstop all day and I am still behind. I almost feel like I should stay after to catch up.. but that would mean I care about my job... and really... I don't... at least I like to think that I don't. Is it possible to care about a job but not care enough to put any effort into it? Because that's me. That's what I'm all about.
A Breakfast Picture
