Taste hot internet list, Roxy
Some Things.
1. The Seedy Seeds had a fantastic show on Saturday at Northside Tavern. It ended up being one of my favorite shows. I think we rocked, but I completely destroyed my voice (I had just gotten over a throat illness, and screaming and carrying on and then playing a show sure didn't help). I love the Northside Tavern, and I love its staff and the people who go there, it's full of good feeling.
2. Sunday morning I had a tele-brunch with Matt Roberts. This is where you call someone and put them on speakerphone while you both eat brunch. It is a technological feat brought on, like so many technological feats, from necessity. Alexander Graham Bell needed to tell his assistant that he just spilled acid on his crotch, so he invented the telephone. I need to brunch with people who are far away, so I telebrunched.
3. I have purchased a webcam so now I can skype and vlog and all those dirty-sounding words. I'm talking to you ALYSON JABROCKI and MATT ROBERTS and all of you folks. This will further enhance the telebrunchery. Also I can take retarded myspace pictures now.
4. I stopped off at highlands coffee shop for a second, because I was on my way home and I needed a hot toddy for my throat. I ordered a drink and FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER the server came back to take someone else's order, and looked at me and was like OH DUUUUDDDE I TOTALLY FORGOOOOOTTT and then fifteen more minutes passed. He brought the other people their drinks. Five more minutes later he brought the drink that I ordered 35 minutes before, just as I was leaving. I didn't want to be here but here I am still. The highschoolers left the back room here and this drink is fucking fantastic.
5. I was at my moms for a lot of the night going through my childhood toys and getting them into piles to sell or give to the poor. I realized that things like Transformers don't exist anymore. Toys don't exist anymore. Every toy that exists today has been so safetyfilmed and focusgrouped that there is nothing to them. Quite literally, with few exceptions, every toy I've seen in the past little bit has either made noise or lit up, or done nothing at all. Things no longer have deep concepts behind their design and play.
Take Transformers for example. First of all, there were a shitload of small parts that these stupid shitfed kids these days would swallow without blinking, and whose parents would, instead of teaching their kids not to eat metal or stopping feeding them food that makes them stupid, create a youtube video about how dangerous it is and show it killing a cat, and it would be revoked the next day.
I put together so many legos and transformers and construx and such in my life, and they all rivaled any scientifically developed "learning game" that you could give a person. This evening I put together one of the many Transfomer sets that was made up of six different robots, like Voltron. It took me like 20 minutes, and it was fucking hard. Legos had no pre-formed pieces and you had to think about physics, gravity, friction, form and function together, in order to make anything work. And you learned by doing!
I would challenge anyone today to put the constructicons in the hands of a 7 year old and watch them try to make it happen. Kids have stopped having to think.
I read recently that for some reason someone decided that an EASY BAKE OVEN SHOULD HAVE A FUCKING DOOR AND A HEATING ELEMENT. THE POINT OF COOKING WITH A 40 WATT BULB, IN A SLOT, WAS THERE WAS NO FUCKING WAY YOU COULD BURN YOURSELF. SO THEY TAKE A 30-YEAR OLD TIME-TESTED FAVORITE TOY, PUT A DOOR ON IT, AND KIDS SUDDENLY GET THEIR HAND CAUGHT IN THE DOOR, AND BURN THEMSELVES ON THE HEATING ELEMENT.
Toys are broken.
I'm going home to where my bed and heater are. Good luck, Midwest, for the white death commeth from above tonight! Please don't drive into trees and stuff, it's only frozen water. You've lived here your whole lives, you should know how to drive in it by now.
1. The Seedy Seeds had a fantastic show on Saturday at Northside Tavern. It ended up being one of my favorite shows. I think we rocked, but I completely destroyed my voice (I had just gotten over a throat illness, and screaming and carrying on and then playing a show sure didn't help). I love the Northside Tavern, and I love its staff and the people who go there, it's full of good feeling.
2. Sunday morning I had a tele-brunch with Matt Roberts. This is where you call someone and put them on speakerphone while you both eat brunch. It is a technological feat brought on, like so many technological feats, from necessity. Alexander Graham Bell needed to tell his assistant that he just spilled acid on his crotch, so he invented the telephone. I need to brunch with people who are far away, so I telebrunched.
3. I have purchased a webcam so now I can skype and vlog and all those dirty-sounding words. I'm talking to you ALYSON JABROCKI and MATT ROBERTS and all of you folks. This will further enhance the telebrunchery. Also I can take retarded myspace pictures now.
4. I stopped off at highlands coffee shop for a second, because I was on my way home and I needed a hot toddy for my throat. I ordered a drink and FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER the server came back to take someone else's order, and looked at me and was like OH DUUUUDDDE I TOTALLY FORGOOOOOTTT and then fifteen more minutes passed. He brought the other people their drinks. Five more minutes later he brought the drink that I ordered 35 minutes before, just as I was leaving. I didn't want to be here but here I am still. The highschoolers left the back room here and this drink is fucking fantastic.
5. I was at my moms for a lot of the night going through my childhood toys and getting them into piles to sell or give to the poor. I realized that things like Transformers don't exist anymore. Toys don't exist anymore. Every toy that exists today has been so safetyfilmed and focusgrouped that there is nothing to them. Quite literally, with few exceptions, every toy I've seen in the past little bit has either made noise or lit up, or done nothing at all. Things no longer have deep concepts behind their design and play.
Take Transformers for example. First of all, there were a shitload of small parts that these stupid shitfed kids these days would swallow without blinking, and whose parents would, instead of teaching their kids not to eat metal or stopping feeding them food that makes them stupid, create a youtube video about how dangerous it is and show it killing a cat, and it would be revoked the next day.
I put together so many legos and transformers and construx and such in my life, and they all rivaled any scientifically developed "learning game" that you could give a person. This evening I put together one of the many Transfomer sets that was made up of six different robots, like Voltron. It took me like 20 minutes, and it was fucking hard. Legos had no pre-formed pieces and you had to think about physics, gravity, friction, form and function together, in order to make anything work. And you learned by doing!
I would challenge anyone today to put the constructicons in the hands of a 7 year old and watch them try to make it happen. Kids have stopped having to think.
I read recently that for some reason someone decided that an EASY BAKE OVEN SHOULD HAVE A FUCKING DOOR AND A HEATING ELEMENT. THE POINT OF COOKING WITH A 40 WATT BULB, IN A SLOT, WAS THERE WAS NO FUCKING WAY YOU COULD BURN YOURSELF. SO THEY TAKE A 30-YEAR OLD TIME-TESTED FAVORITE TOY, PUT A DOOR ON IT, AND KIDS SUDDENLY GET THEIR HAND CAUGHT IN THE DOOR, AND BURN THEMSELVES ON THE HEATING ELEMENT.
Toys are broken.
I'm going home to where my bed and heater are. Good luck, Midwest, for the white death commeth from above tonight! Please don't drive into trees and stuff, it's only frozen water. You've lived here your whole lives, you should know how to drive in it by now.