i was going to wait til the end of summer....
but i have nothing to do tonight (as usual). the summer of my senior year is just not what i expected it to be. at all. instead of spending our last few months together as much as possible i'm just letting everyone slip through my fingers. i don't feel as though some of the people i care about are even putting in an effort to spend time with me, and at the same when it's my turn i don't try very hard either. most of the time i don't mind spending time by myself, i get to do whatever i want. sometimes when i think about it though i feel really uncomfortable and red in the face and kind of itchy. i have that weird physical manifestation of my emotions sometimes and its so bizarre. i used to get it a lot a few years ago when i was uncomfortable. i thought it was maybe allergies, or maybe just dry skin, but i went to a doctor and it wasn't either. that was off topic but i figured id put it out there because i always just told people it was allergies or something else when it happened. anyway, i think that maybe it's best that im drifting apart from most people. it wont be such a shock at college without them. also, after a few months solitude i'll be more than willing to share my room with sam and bathroom with 38 other boys.
sam is my roommate for next year and im really glad he is. we met a few months ago in boston to hangout and got along very well. since then we've made a roadtrip to montreal, and gotten lost on the northshore together. i don't think i ever wrote an entry about my trip to montreal but it definetly deserved one. it was just 100% fun. going to legitimate dance clubs, staying out til 4 in the morning, exploring a new city, and getting crunk with the person you'll be living with for the next few years. i hope there are more nights like this in my future at miami.
that was offtopic again, but it's been quite sometime since ive written an entry so i have a lot i haven't fully sorted through in my mind. there a few things that are very distinct about this summer though. the weird kind of things that immediately when one comes to mind, the rest will follow and you get that weird rush of remembering a very specific time and place. they are...
-regina spektor's new album
-reading 6&7 of harry potter and re-watching all movies
-pretzel bites with peanut-butter on the inside
-tanning naked by the pool when no one else was home
-welch's mountain berry juice
-hanging out with tommy and janie
it really is only tommy and janie too, which is kind of hard because they are going out, but they're the best company i could ask for. i've inadvertantly seen janine just as about as much i've actually seen robby or aaro. that came off kind of mean, but sometimes i feel like everyone else is running around with their significant other, or atleast someone they care about more than me, and i hate get bumped or scheduled around other people. katie we'll get togethah soon cause i know youre going to see this haha. i cant do shopping though cause i need to save my money! we can just chill by the pool, or go for a bikeride, or something!
which is another thing, i really wish i had put more effort into working this summer seeing as im not really off having the time of my life with all my friends. ive only got a month left and i'm still quite a bit short of what i should have saved. despite all this, i am pumped. i only have 29 days until im leaving for miami. it's weird because i've never been the person who just wants to leave and start new somewhere else, nor have i ever wanted to be. i hate it when people say "god i cant fucking wait to leave this place" because it's kind of insulting to the people in the place your saying it too, and i've always enjoyed hopkinton anyway, but really, i dont think that sentence could more aptly sum up how i feel right now. i'm very ready to have friends who are more like myself again. it's hard staying friends with the same people because you were all the same when you thought girls were gross, and you all liked to run around outside, and you all liked to play video games and everything was really simple. but its 10 years later and were not all so very the same anymore and it's hard to find common ground anymore and, like i said, it makes me feel flushed and itchy just thinking about it. im also extremely 100% ready to have boys to date. or atleast thinking about dating. this way i dont have to be the odd one out when all my other friends are running around dating girls or eachother, or flirting with one another at parties.
this isn't a very good ending to the entry but i dont think i have anymore on my mind i care to share. this. novel. is. done!
sam is my roommate for next year and im really glad he is. we met a few months ago in boston to hangout and got along very well. since then we've made a roadtrip to montreal, and gotten lost on the northshore together. i don't think i ever wrote an entry about my trip to montreal but it definetly deserved one. it was just 100% fun. going to legitimate dance clubs, staying out til 4 in the morning, exploring a new city, and getting crunk with the person you'll be living with for the next few years. i hope there are more nights like this in my future at miami.
that was offtopic again, but it's been quite sometime since ive written an entry so i have a lot i haven't fully sorted through in my mind. there a few things that are very distinct about this summer though. the weird kind of things that immediately when one comes to mind, the rest will follow and you get that weird rush of remembering a very specific time and place. they are...
-regina spektor's new album
-reading 6&7 of harry potter and re-watching all movies
-pretzel bites with peanut-butter on the inside
-tanning naked by the pool when no one else was home
-welch's mountain berry juice
-hanging out with tommy and janie
it really is only tommy and janie too, which is kind of hard because they are going out, but they're the best company i could ask for. i've inadvertantly seen janine just as about as much i've actually seen robby or aaro. that came off kind of mean, but sometimes i feel like everyone else is running around with their significant other, or atleast someone they care about more than me, and i hate get bumped or scheduled around other people. katie we'll get togethah soon cause i know youre going to see this haha. i cant do shopping though cause i need to save my money! we can just chill by the pool, or go for a bikeride, or something!
which is another thing, i really wish i had put more effort into working this summer seeing as im not really off having the time of my life with all my friends. ive only got a month left and i'm still quite a bit short of what i should have saved. despite all this, i am pumped. i only have 29 days until im leaving for miami. it's weird because i've never been the person who just wants to leave and start new somewhere else, nor have i ever wanted to be. i hate it when people say "god i cant fucking wait to leave this place" because it's kind of insulting to the people in the place your saying it too, and i've always enjoyed hopkinton anyway, but really, i dont think that sentence could more aptly sum up how i feel right now. i'm very ready to have friends who are more like myself again. it's hard staying friends with the same people because you were all the same when you thought girls were gross, and you all liked to run around outside, and you all liked to play video games and everything was really simple. but its 10 years later and were not all so very the same anymore and it's hard to find common ground anymore and, like i said, it makes me feel flushed and itchy just thinking about it. im also extremely 100% ready to have boys to date. or atleast thinking about dating. this way i dont have to be the odd one out when all my other friends are running around dating girls or eachother, or flirting with one another at parties.
this isn't a very good ending to the entry but i dont think i have anymore on my mind i care to share. this. novel. is. done!