(no subject)
today was good. i did yard work with my dad all morning, and i really didn't mind at all. we talked a lot and i shared a lot of things with him i haven't ever really told anyone else. it was the kind of father-son bonding you see in movies or read about in books. it wasnt awkward and forced and it wasnt sad or sentimental, just honest. it made me happy to experience it too.
i showered/dressed/re-dressed/did some laundry/got dressed again. i drove to plymouth to have a 'date' with a boy. i was annoyed at having to travel an hour to hangout with another respectable gay male, but the drive was amazing. at one point, i was sitting in milford waiting to merge onto 495, and the mellow bridge of one of my favorite songs was playing. the light turned green and i floored it onto the onramp and the song began to build into a subtle crescendo of noise until i hit 60 and shifted into 5th and cut across three lanes of traffic and the song broke loose. i was smiling to myself for the next few minutes until the wind picked up the piece of paper with my directions on it and sucked it out the window :(
the boy was nice. his name is rorrie, which is kind of cute and kind of funny and a little dumb. i had a really good time though. i'll probably see him again, i don't know if we'll actually date though. mostly it was just nice to hangout with another well adjusted boy. it reminded me that someday i can have a relationship with someone who is nice, and attractive, and who wont have to hide me from their family. i also think it's worth noting that i didn't sleep with him. i only sleep with people on the first date if i dont like them and dont want to see them ever again. im trying to be a better person.
im also thinking about getting an actual journal. it's not that im embarassed or think what i write is really private, but it feels weird posting it for everyone to see. it's like im trying to have people what's on my mind and i dont like it. if i did get an actual journal though i'd let my friends read it if they asked. i dont share everything with them, but its usually because it just doesnt come up. i trust them (you guys) with the truth.
also the song i was listening to... "so i decided to give myself a reason" by "i can make a mess like nobody's business". both the song title and artist name are unreasonably long to the point of being troublesome but nonetheless, you should try listening to it too.
i showered/dressed/re-dressed/did some laundry/got dressed again. i drove to plymouth to have a 'date' with a boy. i was annoyed at having to travel an hour to hangout with another respectable gay male, but the drive was amazing. at one point, i was sitting in milford waiting to merge onto 495, and the mellow bridge of one of my favorite songs was playing. the light turned green and i floored it onto the onramp and the song began to build into a subtle crescendo of noise until i hit 60 and shifted into 5th and cut across three lanes of traffic and the song broke loose. i was smiling to myself for the next few minutes until the wind picked up the piece of paper with my directions on it and sucked it out the window :(
the boy was nice. his name is rorrie, which is kind of cute and kind of funny and a little dumb. i had a really good time though. i'll probably see him again, i don't know if we'll actually date though. mostly it was just nice to hangout with another well adjusted boy. it reminded me that someday i can have a relationship with someone who is nice, and attractive, and who wont have to hide me from their family. i also think it's worth noting that i didn't sleep with him. i only sleep with people on the first date if i dont like them and dont want to see them ever again. im trying to be a better person.
im also thinking about getting an actual journal. it's not that im embarassed or think what i write is really private, but it feels weird posting it for everyone to see. it's like im trying to have people what's on my mind and i dont like it. if i did get an actual journal though i'd let my friends read it if they asked. i dont share everything with them, but its usually because it just doesnt come up. i trust them (you guys) with the truth.
also the song i was listening to... "so i decided to give myself a reason" by "i can make a mess like nobody's business". both the song title and artist name are unreasonably long to the point of being troublesome but nonetheless, you should try listening to it too.