Does anyone else feel like this?
So lately, for whatever reason I've been kind of saddened. I dont exactly know how to explain it though.
Sometimes, and I know this is going to sound cheezy, so fuck off.
sometimes I feel like I am meant for something more. Or maybe just on the wrong track. I'm not sure. It sucks though. I feel like I dont want to be meant for something, that I want some sort of control on my life. I feel like I'm just a passenger in a car and this car is speeding by so many things and I just want to reach over and slam on the brakes but I cant. And I know I'm heading somewhere, I'm not sure if I want to head there, or whether or not I will like it in the end. But I cant hit those breaks.
It's remarkable, thinking back, how things that were SO important to you mean nothing now.
Jesus. I'm thirty in nine years. It's almost depressing. Disheartening, the least.
In nine years, I'm supposed to be done my education, be on my way to having a kid OR atleast married.
and I dont see marriage as something I'm looking forward too. It's not the commitment thing. Theres just so much I want to do and I wont be able to do it all. Thats one of the worst feelings, y'know. When theres something you really want to do yet you know you wont ever be able to. I feel like a donkey chasing the carrot. G'dammit, if that stick was a few inches closer I'd have that fucking carrot. Typical.
I just hope its something I like in the end, and I still have my head on my shoulders. Because, sometimes it feels like I dont.
Sometimes, and I know this is going to sound cheezy, so fuck off.
sometimes I feel like I am meant for something more. Or maybe just on the wrong track. I'm not sure. It sucks though. I feel like I dont want to be meant for something, that I want some sort of control on my life. I feel like I'm just a passenger in a car and this car is speeding by so many things and I just want to reach over and slam on the brakes but I cant. And I know I'm heading somewhere, I'm not sure if I want to head there, or whether or not I will like it in the end. But I cant hit those breaks.
It's remarkable, thinking back, how things that were SO important to you mean nothing now.
Jesus. I'm thirty in nine years. It's almost depressing. Disheartening, the least.
In nine years, I'm supposed to be done my education, be on my way to having a kid OR atleast married.
and I dont see marriage as something I'm looking forward too. It's not the commitment thing. Theres just so much I want to do and I wont be able to do it all. Thats one of the worst feelings, y'know. When theres something you really want to do yet you know you wont ever be able to. I feel like a donkey chasing the carrot. G'dammit, if that stick was a few inches closer I'd have that fucking carrot. Typical.
I just hope its something I like in the end, and I still have my head on my shoulders. Because, sometimes it feels like I dont.