Well... 2005 was a good new year.
Just after the new year was ushered in.. a sort of revelation hit me; it was a good year.
For as long as I can remember, New Years has always been a boring debacle. I've always been in Florida with my brother in an old folks park with my parents. Yes. It is about as exciting as it sounds. And usually, I find myself with a 6 pack of beer, sitting in a traditional but lonely chair thinking about how much I want this year to be better, on what I want to improve and what went wrong during the year.
However this year was different. It may be because of how stressed out I was around the 16th of december last year.. I was so stressed that I was hardly sleeping, throwing up because of the stress.. I was a big mess. I was worried about everything, really. (I've learned since then that sometimes things are just out of your reach, so fuck it and let the pieces fall where they may.) But I believe I was mostly worrying about the fact that I wasn't really going anywhere in life, and university seemed as far away as Greece.
I felt like my friends were abandoning me, leaving me behind for eachother. It's hard to explain that feeling, but going to school everyday (well.. when i went to school) I was always on my guard, seeing if they were abandoning me. I still do not know why I felt like that. I don't feel like that now.. maybe it's because I wasn't exactly confident around that time.. I'm sure that contributed to it.
It's funny how things work out I guess. I remember almost everything I was thinking that 16th, as I was franticly typing up a paper for a class that I rarely attended, as I was throwing up and thinking to myself that things have to get better.. I dont think I was ever remember being as down as I was on that day. The very next day I would meet my (current) girlfriend, Robyn. While that was an experience in itself, and I'm not saying that she is the sole reason why my year picked up after that, but... she was a big part of it. Of course, I still had that shitty new years, with a pack of cheap beer.. but I felt a bit better about myself. That same day, I was able to talk to my friend, and he eased my worries about abandonment. I'm lucky I have found the good friends I have.
Of course, my year didn't pick up after that. I still felt horrible about highschool, and I was never getting into university. I talked to the guidance counsellers (I guess they were getting worried about me) and they hooked me with a program that I could get into university with. They told me I would need a 73ish ~ average to get into it, however. I told them I would get that and what not. I knew inside I wouldn't.
I did the things required for it, got Mr. Woods to fill out a letter about me, I typed up my own letter.. I've never typed so well.
The year went on, I hated my writers craft class, hated my drama class, english was okay. It seemed like I was dreading going to school everday on the exception of seeing my girlfriend and my friends. I was really begining to hate highschool at this point.
I finally got a call from Carleton to come in for an interview. I dressed up in a black suit, blue shirt, blueish-redish tie. I was the only one dressed up.. I felt important. The interview was crazy, I've never been so quizzed before. It felt like I was a celebrity being interviewed or a politican or something. Frankly, I enjoyed it. The room was kind of stuffy however, and I drank alot of water.
Eventually, after almost flunking english -- and getting a huge break from my teacher, Mrs. Jamieson, I pass highschool and got my certificate. I could wipe my ass with that certificate, anyways.
Summer dragged on, I was hoping I would get into university.. I didnt know until late july, I believe. However I was doubting it tremendously.. I had a 53-57 something average.. the number eludes me at the moment.
I remember getting the letter.. I got one from Nippissing or Lakehead and one from Carleton. The Nippissing/Lakehead one I didn't get accepted so I was freaking out over the Carleton one. I opened the Carleton one after preparing myself and found out I got accepted.
I'm doing alright at university (trying somewhat.. not as hard as I should be.) I was sitting at a 73 ~ in history before the exam (which I think I did well on...) The only iffy was human rights, which I absolutely hate. That's one good thing about the year. Another thing is.. I feel.. satisfied (maybe not this christmas break because I feel like a slob..) but I feel satisfied in all aspects of my life really. I actually really think I've matured alot this past year.. I think I was due for a wakeup call too.
I do wish however, that I can find out what my teacher wrote about me in that letter. For it must have been what got me into Carleton besides my stellar interview.
Anyways. I hope this year is even better than the last.. and for you all too.
For as long as I can remember, New Years has always been a boring debacle. I've always been in Florida with my brother in an old folks park with my parents. Yes. It is about as exciting as it sounds. And usually, I find myself with a 6 pack of beer, sitting in a traditional but lonely chair thinking about how much I want this year to be better, on what I want to improve and what went wrong during the year.
However this year was different. It may be because of how stressed out I was around the 16th of december last year.. I was so stressed that I was hardly sleeping, throwing up because of the stress.. I was a big mess. I was worried about everything, really. (I've learned since then that sometimes things are just out of your reach, so fuck it and let the pieces fall where they may.) But I believe I was mostly worrying about the fact that I wasn't really going anywhere in life, and university seemed as far away as Greece.
I felt like my friends were abandoning me, leaving me behind for eachother. It's hard to explain that feeling, but going to school everyday (well.. when i went to school) I was always on my guard, seeing if they were abandoning me. I still do not know why I felt like that. I don't feel like that now.. maybe it's because I wasn't exactly confident around that time.. I'm sure that contributed to it.
It's funny how things work out I guess. I remember almost everything I was thinking that 16th, as I was franticly typing up a paper for a class that I rarely attended, as I was throwing up and thinking to myself that things have to get better.. I dont think I was ever remember being as down as I was on that day. The very next day I would meet my (current) girlfriend, Robyn. While that was an experience in itself, and I'm not saying that she is the sole reason why my year picked up after that, but... she was a big part of it. Of course, I still had that shitty new years, with a pack of cheap beer.. but I felt a bit better about myself. That same day, I was able to talk to my friend, and he eased my worries about abandonment. I'm lucky I have found the good friends I have.
Of course, my year didn't pick up after that. I still felt horrible about highschool, and I was never getting into university. I talked to the guidance counsellers (I guess they were getting worried about me) and they hooked me with a program that I could get into university with. They told me I would need a 73ish ~ average to get into it, however. I told them I would get that and what not. I knew inside I wouldn't.
I did the things required for it, got Mr. Woods to fill out a letter about me, I typed up my own letter.. I've never typed so well.
The year went on, I hated my writers craft class, hated my drama class, english was okay. It seemed like I was dreading going to school everday on the exception of seeing my girlfriend and my friends. I was really begining to hate highschool at this point.
I finally got a call from Carleton to come in for an interview. I dressed up in a black suit, blue shirt, blueish-redish tie. I was the only one dressed up.. I felt important. The interview was crazy, I've never been so quizzed before. It felt like I was a celebrity being interviewed or a politican or something. Frankly, I enjoyed it. The room was kind of stuffy however, and I drank alot of water.
Eventually, after almost flunking english -- and getting a huge break from my teacher, Mrs. Jamieson, I pass highschool and got my certificate. I could wipe my ass with that certificate, anyways.
Summer dragged on, I was hoping I would get into university.. I didnt know until late july, I believe. However I was doubting it tremendously.. I had a 53-57 something average.. the number eludes me at the moment.
I remember getting the letter.. I got one from Nippissing or Lakehead and one from Carleton. The Nippissing/Lakehead one I didn't get accepted so I was freaking out over the Carleton one. I opened the Carleton one after preparing myself and found out I got accepted.
I'm doing alright at university (trying somewhat.. not as hard as I should be.) I was sitting at a 73 ~ in history before the exam (which I think I did well on...) The only iffy was human rights, which I absolutely hate. That's one good thing about the year. Another thing is.. I feel.. satisfied (maybe not this christmas break because I feel like a slob..) but I feel satisfied in all aspects of my life really. I actually really think I've matured alot this past year.. I think I was due for a wakeup call too.
I do wish however, that I can find out what my teacher wrote about me in that letter. For it must have been what got me into Carleton besides my stellar interview.
Anyways. I hope this year is even better than the last.. and for you all too.