(no subject)
so after yesterdays post, I had alot to think about. you all left insightful and helpful messages. I decided I will have to go on some form of anti- anxiety or depression medication.
its not that I'm really all that bad all the time, but when I get depressed or anxious, I have a hard time getting any momentum. so I sit and stagnate, stuck in a rut. what I need, I think, is something to help smooth out the rough times. when I wake up in the morning and everything feels like shit, I cant get my day going.
In any case, I haven't been paying attention to my self very much over the past year or so. I really devoted my self to work. and now that work is paying off, i feel I have the time, and the focus, and even more so, the prerogative to take a look at myself and begin to patch up the worn bits, and fix the little holes and missing buttons.
I don't like my self right now. I don't like who Ive become over the past few years. and so it really is time to go back and revitalize the shit I like. go out running again, leg pain be damned. or go rock climbing, or fix up my bike. THIS YEAR I'M GOING TO GO SNOWBOARDING GOD DAMNIT!
I'm learning a musical instrument, which is something Ive always wanted to do. I quit playing wow to learn it. sure it isn't easy, sure I don't get better very fast, but Ive always wanted to learn to play an instrument.
I want to stop being a hermit, afraid of his own shadow, I want to get out there, and love life.
Thanks for all your love and support, the world wouldn't go round without it.
its not that I'm really all that bad all the time, but when I get depressed or anxious, I have a hard time getting any momentum. so I sit and stagnate, stuck in a rut. what I need, I think, is something to help smooth out the rough times. when I wake up in the morning and everything feels like shit, I cant get my day going.
In any case, I haven't been paying attention to my self very much over the past year or so. I really devoted my self to work. and now that work is paying off, i feel I have the time, and the focus, and even more so, the prerogative to take a look at myself and begin to patch up the worn bits, and fix the little holes and missing buttons.
I don't like my self right now. I don't like who Ive become over the past few years. and so it really is time to go back and revitalize the shit I like. go out running again, leg pain be damned. or go rock climbing, or fix up my bike. THIS YEAR I'M GOING TO GO SNOWBOARDING GOD DAMNIT!
I'm learning a musical instrument, which is something Ive always wanted to do. I quit playing wow to learn it. sure it isn't easy, sure I don't get better very fast, but Ive always wanted to learn to play an instrument.
I want to stop being a hermit, afraid of his own shadow, I want to get out there, and love life.
Thanks for all your love and support, the world wouldn't go round without it.