Control can also wreck us, though. A little is good, certainly, but if you're taking your psyche and just trying to force it to be the way you want, you're gonna snap one day. It's not humanly possible -- or even healthy or good for us -- to try to do that. If you just try to control your emotions, you can't understand them and find healthy ways to express them. It's like wearing a corset -- you can pull it super-tight and make yourself LOOK super-thin and shapely, but you're actually causing physical damage to your internal organs.
Same with emotions. If you try to force them into the shape you want, you may seem emotionally healthy and sound, but you're really just damaging yourself.
Now, some people think the way to go is to just express everything you feel in the most immediate way that comes to mind. That's not healthy either. That is what children do. You can't just lash out if you feel angry, or bawl in public if you feel sad. You can't let your emotions utterly control you.
It's difficult, but what's necessary is to figure out what you NEED. Figure out what these emotions are, what causes them, and find healthy, positive ways to express them.
Maybe a better analogy is food. If you have a problem with overeating, you don't just starve yourself because "you ought to have self-control." You just hurt yourself doing that. No, you figure out ways to eat healthily, ways to enjoy food while giving your body what it needs. Same with your emotional state. Don't focus so much on how you think you should be. Focus on how you ARE. Like it or not, that's what you have to work with. If you want to be effective, if you want to be strong, you need to take a realistic and humble look at the person you really are.
If it turns out you need medication, then you're not doing yourself any favors by denying yourself that medication: you're just playing a game of make-believe in which you imagine you're someone else who wouldn't actually benefit from it, while meanwhile the person you really are becomes more and more damaged.
If -- as may well be the case -- you are someone who doesn't require medication, but just needs to learn healthy ways to express his emotional state, then learn to identify and satisfy those needs.
Pretending that they don't exist, or that by sheer force of will you can somehow alter reality to make it the way you want it -- that's foolish. You're not a Jedi. You're not a magician. You cannot alter reality simply by wishing it different.
Same with emotions. If you try to force them into the shape you want, you may seem emotionally healthy and sound, but you're really just damaging yourself.
Now, some people think the way to go is to just express everything you feel in the most immediate way that comes to mind. That's not healthy either. That is what children do. You can't just lash out if you feel angry, or bawl in public if you feel sad. You can't let your emotions utterly control you.
It's difficult, but what's necessary is to figure out what you NEED. Figure out what these emotions are, what causes them, and find healthy, positive ways to express them.
Maybe a better analogy is food. If you have a problem with overeating, you don't just starve yourself because "you ought to have self-control." You just hurt yourself doing that. No, you figure out ways to eat healthily, ways to enjoy food while giving your body what it needs. Same with your emotional state. Don't focus so much on how you think you should be. Focus on how you ARE. Like it or not, that's what you have to work with. If you want to be effective, if you want to be strong, you need to take a realistic and humble look at the person you really are.
If it turns out you need medication, then you're not doing yourself any favors by denying yourself that medication: you're just playing a game of make-believe in which you imagine you're someone else who wouldn't actually benefit from it, while meanwhile the person you really are becomes more and more damaged.
If -- as may well be the case -- you are someone who doesn't require medication, but just needs to learn healthy ways to express his emotional state, then learn to identify and satisfy those needs.
Pretending that they don't exist, or that by sheer force of will you can somehow alter reality to make it the way you want it -- that's foolish. You're not a Jedi. You're not a magician. You cannot alter reality simply by wishing it different.
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