tired
in quiet moments of solitude I often find myself asking, what is it all about? not like I dont know but I ve just been in this bored state for a while. I have a decent job that puts a roof over my head, food on my pate and pot in my bong, but I feel like Im spinning my wheels.
grant recently got a new job, and having to drive him to work has been a pain. I have to get up at 6-7 so I can drive him in to work ,so i can have the car if i need it. not only dose this make me tired all day, but it wastes gs. as a result i got a bike. its a OLD OLD OLD POS thats been gathering rust outside a friends house, but besides the new seat and the new inner tubes, it was free. but Im out of shape, and so it too makes me tired all day.
but its nice to get out and ride. the depression keeps me low energy, so getting out and pedaling is nice. plus i LOVE to move. its something i often forget about myself. I used to run cross country, and before that I used to run all over the neighborhood with my friends. we would climb over fences and through peoples backyards, it was great fun, and as I look back on it a great work out. but now.. now i haven't got any of that. my legs are all fucked up from running in highschool, and so most fast paced physical activity begins to hurt my legs after only 20-30 minutes. I REALLY REALLY REALLY need to get in better shape, and stretch, so that I can run and bike more, I really need that feeling in my life. I can feel so free and unhindered when I run, when I move fast. its the opposite of slogging through some hard sewing on a commission thats driving me nuts.
I really need to stop being depressed. I need to stop letting my moods bring me down and isolate me from the people I love and care about. I feel very alone and I dont know why.
I guess this is just some rambling post, but i really needed to post something. I dont need alot of "ohh I hope you feel better" replies, I'm not fishing for anything, I just need to get these feelings off my chest. maybe once the weight of the words is gone I'll be able to get going easier... maybe...
grant recently got a new job, and having to drive him to work has been a pain. I have to get up at 6-7 so I can drive him in to work ,so i can have the car if i need it. not only dose this make me tired all day, but it wastes gs. as a result i got a bike. its a OLD OLD OLD POS thats been gathering rust outside a friends house, but besides the new seat and the new inner tubes, it was free. but Im out of shape, and so it too makes me tired all day.
but its nice to get out and ride. the depression keeps me low energy, so getting out and pedaling is nice. plus i LOVE to move. its something i often forget about myself. I used to run cross country, and before that I used to run all over the neighborhood with my friends. we would climb over fences and through peoples backyards, it was great fun, and as I look back on it a great work out. but now.. now i haven't got any of that. my legs are all fucked up from running in highschool, and so most fast paced physical activity begins to hurt my legs after only 20-30 minutes. I REALLY REALLY REALLY need to get in better shape, and stretch, so that I can run and bike more, I really need that feeling in my life. I can feel so free and unhindered when I run, when I move fast. its the opposite of slogging through some hard sewing on a commission thats driving me nuts.
I really need to stop being depressed. I need to stop letting my moods bring me down and isolate me from the people I love and care about. I feel very alone and I dont know why.
I guess this is just some rambling post, but i really needed to post something. I dont need alot of "ohh I hope you feel better" replies, I'm not fishing for anything, I just need to get these feelings off my chest. maybe once the weight of the words is gone I'll be able to get going easier... maybe...