(no subject)
so. say you, like me, just had a week off with dick-all to pass the time. so your friends didn't update today? so what! if you've checked your email thirteen times in fourteen minutes, laughed at all the retards on the messageboards (hahahahaha) or stalked your exgirlfriend's facebook and still manage to be itching for some content, boy have i found the holy grail!! on the front page of livejournal, hitting a certain Latest Posts link will lead you to a veritable buffet of piping hot subject matter waiting to be sucked down like a keg set down of jason spezza. or jello shots in front of mezzy. and oh MAN, are they awesome. so i thought i'd share some of my favourites.
godessofcorpses writes: It still hasn't hit home that i almost died... or that my car is fucked and that my body has been pulverized.
mike comrie says: yet the part of your brain that led you to believe livejournal gives a shit is still in tip-top shape. your username, though, allows me to speculate you are pulling a Real World San Diego's Frankie and merely ran over a squirrel, or went too fast over the speed-bumps at the Wendy's drive through, or lost all sense of direction from your impaired vision by way of Wet And Wild #000, black charcoal eyeliner. all i know is...next time, try a little harder.
madmaxx112 writes: I also wanted to give a shout out to Alex because she is just that fucking awesome. We really are brother and sister and I love it. We may have our bad moments but the good always outweigh those that is for sure.
mike comrie says: listen, angelina jolie, this isn't backwoods, honky town TRL, but if it were, i guess this would be the appropriate time to give props where props are due, namely to the guy or gal who invented the 7-11 Big Gulp, ray emery's bikini waxer, and whoever's bike i stole from outside of their house between the hours of 3 a.m. and 4 a.m. yesterday morning.
kenz_format writes: From my bedroom window I can climb straight out onto the roof, since I'm on the second story.
mike comrie says: at first i thought you wrote, "from my bedroom window, i can climb straight out off of the roof..." and my hope had been restored in humanity. but then i realized you were typing this entry and were not, in fact, laying in a pile of brains and disembowelment on the sidewalk. bummer.
battleloser writes: So what am I? A pussy or a pacifist? I can't make up my mind.
mike comrie says: you are essentially what you eat, so i'm going with neither of the two choices supplied. while i am both a "cunt" and "your mother" by way of the cliche, i think you are simply, what i like to call, "sweaty man asshole and lube covered cock and balls."
mymentalarmor writes: Some things cannot be forgiven. Michael Angelo Tomei, you are an absolutely disgusting human being, and I hope you rot in hell for what you did. Fuck you and your little slut too. You were the biggest mistake I ever made.
mike comrie says: gone are the days of slashing tires and sending unsolicited playboy subscriptions to those who have done you wrong. while i would go for more of a billboard-on-the-side-of-a-highway approach, your e-oh no he didn't is just as well. but, and let me get this through your thick mental armor, ain't nobody gonna disrespect my Eye-Talian breathren like that, not here, not there, and certainly not way the fuck up over thattaway! and i am so not a slut, you cunt-rag!
wigidbritt writes: I got da hic-... da hic-.... da hiccup.... damnit.
mike comrie says: i got my v v vi vii brator on f f full b b b blasssst, b b b but you don't seesee mmm mmeee writing a p p pp post about ittt ittt. vroom vroom, dork.
...i'd say it's a good fucking thing we've got these games coming, hmm?
godessofcorpses writes: It still hasn't hit home that i almost died... or that my car is fucked and that my body has been pulverized.
mike comrie says: yet the part of your brain that led you to believe livejournal gives a shit is still in tip-top shape. your username, though, allows me to speculate you are pulling a Real World San Diego's Frankie and merely ran over a squirrel, or went too fast over the speed-bumps at the Wendy's drive through, or lost all sense of direction from your impaired vision by way of Wet And Wild #000, black charcoal eyeliner. all i know is...next time, try a little harder.
madmaxx112 writes: I also wanted to give a shout out to Alex because she is just that fucking awesome. We really are brother and sister and I love it. We may have our bad moments but the good always outweigh those that is for sure.
mike comrie says: listen, angelina jolie, this isn't backwoods, honky town TRL, but if it were, i guess this would be the appropriate time to give props where props are due, namely to the guy or gal who invented the 7-11 Big Gulp, ray emery's bikini waxer, and whoever's bike i stole from outside of their house between the hours of 3 a.m. and 4 a.m. yesterday morning.
kenz_format writes: From my bedroom window I can climb straight out onto the roof, since I'm on the second story.
mike comrie says: at first i thought you wrote, "from my bedroom window, i can climb straight out off of the roof..." and my hope had been restored in humanity. but then i realized you were typing this entry and were not, in fact, laying in a pile of brains and disembowelment on the sidewalk. bummer.
battleloser writes: So what am I? A pussy or a pacifist? I can't make up my mind.
mike comrie says: you are essentially what you eat, so i'm going with neither of the two choices supplied. while i am both a "cunt" and "your mother" by way of the cliche, i think you are simply, what i like to call, "sweaty man asshole and lube covered cock and balls."
mymentalarmor writes: Some things cannot be forgiven. Michael Angelo Tomei, you are an absolutely disgusting human being, and I hope you rot in hell for what you did. Fuck you and your little slut too. You were the biggest mistake I ever made.
mike comrie says: gone are the days of slashing tires and sending unsolicited playboy subscriptions to those who have done you wrong. while i would go for more of a billboard-on-the-side-of-a-highway approach, your e-oh no he didn't is just as well. but, and let me get this through your thick mental armor, ain't nobody gonna disrespect my Eye-Talian breathren like that, not here, not there, and certainly not way the fuck up over thattaway! and i am so not a slut, you cunt-rag!
wigidbritt writes: I got da hic-... da hic-.... da hiccup.... damnit.
mike comrie says: i got my v v vi vii brator on f f full b b b blasssst, b b b but you don't seesee mmm mmeee writing a p p pp post about ittt ittt. vroom vroom, dork.
...i'd say it's a good fucking thing we've got these games coming, hmm?