Does anyone care?
First off the NBA is hurting me and the Kings are really hurting.Thank God for the All-Star break.The only good King right now is Mike Bibby and Webber a bit but the rest of them are hurting.
Now I know that mainly no one reads this so it is a bit sad.But I dont care.If you read this leave a comment please if not than I dont know.
My mood right now is hopeless.Last night I cried when I prayed.My talk with God was a long one.I felt useless.I am always sinning and cant break it and when I do sin I get really upset with myself.I know we all sin and Jesus died for our sins but I feel like I am letting Him down.I should be doing better.I fall way to much.With thinking bad thoughts about people when they upset me,about my personal lust,my doubt on on Him at times,just a lot of bad thoughts.I know He is there listening to me but I just feel useless,so very much useless.I wish my life can end.Am I doing any good here on Earth.Have I done any good at all?I feel like I am just doing bad and hurting others.I should be represnting Jesus and God and bringing glory to Their name.I just feel useless and like nothing.I am a wreck right now.I am battling with myself daily.I know He is out there watching but I wish I can only see and touch Him and be with Him.There is something He has planned for me I guess and that is why I am still alive.I know no matter what he knows what I will do and wont do in life.I just hope that it is in His will that I bring good and glory to His name and continue to try to lean on Him and He lifts me up instead of doubting.I am sick of these doubts.There is just to much stuff going on in my life that shows that He is there.But it is me sinning and all the stuff I am battling.I know I can do better.I really want to do better,but my body is so weak.Satan attacks me where it really hurts and I fall.I have to stop that.I need God more in my life.I am sick of feeling this way.I really just wanrt Him to end my life at times.What use is living when my body is weak.What good can I bring.How can I honor Him when I am so weak?He knows what I will do and what I am going to do.He knows all.I just hope that it is in His will that somehow I bring honor and glory to Him and His Son and that these thoughts will go away.I cant live with these thoughts anymore.They drive me mad and makes me cry.I am no good .I really am not.And than thoughts about having a girlfriend and Winter Formal.All coming at me.Satan knows that is what eats me inside that I dont have a girl to call my own and than he brings my friends and they all have dates and will have fun with me at home.Than my friends begging me to go and ask other people that I could go with.See I dont want to go with just anyone,I want to go with that special girl,the girl I hope I will spend the rest of my life with.Dear God I really wish You can bring her into my life now.Please God.But it doesnt seem like it.I am lost and confused with everything.Why do I have these thoughts?Does anyone have these thoughts?Am I just going mad and this is a way that Satan can take me down?God I need you,come into my dreams and heart.Talk to me please.Use my Christian friends and let them talk to me through you God.Hope me please.I cant stop feeling this way.You know what I need to hear right now.Help me please.Dear God I need you more than ever.Show me what to do and how to think.Tell me I am doing fine and that this is just a way Satan is trying to break me.Show me that I can just live life for the better and I can bring glory to Your name until I die,and only You know when I will.Talk to me or use one of my friends Lord and help me out.I need You more than ever God.....
Now I know that mainly no one reads this so it is a bit sad.But I dont care.If you read this leave a comment please if not than I dont know.
My mood right now is hopeless.Last night I cried when I prayed.My talk with God was a long one.I felt useless.I am always sinning and cant break it and when I do sin I get really upset with myself.I know we all sin and Jesus died for our sins but I feel like I am letting Him down.I should be doing better.I fall way to much.With thinking bad thoughts about people when they upset me,about my personal lust,my doubt on on Him at times,just a lot of bad thoughts.I know He is there listening to me but I just feel useless,so very much useless.I wish my life can end.Am I doing any good here on Earth.Have I done any good at all?I feel like I am just doing bad and hurting others.I should be represnting Jesus and God and bringing glory to Their name.I just feel useless and like nothing.I am a wreck right now.I am battling with myself daily.I know He is out there watching but I wish I can only see and touch Him and be with Him.There is something He has planned for me I guess and that is why I am still alive.I know no matter what he knows what I will do and wont do in life.I just hope that it is in His will that I bring good and glory to His name and continue to try to lean on Him and He lifts me up instead of doubting.I am sick of these doubts.There is just to much stuff going on in my life that shows that He is there.But it is me sinning and all the stuff I am battling.I know I can do better.I really want to do better,but my body is so weak.Satan attacks me where it really hurts and I fall.I have to stop that.I need God more in my life.I am sick of feeling this way.I really just wanrt Him to end my life at times.What use is living when my body is weak.What good can I bring.How can I honor Him when I am so weak?He knows what I will do and what I am going to do.He knows all.I just hope that it is in His will that somehow I bring honor and glory to Him and His Son and that these thoughts will go away.I cant live with these thoughts anymore.They drive me mad and makes me cry.I am no good .I really am not.And than thoughts about having a girlfriend and Winter Formal.All coming at me.Satan knows that is what eats me inside that I dont have a girl to call my own and than he brings my friends and they all have dates and will have fun with me at home.Than my friends begging me to go and ask other people that I could go with.See I dont want to go with just anyone,I want to go with that special girl,the girl I hope I will spend the rest of my life with.Dear God I really wish You can bring her into my life now.Please God.But it doesnt seem like it.I am lost and confused with everything.Why do I have these thoughts?Does anyone have these thoughts?Am I just going mad and this is a way that Satan can take me down?God I need you,come into my dreams and heart.Talk to me please.Use my Christian friends and let them talk to me through you God.Hope me please.I cant stop feeling this way.You know what I need to hear right now.Help me please.Dear God I need you more than ever.Show me what to do and how to think.Tell me I am doing fine and that this is just a way Satan is trying to break me.Show me that I can just live life for the better and I can bring glory to Your name until I die,and only You know when I will.Talk to me or use one of my friends Lord and help me out.I need You more than ever God.....