Being a menacing robot from the future, Galva Ron has little use for anything besides the direct approach.
Uh, Mike? We caught up with the movie. Galva Ron is a menacing robot from last week.
Man I feel old.
Hermione's search for more information on Horcruxes turns up jack-all, as the library has "failed Hermione for the first time in living memory."
You know, they're looking for Horcruxes because they heard about 'em in Slughorn's memory, right? The memory Slughorn was so afraid of he altered it to prevent anyone from learning about it?
How do they know he didn't magically substitute the word "Horcruxes" in for what he was actually talking about, like nuclear weapons or giant snakes or Endless Shrimp Days at Red Lobster? Maybe they can't find anything about the word because it's a red herring? (Before anyone says "Well, he freaked when Harry brought up Horcruxes, so they must mean something," remember that Slughorn's only freaked because Harry's seen the memory, not that Harry has deciphered it.)
The class, it seems, would agree with me, as they all follow Twycross's instructions to the letter and nothing happens. After about four tries someone actually manages to halfway rematerialize in her hoop, but her left leg didn't come along for the trip.
That reminds me--Superman: Strength was a pretty awesome miniseries. Thanks for lending it to me.
While Harry notices that Señor Draco isn't in his dorm, Galva Ron admires all the birthday swag he got, and starts noshing on some chocolates he found on the floor.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA! Time out, book.
I get Harry receiving used tissues for Christmas because his family sucks ass and his friends are turnips. But Ron's got a big family (including brothers who make a living selling junk Ron would enjoy for his birthday), his best friend is The Chosen One who has alllllll The Stroke around here, he has a passive-agressive thing going with Hermione so she probably gives him cool stuff to make him feel guilty for giving her panties folded up like a rose, and his current girlfriend lavishes him with gifts. So we know Ron made out like a bandit on his birthday.
So why in the blue hell would he then need to be eating candy he found on the floor? I don't doubt that Ron would defy the Five Second Rule, but why on the one day when people would be giving him candy? In fact, come to think of it, how did the candy on the floor even make it this long without Ron gobbling it up like some red-headed magic raccoon?
Well, if he's actually DEAD, then I suppose I should give this chapter high marks. One down, as they say. Somehow I doubt I'm that lucky.
Geez, she's finally about to make with the zombies, and you're still not satisfied. I for one welcome undead eats-off-the-floor Galva Ron.
So why in the blue hell would he then need to be eating candy he found on the floor? I don't doubt that Ron would defy the Five Second Rule, but why on the one day when people would be giving him candy? In fact, come to think of it, how did the candy on the floor even make it this long without Ron gobbling it up like some red-headed magic raccoon?
I know that for Christmas, the house elves place a stack of presents on the floor at the foot of their beds. My guess is it works the same for birthdays too. If I remember right, Harry took the box of chocolate cauldrons out of his trunk when he was rooting around for the marauder's map. They probably just got too close to Ron's pile-o-swag. And what self-respecting 17 year old magic Galva racoon wouldn't ruin their breakfast with an available stash of chocolate?
You know, they're looking for Horcruxes because they heard about 'em in Slughorn's memory, right? The memory Slughorn was so afraid of he altered it to prevent anyone from learning about it?
How do they know he didn't magically substitute the word "Horcruxes" in for what he was actually talking about, like nuclear weapons or giant snakes or Endless Shrimp Days at Red Lobster?
Three reasons.
First, there was a strange fog that appeared where the memory was altered. This was predicated by Slughron saying something uncharacteristic. It'd be like if Dr. Doom tampered with his memory of shooing off trick-or-treaters. "Candy? You would dare come to the threshhold of Castle Doom and make demands of it's master? For this, Doom shall (fog fog fog) give you each a delicious treat, as Doom is a noble and kindly ruler! Now begone, while Doom's patience still remains!" Presented like this, you know no one messed with the word "candy".
Second, I'm pretty sure Dumbledore already knows what Horcruxes are, so that's not the point of this exercise. He didn't want to find out about Horcruxes, he wants to know what Voldemort knows about them, and Slughorn's the only one who might know that.
Third, the fact that he's got Harry on this friggin' assignment in the first place is because Horcruxes are presumably a Big Deal. If Slughorn was talking about Red Lobster instead , well, that'd be a big relief for the good guys. But if Slughorn wasn't talking about Horcruxes, then why would he alter his memory in the first place? One way or another, that fatass has something to hide.
So why in the blue hell would he then need to be eating candy he found on the floor?
It was IN a box, Jim. That's why he mistook it for one of his presents. Not that I'd put it past him to eat whatever he finds on the floor. You know, I should probably have spelled out the exact specifications of every single thing this kid crams down his cakehole, for accuracy's sake, but this means the reviews get longer, with fewer reference to Marvel Comics, and I know you don't want that.
Uh, Mike? We caught up with the movie. Galva Ron is a menacing robot from last week.
Man I feel old.
Hermione's search for more information on Horcruxes turns up jack-all, as the library has "failed Hermione for the first time in living memory."
You know, they're looking for Horcruxes because they heard about 'em in Slughorn's memory, right? The memory Slughorn was so afraid of he altered it to prevent anyone from learning about it?
How do they know he didn't magically substitute the word "Horcruxes" in for what he was actually talking about, like nuclear weapons or giant snakes or Endless Shrimp Days at Red Lobster? Maybe they can't find anything about the word because it's a red herring? (Before anyone says "Well, he freaked when Harry brought up Horcruxes, so they must mean something," remember that Slughorn's only freaked because Harry's seen the memory, not that Harry has deciphered it.)
The class, it seems, would agree with me, as they all follow Twycross's instructions to the letter and nothing happens. After about four tries someone actually manages to halfway rematerialize in her hoop, but her left leg didn't come along for the trip.
That reminds me--Superman: Strength was a pretty awesome miniseries. Thanks for lending it to me.
While Harry notices that Señor Draco isn't in his dorm, Galva Ron admires all the birthday swag he got, and starts noshing on some chocolates he found on the floor.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA! Time out, book.
I get Harry receiving used tissues for Christmas because his family sucks ass and his friends are turnips. But Ron's got a big family (including brothers who make a living selling junk Ron would enjoy for his birthday), his best friend is The Chosen One who has alllllll The Stroke around here, he has a passive-agressive thing going with Hermione so she probably gives him cool stuff to make him feel guilty for giving her panties folded up like a rose, and his current girlfriend lavishes him with gifts. So we know Ron made out like a bandit on his birthday.
So why in the blue hell would he then need to be eating candy he found on the floor? I don't doubt that Ron would defy the Five Second Rule, but why on the one day when people would be giving him candy? In fact, come to think of it, how did the candy on the floor even make it this long without Ron gobbling it up like some red-headed magic raccoon?
Well, if he's actually DEAD, then I suppose I should give this chapter high marks. One down, as they say. Somehow I doubt I'm that lucky.
Geez, she's finally about to make with the zombies, and you're still not satisfied. I for one welcome undead eats-off-the-floor Galva Ron.
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I know that for Christmas, the house elves place a stack of presents on the floor at the foot of their beds. My guess is it works the same for birthdays too. If I remember right, Harry took the box of chocolate cauldrons out of his trunk when he was rooting around for the marauder's map. They probably just got too close to Ron's pile-o-swag. And what self-respecting 17 year old magic Galva racoon wouldn't ruin their breakfast with an available stash of chocolate?
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That, and previous books have established that Ron has a serious candy fixation and would happily binge on chocolate till he pukes.
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How do they know he didn't magically substitute the word "Horcruxes" in for what he was actually talking about, like nuclear weapons or giant snakes or Endless Shrimp Days at Red Lobster?
Three reasons.
First, there was a strange fog that appeared where the memory was altered. This was predicated by Slughron saying something uncharacteristic. It'd be like if Dr. Doom tampered with his memory of shooing off trick-or-treaters. "Candy? You would dare come to the threshhold of Castle Doom and make demands of it's master? For this, Doom shall (fog fog fog) give you each a delicious treat, as Doom is a noble and kindly ruler! Now begone, while Doom's patience still remains!" Presented like this, you know no one messed with the word "candy".
Second, I'm pretty sure Dumbledore already knows what Horcruxes are, so that's not the point of this exercise. He didn't want to find out about Horcruxes, he wants to know what Voldemort knows about them, and Slughorn's the only one who might know that.
Third, the fact that he's got Harry on this friggin' assignment in the first place is because Horcruxes are presumably a Big Deal. If Slughorn was talking about Red Lobster instead , well, that'd be a big relief for the good guys. But if Slughorn wasn't talking about Horcruxes, then why would he alter his memory in the first place? One way or another, that fatass has something to hide.
So why in the blue hell would he then need to be eating candy he found on the floor?
It was IN a box, Jim. That's why he mistook it for one of his presents. Not that I'd put it past him to eat whatever he finds on the floor. You know, I should probably have spelled out the exact specifications of every single thing this kid crams down his cakehole, for accuracy's sake, but this means the reviews get longer, with fewer reference to Marvel Comics, and I know you don't want that.
Reply
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