A Grouchy Musing
Yes, I know. It's a rare day that I muse in a non-grouchy way. I'm trying to get better about that.
c3n0byte recently wrote about how she doesn't understand why people worry about what others think about them. It kind of hit home, because I do tend to worry excessively about people's reactions to me.
Really, though, while I sometimes do worry about people's opinions, I much more often worry about one of two related things:
- People's reactions to me. Not because their opinion of me shapes my view of me, but because I worry about the repercussions that their reactions will have on my life. I have had experiences in the past which taught me that if people don't think you're cool/with it/on the right track, they will make your life miserable. Rationally, I know I overreact to this a lot, but emotionally I worry about what they are going to do because I DON'T care about their view of me.
- Listening to people's opinions. Especially when they are attacking or mocking something I like or love. For two reasons. The first reason is highly understandable: if you don't like opera, you don't have to despise people who do in order to NOT WANT TO BE IN A ROOM WHERE OPERA IS BLARING. Or to not want to be in a room where the TV is stuck on Jerry Springer, even if you can deal with people liking it.
The second reason comes back to my other problem: I worry that, if I tell these people that their conversation is annoying/offending me, I have just marked myself as the "out" kid, and will be subjected to bullshit because of it. Time and again I have found this proven wrong in 80% of situations, but once-bitten, twice shy.
This is, not coincidentally, also why I refuse to associate with "the cool kids". Even "the cool kids we like", because as far as I'm concerned, if they qualify as "cool kids" and not "my dear friends", then I probably casually accept them at best, and barely tolerate them at worst.
c3n0byte recently wrote about how she doesn't understand why people worry about what others think about them. It kind of hit home, because I do tend to worry excessively about people's reactions to me.
Really, though, while I sometimes do worry about people's opinions, I much more often worry about one of two related things:
- People's reactions to me. Not because their opinion of me shapes my view of me, but because I worry about the repercussions that their reactions will have on my life. I have had experiences in the past which taught me that if people don't think you're cool/with it/on the right track, they will make your life miserable. Rationally, I know I overreact to this a lot, but emotionally I worry about what they are going to do because I DON'T care about their view of me.
- Listening to people's opinions. Especially when they are attacking or mocking something I like or love. For two reasons. The first reason is highly understandable: if you don't like opera, you don't have to despise people who do in order to NOT WANT TO BE IN A ROOM WHERE OPERA IS BLARING. Or to not want to be in a room where the TV is stuck on Jerry Springer, even if you can deal with people liking it.
The second reason comes back to my other problem: I worry that, if I tell these people that their conversation is annoying/offending me, I have just marked myself as the "out" kid, and will be subjected to bullshit because of it. Time and again I have found this proven wrong in 80% of situations, but once-bitten, twice shy.
This is, not coincidentally, also why I refuse to associate with "the cool kids". Even "the cool kids we like", because as far as I'm concerned, if they qualify as "cool kids" and not "my dear friends", then I probably casually accept them at best, and barely tolerate them at worst.