the worst day of my life
Well today started out really good actually I woke up like I ususally do, and headed off to college. Well after that it started going to hell pretty quick. While I was at work Cassondra came to me before she went to her JV game to cheer, and told me that her mom needed to talk to us, well I figured it would be the usual. I happend to find out some information though that I never wish I had heard. Well I found out that a big part of our relationship was a lie, and I'm like WTF? So now I am sitting here in tears because I don't know if our relationship is going to make it through this, i'm seriously doubting it...how can I trust someone that has lied to me about some of the biggest things that have happend in our relationship? Its unprobable. The 7th of this month I asked her to cassondra to marry me, well she said yes, and I was like I am the happiest guy alive, and now all this shit happens, what am I to do? I feel lost I feel betrayed, and worst of all I feel unloved. Knowning that this one thing was not true, things are coming into clear view, and I'm seeing the whole picture, all I asked of her was to be honest with me, thats all I wanted, but I guess it is hard to be honest who knows. When I get like this I get irrational, and everybody reading this right now just please pray for me, that I will be able to make it, I really wish though I know this seems crazy after what happend tonight, but I still love her with all my heart and soul, and I always will. She was my first true love, and I hoped for it to be my last, because I truely wanted to marry her, I thought that I treated her the best I could, I put forth everything I had to be there for her, I gave up friends to an extent, I did everything for her, and I still would. If there was a star out right this instant I would wish that there was a time machine, and I could go back in time and fix all this shit that has happend. I would fix the past, I would change the bad parts. Right now I am just thinking about the great summer that we had together, it was the best summer of my life, and I will always remember that nothing can take away memories, and it was once said that good memories can save you. I use to ask how can life get any better, but now I am asking how can life get any worse? Well guys I am going to go cry myself to sleep, I know that might sound all baby like but I feel like shit, good night you all.