Shotgun & Devillic Log: Getting Summer Ready

[mikazuki_chan]

He goes to the drawer he keeps his sex toys in, and gets a vibrator, shaped like a cock and balls, and with a suction cup, and some lube, then heads to the ensuite. He gets his hair in a shower cap, which is not the sexiest vibe, but he doesn't actually want to wash it, or ruin the colour. Meanwhile the shower will bring some heat, and make clean up easy. It's been a while since he masturbated this way, but -- it's pretty fun. He keeps thinking of Kaiya looking down at him at the same time. Once he's satisfied the craving, he cleans up, and gives himself a final dose of cold water just for good measure.

Setsuna kind of wants more time to process, but he also doesn't want to leave Kaiya alone too long. So he settles for taking a moment to pray. Having a wonderful girlfriend who is too young for him to appropriately have sex -- it feels like penance for his wild youth. Not that *he* thinks god is all that opposed to casual sex or alcohol, but the specific way the singer had basically used them to abuse himself. And he prays god will give him the strength to complete this challenge he's been given.

All told, it's a bit less than half an hour later when he re-emerges into the living room.

During the time that Setsuna had been in the bathroom, Kaiya had very much distracted herself from what she could imagine was going on. Rather than just looking at pictures and watching tutorials, she had also gotten out her sketchbook to make overall and detailed sketches of ideas she had liked, as well as some shorthand directions on anything that hadn't been obvious to her. So far she had sketches of fringes, lattice-like work, tassels, cut outs, braids, ties, and artful tears. Most of them didn't *require* a sewing machine and could be done with just scissors or an exacto-knife, but all of them would be made better with finishing edges, of course. There had also been some interesting ideas for just changing the cut of a t-shirt, whether making it more of a crop top, or one-sleeved, or with an asymmetrical hem. Lots of different ideas on top of the ones that Setsuna had wanted for his shirt.

When Setsuna returned, Kaiya looked up at her very refreshed-looking boyfriend and grinned at him. "I might have gotten carried away..." She said, not at all meaning about their makeout session from earlier. Thankfully, all of the looking and sketching had helped that mood cool quite a bit for her too.

There had been a moment, as Setsuna had been heading back to the living room, where he'd worried that perhaps leaving Kaiya so abruptly and for long might make her anxious, or she might overthink things... and instead he comes back to her being her artful self. And while he wants to sit down and cuddle with her, he realizes that any possibility of him finding a shirt for her to play with will disappear the moment he sits down. So, he says, "Oh wow. Yeah, you got into it. Want me to go see if I have a shirt you can use? Or shall I just join you on the couch?"

"Mmm.... well.... if you find a shirt, we could try actually doing some of this stuff.... But I wouldn't mind going back to cuddling, and maybe show you what I found?" Kaiya responded, really rather unsure how Setsuna felt about cuddling more, given how things had gone not so long ago. She doubted that they would get going like that again, but it wouldn't be completely out of the question either. So maybe her boyfriend would rather they do a bit of a craft project together rather than snuggle just now. If he went for cuddling, though, she was definitely all for it~

If Setsuna's reading this right, Kaiya seems more interested in the cuddling than the shirt project, and he'd wanted to cuddle! Him wanting to cuddle had gotten them to this situation in the first place! He wants to spend the evening with her, especially since they don't often get a lot of time together, and he'd just ruined that himself by taking a break (necessary as it had been). "I'd rather cuddle for now, honestly." he says, thinking it's important to make that clear. He heads over and joins her on the couch. He briefly leans over, and gets his nose in some of her red curls, enjoying the smell there, then settles down resting his head against hers. "Show me what you found?"

He isn't really thinking about the fact that despite his dry hair, the scent of body wash on him will definitely give away that he did *something* in the shower.

"Mmmmm~ Me too." Kaiya admitted as soon as Setsuna joined her. She smiled at the feel of his face nuzzling her hair a bit, then nodded at his question. "Of course!" She agreed, then pulled her sketchbook into her lap. "Would it be okay if we cuddled like this?" She asked, glancing over her shoulder at Setsuna as she turned her back to him so that she could kind of lean back against his chest. She thought this would be easier to look at the things she'd found together. Also, not likely to turn into another makeout session unless they really tried. She did notice the pleasant scent of her boyfriend's body wash, but whatever had required it, she didn't think he would tell her if she asked. Maybe she could bring it up later, though, if she remembered....

Honestly, this position tempts Setsuna to pull her into his lap again (back to chest) but he's learnt his lesson - and also she's tall enough that he wouldn't really be able to see the sketchbook over her anyways. So this is fine. He resists the urge to joke 'if you can behave' because he doesn't want to make her feel bad about her previous behaviour. He's going to enjoy that kind of behaviour quite a lot in a year or two. He finds a comfortable position with his arm around her, and where he can see her book and agrees, "Yeah, this is ok."

"Mmmm~ Good~" Kaiya replied, settling into the new position, and loving the feel of that arm around her. "First I just did an image search for cool t-shirt mods, and that took me to some youtube videos of mods that can be done with just scissors. The videos were honestly pretty boring, but the different options were pretty cool~" She explained, then flipped back a couple of pages in her sketchbook. "The first thing they showed was how to cut a shirt to make, like, crop tops, or removing a sleeve, or just changing the shape of the shirt itself." She said, showing three different sketches: one where the bottom of the shirt had been 'cut' in an inverted U on the bottom with the sides left long with an arrow to a different shirt showing the long lines tied up in the back/front; one where the cut had gone the other way so that it would be longer in front, but then show the sides almost up to the underarms; and one that showed an entire sleeve cut away from the collar, then cut asymmetrically on the bottom with the shorter side on the side that was missing the sleeve.

Setsuna enjoys the feel of Kaiya against him, the smell from her hair, and listening to her passionately talk about something new she's excited about. "Huhhh. Kinda cool how much can be done with just scissors, by someone with vision."

Kaiya nodded at that, but added, "And that's just the simplest thing they showed! After that, they moved on to stuff like this," She said, turning the page to show some shirts with various cut outs shown: simple geometrical designs around the collar and on the sleeves, more complicated ones like feathered or butterfly wings on the back, and then a couple that looked like tears, or artful lines cut and twisted all over the back of a shirt. She had more text directions for herself on the page, just to describe how to do certain of the designs.

He nuzzles her gently as she talks -- he really had been wanting cuddling earlier -- and considers the pictures. He admits, "They look really cool - but I'm feel less and less confident that I could achieve them." And he's using himself as reference because if they want something a random fan could do, he's a good example as he has no sewing experience at all.

"Mmm~mm~" Kaiya hummed happily, a delighted smile coming to her lips at that next nuzzle, and she shifted slightly to cuddle her whole body a little closer to Setsuna. "I know you could do these ones." Kaiya asserted, pointing at the sketch of the shirt with triangles and rectangles cut out of the collar and sleeves of the shirt. "It would just take a ruler, some chalk, and scissors." She added, having faith that Setsuna could easily do that. "And this one is just doing random cuts and tears, so just scissors." She continued, pointing at the shirt with artful tears on it. "The one with the wing cut outs would be something for someone wanting to do something harder, admittedly.... But I kinda liked it for me, honestly."

"The wings are definitely... like it would really cool thematically for the band, but probably beyond the scope of the project. I hope to see stuff like this when people are just showing off their own creativity though," Setsuna agrees. And he gets a warm smile indeed at the way Kaiya's responding to him.

"Mhm! That's what I thought too! Actually, the shirt that they showed was of... fairy wings, I think? But I'm sure I can figure out feathered wings." Kaiya admitted, "But yeah, these ones seemed pretty easy, other than the wings ones." She turned the page again, and on here there were shirts that have been cut in tiny strips along the bottom hem, or on the sleeves, to make fringe, or do braids, create something like a lattice, or tassels. "These need lots of little, even cuts, and then maybe some braiding or knotting."

"Hmm, so actually pretty doable, if a little time consuming. You know, if we're going to have this shirt designs for fans, it'd be nice to have a how to video for the different designs, somehow," Setsuna muses.

Kaiya nodded at Setsuna's thoughts. "Yeah! I mean, you still want it to be impressive, so the modifications will probably take some effort, even if they aren't super difficult to do, in the end." The idea of a how-to video had her looking back at her boyfriend with a light in her eyes. "Oooh~ That would be a great idea! Do you think each member could do theirs?"

"And we want them to stand out from each other too... but I guess not be too revealing. It'd suck if your favourite was showing a ton of skin. Although I guess you could always wear a shirt under if that's the case so maybe that's not a problem," Yes, Setsuna has just talked himself out of the situation entirely. "Hmm, that's definitely a possibility -- assuming everyone can do their design. Which I guess is a good enough goal."

Kaiya nodded along with that observation. "Yeah, don't want to be too revealing. At least, not on the front. And you don't want to damage the actual image either. I think if it's more destroyed on the back, it'll be okay. And yeah, fans can always wear something underneath if they're not comfortable just having it open." She agreed. As for the videos, "Well, none of you sew, right? So it would be great showing anyone can do it because you guys can~ And.... to show a higher level of doing things, you could maybe have someone who does know how to sew do additions, or separate videos, of how to finish ends, or put in grommets, or things like that?"

"Yeah, that's all possible. It'd also be fun if we had like. An influencer who was a fan and have them do it, but I guess we probably don't have anyone like that," Setsuna admits. He's not putting too much effort into the thoughts though, sure the band will have a bigger brain storm about it at the next practice, which Kaiya had been invited to to speak about these designs anyways.

That idea had Kaiya tilting her head slightly. "I mean, you don't know if you do or not. There could be a fan that's well known, in the fan community or not, that could do videos of this stuff. But.... for that, I don't know if that's someone you guys can just reach out to?"

"Yeah, I don't know. Although I do have that account on the fan only discord I can abuse if need be -- I don't remember anyone there shilling their videos or anything though." Setsuna admits

"Don't abuse it too much!" Kaiya protested, tilting her head back a little to get a better look at her boyfriend. "I use it now too, remember?" Meaning she had done some posting in the discord with that account, though nothing that would ever give the idea that she had insider knowledge. Just normal fan things. "But yeah, I don't think anyone does stuff like that in there. Though... I'm not sure there's really a space for it? Maybe people who do cosplay..."

"Hmmm. Maybe we could message the mods and ask about them opening up a channel for that?" Setsuna suggests, using 'we' since they do indeed share the account - although it had originally been his!

"Mmm! That's a good idea! And it would make sense to come from our account, because I could be working on a cosplay and want to post it. I mean, I kind of wanted to do a cosplay of one of the costumes anyway, so it might be a good cover for getting a channel, and then maybe some people who do how-to videos involved?" Kaiya agreed brightly, liking the idea quite a bit, now that Setsuna had suggested it.

Setsuna loves the idea, although there's a part of him that wonders if it's really a great idea for her to share her face in a video.... but also like, people see her in the audience, and really? In his opinion, it's her decision if she wants to do it. He doesn't think he comes under the umbrella of things he'd have to ask her not to do because of their relationship. "Should work, right?"

Kaiya had actually thought about that rather quickly herself, and come to a conclusion of her own. "Yeah! And since it would just be me wanting to show off the cosplay I was working on, I wouldn't really have to show my face until the very end. And even then, well.... if I'm wearing makeup to try and look more like the member I'm dressing as, I probably wouldn't even be recognizable." She added, already thinking about that. She hadn't done much practice in trying to masculinize her face, but she could see if Mikoto knew any drag kings that might teach her, or she could go with a Sariel costume and work on making her features more resemble his finer features instead...

Setsuna can't help but smile at her coming up, all on her own, with a plan for keeping herself safe that sounds perfectly fine. "Yeah, and there can be video filters... I bet some people do cosplay videos and hide their face the whole way, if you wanted to go that route."

"Oooooh~ That's true! I could do that too! I didn't think of that!" Kaiya agreed brightly. Of course, she hadn't thought of that because she always showed her face on her insta, but it just didn't seem like a good idea to post her actual face on the band discord. It had been pure luck that the people to catch her out shopping with Naoto had been her own friends. If anyone saw her face in the discord server, then saw her out with any of the band members.... it would not be good at all! No, better not to let her face, or her obvious hair, be caught in pictures or videos on the fan discord.

Hair is an easy fix - what's a band cosplay without a wig, after all? Setsuna's glad that she likes his suggestion, and also that it's still very much her choice. He certainly wouldn't've forced her to adopt that idea, but thinks it's probably safer. He's mostly just enjoying cuddling and chatting though, and ends up nuzzling her hair again.

"Oh, I was definitely thinking of a wig." Kaiya agreed, "After all, none of you have my gloriously red and curly hair. I mean, I could maybe straighten it and do Belial, but I have completely the wrong style for that, nevermind the colour not being quite right." Her's being the more naturally slightly orange red, and Yamato's more dyed fire engine red. Also, his skin-tight leather look would be difficult to properly emulate these days with her growing chest. Most of the others she could probably figure something out, and Sariel often had costumes that pretended at boobs, but Belial? Yeah, probably not. She did smile at that nuzzle to her hair, though. "Hmm... I love when you do that."

"Might want to ask some of Mikoto's drag queen friends some wig tips, because I feel like you've got a lot of hair to try to get up under one," Setsuna suggests, trying to be helpful. Her hair is long *and* voluminous, after all. He smiles, admitting, "Glad you like it so much, 'cuz I do too." Not only was it a simple, intimate gesture, but it releases some of the smell of her shampoo too, which is quite pleasant.

Kaiya nodded just a little, not wanting to disturb her boyfriend from what he was doing with her hair. "Yeah, that would probably be a good idea. And I was wondering if he might know any drag kings, so maybe I could learn how to make my face look more masculine. I mean, I know Naoto-kun does all of your guys' makeup to be all ethereal, and kinda androgynous, but I'd still need to do a little to masculinize my face to get the same effect, I think?"

"Hmm. I don't know of any kings he's close to, but given how many drag queens he knows -- he's just kinda part of that subculture, so I bet he could find someone through the grapevine," Setsuna is just giving his opinion here, but it makes sense. He doesn't think it's necessary for cosplay -- in fact she could do genderbent versions of the band members where they are girls for all he cares, but it would be interesting to see a 'masculine' version of Kaiya.

"Mmmm.... well, all I can do is ask." Kaiya concluded easily. There was always youtube, if she really felt desperate, but she felt like she would be fine, no matter how things worked out. All of that basically settled, though, she closed up her sketchbook and sat up just enough to set it on the coffee table. Then, before moving back to cuddle again, she asked, "Would it be more comfortable if we shifted position? Like... if you turned this way, I could sit between your legs and lean back against your chest? Or... I could move to sit more properly beside you again?" She didn't think either of those positions would actually be 'dangerous', as they wouldn't easily lead to making out, but she wasn't sure if Setsuna was happy just cuddling and talking some more, or if he wanted to turn on a tv show or something now.

"Hmm, maybe," Setsuna replies, although given his attempt earlier to find a nice cuddle position had turned into, well, that whole situation from earlier, he's feeling not totally confident in the merits of the suggestion that she sit between his legs. Hell, they'd probably be better off with *him* sitting on *her* lap than that. She's already *kind of* sitting beside him so he's not sure he has a clear vision of what she's thinking of there.

That response brought a slight frown to Kaiya's lips, but mostly because it hadn't answered her question at all. "I mean, you could sit between mine instead... but I'd need to get changed first." She added. After all, she was in a skirt today, and didn't even have shorts on underneath since she hadn't wanted to make changing difficult while shopping (and she had felt safe enough with Mikoto by her side to not worry about someone trying to upskirt her).

Setsuna considers that, and says, "Yeah. Maybe if we sit sideways on the couch, with me between your legs?" That sounds nice. Sitting sideways will let them stretch out their legs and be kind of inclined - and not have to have butt right up against crotch to stay perched on the cushions.

That reaction was much more decisive, and much more positive, and it made Kaiya smile again. "Okay~ Then I'll just go put some shorts on, and I'll be right back~" She said before getting up and going into the bedroom to find a pair of bicycle shorts that she kept there to go with her skirts that also lived at her boyfriend's place.

"Sounds good," Setsuna agrees, glad they'd found something mutually appealing. He stands up -- may as well get some stretching in before Kaiya comes back, and since she'll be sitting down first, it makes space for her too.

It didn't take long for Kaiya to find a pair of black shorts, but she took the chance to go to the bathroom before slipping the shorts on under her skirt, then coming back out into the living room. Seeing Setsuna standing up, she smiled, then moved back over to the couch. "Okay~ Should we sit this way, or this way?" She asked, indicating each direction with a cutely large sweep of her arms. Once the direction was chosen, though, she moved to sit down/partially recline against the correct arm of the couch, then spread her legs enough that she thought Setsuna could sit between them. With the shorts there now, she didn't feel at all embarrassed by the gesture, but it did have the effect of hiking her skirt up pretty high.

Deciding one was maybe slightly better for tv if they decided to turn it on, he chose that direction. While Setsuna is looking at Kaiya, waiting for her to get settled, he's not super focused on her legs. He notes them, but he's not ogling. Besides, that's quickly solved by, well, him settling between those legs, back to Kaiya. He can't really see anything much here anyways. He... had not fully accounted for the fact that this kind of meant he'd be resting against her breasts -- but she'd suggested the position first! So it should be fine. Man, being in love with a beautiful person is very hard when you can't do anything sexual.

Once Setsuna settled between her legs, Kaiya happily got her arms around him and returned his earlier nuzzling of her hair with one to his. "Hmmm~" She hummed happily, enjoying the fainter scent of his hair products, as well as just the texture of it against her face. She did notice that he was pressed back against her breasts, but it just felt like a nice sort of pressure, like hugging him from behind would feel.

Once it's obvious that Kaiya's fine with it, he can properly relax. He closes his eyes as she nuzzles him -- it feels just as good on the receiving end as the giving end. He gets his arms over her arms, holding them to his chest, and gives a little sigh.

The feeling of Setsuna holding her arms comfortably to his chest with his own arms felt nice and cozy to Kaiya. "Mmm~" She hummed again, this time just for the happy feeling she had, being cuddled all close together like this. "This is really nice. I like being really close with you, like this." She said, just stating her feelings out loud.

"It really is," Setsuna agrees easily, "I'd really been craving some nice cuddling." That said, reflected on Kaiya's sudden dom side earlier, and the position they've chosen now, he does lightly tease himself, "My god, I'm such a bottom today though..."

That quick and easy agreement brought a happy smile to Kaiya's lips, and she gave Setsuna a little bit of a hug to go with him vocalizing his desire for cuddling. That little personal tease had her blinking a bit, though. "Oh?" She asked, not completely clear on why he was saying so. She hadn't quite realized how much dominant energy she had been putting out earlier, but after a moment, she realized that she was definitely in the traditionally dominant position right now. But that couldn't be all that made Setsuna comment about that feeling, right? Putting that thought with her boyfriend's statement and the way he had definitely been clean from a shower after taking care of himself, a thought occurred to her that made her blush quite the shade of red. "Oh!" She didn't say what she was thinking, but she was really quite curious to know if she was right. She didn't think she could actually *ask* that, though... "Is that a bad thing...?" She asked instead.

Setsuna smiles, and closes his eyes after that hug, relaxing and not having put much deep thought into his own comment. The questioning 'oh' clues him in that from an outside point of view, things might not be terribly clear. "During our make out earlier, you were kind of giving big dom energy." Like, pushing kisses down into someone? Definitely kabe-don vibes, right? Their current position is self-explanatory, though he's definitely not going to bring up how he'd chosen to take care of himself earlier. "Hmm? Not at all. While I definitely lean more top, I've definitely always had some switch in me."

He's also not going to mention it, but that's part of why the make out had been SO hot. That top energy bringing out the bottom in him, especially after quite a long time of not really experiencing something quite like that.

"I was?!" Kaiya asked, her blushes absolutely not cooling at the knowledge that she had been dominating her boyfriend during their makeout earlier. Though.... he sounded rather pleased about it.... and his *body* had certainly seemed to like it too... Hearing Setsuna confirm that it wasn't a bad thing at all, though, and that he liked that sort of dynamic sometimes, was really what let her relax again, though. "Well.... I liked it too. I don't think I'd want to be like that all the time, but it *was* fun today." And since they were far away from sex with each other still at this point, she thought that was probably as much as she needed to say. Though... she was still curious. "Mmm... is it okay if I ask something... about earlier? You can say you don't wanna talk about it, though, of course." She hurried to add, not wanting him to feel that it would come off negatively somehow to her if he didn't want to answer her possibly invasive and embarrassing question.

He chuckles softly at her only realizing how dominating she had been earlier. He can't see her face, but he has enough trust in her that she can put together the pieces between that and it having *literally* gotten him hard, that it certainly wasn't an issue. "I wouldn't want it to be like that all the time; but I'm definitely into it sometimes."

Setsuna's not sure what exactly she wanted to ask about, there was kind of a lot to unpack about earlier. But he's not going to get offended by any question, and won't really know if he's comfortable answering til she asks, "I mean, ask away, and I'll decide from there how much I wanna talk about it?"

Kaiya nodded to herself at that response. "Okay." She paused for a couple of seconds, deciding if she really wanted to ask this question, then just closed her eyes and asked. It wasn't that she was worried about the answer. Instead, she was worried that it would be a question Setsuna wouldn't *want* to answer. "Umm... so... you said you're feeling like a bottom today, and I know you went and, mmm, took care of yourself earlier? So... did you... do that like a bottom today?" She didn't have a problem with the word 'masturbate', but it felt like such a delicate situation already, that some more circumspect language felt like it should be used.

Kaiya's impulse that Setsuna doesn't really want to talk about this much is definitely correct. But he *also* thinks honest talk is crucial in a relationship. It's not like she's asking him to describe what he did... Not wanting to share details, not feeling like they're necessary, he simply agrees, "Yeah, I did."

Kaiya's always been really accepting of his bisexuality, and knows that he slept with everyone in the past, so he doesn't think this'll bother her any -- although unfortunately in today's world you can never be 100% sure that someone won't look down on you when you admit something like that.

That simple response in the affirmative was good enough to answer Kaiya's question, and she had a feeling from the wording, and the tone in her boyfriend's voice that Setsuna wasn't exactly interested in giving her details. And she would respect that, because she knew she didn't really need them. Sure, she was very, very curious what he had used and how, but maybe that was a question better saved til closer to when they might be engaging in that sort of thing together. That said, she had no idea how to actually respond to that. 'Okay' or 'neat' were not the right words at all, but she couldn't think of anything else that was both accepting and not asking for more details, so she just went with a happy little, "Okay." and hoped that was fine.

"Anyway," She continued, wanting to give them something else to talk about, "are my legs kinda ridiculously long now, or is it just me?" Not that they were visibly disproportionately long for her, but sitting with them to either side of her boyfriend, she *did* look rather leggy, at least to herself. Maybe it was just the skirt being ridden so high up and the shorts being quite short so that a skirt would normally cover them.

A misfortunate of this position is that they can't really see each others' faces that well, but Setsuna accepts that OK on the face of it -- and that that was sufficient detail to satisfy her curiosity, at least for now. He smiles at her changing the topic and looks at her legs, "I mean, you're definitely pretty leggy, but like, your brother is too? So maybe it just runs in the family."

"Yeah, maybe." Kaiya agreed with a smile, then gently knocked her leg on the open side of the couch against Setsuna's side. "I guess it would have to come from mom's side, though. I kinda wonder what the rest of my family on that side is like." It was an idle comment at best. She didn't know her mother's maiden name, and no one from that side of the family had ever made contact with her or her brother, to her knowledge. She didn't even know if there was any family left in Ireland *to* get in contact with.

When Kaiya knocks her leg against him, he resists the impulse to put his hand on her leg. He doesn't need that kind of energy today. "Hmm, that would make sense. I mean, that your height likely comes from the 'foreign' side of the equation." Setsuna agrees with her assumption. He's sure if they put get a private eye involved they could maybe find out more about her mom, but he's only going to bring that up if she sounds more like she wants to try to get in contact.

Kaiya nodded along with that. "Yeah, cause my dad and my uncle aren't tall at all." She added, actually feeling rather good that she could just mention her dad offhandedly like that and not feel much in the way of negative emotions anymore. It wasn't that she forgave him, or anything like that. She'd just decided that she didn't want to waste her energy on him anymore. He officially had no say in her life anymore, and his last communication had indicated he had no interest in doing so anyway. So... he was just a fact now. She had a dad. He was not tall. Fact. Nothing more. "Sometimes I imagine Keiji and I have a bunch of redheaded, super freckle-y cousins~" She added with a grin. There wasn't any evidence that their mother even had siblings, so obviously this was all strictly fantasy, but she liked it.

Setsuna nods at that fact about her dad. Seems like it did indeed come from the western side of the family. He smiles at the notion they could have some cousins, and then realizes, "Your mom was irish? If so those cousins you may or may not have may well be catholic." This was amusing to him, since that's his faith. And nothing more; he has less than 0 interest in trying to convince someone to join his faith.

"Yeah! I didn't tell you that before?" Kaiya responded, a little surprised that she might not have shared her mother's nationality with Setsuna before. The revelation about her imaginary cousins made her giggle happily, though. "Well, that would make sense why my mom read to me from that children's bible stories book, right?" She responded, thinking about that book that they had talked about months ago. Actually, thinking about it now... they never had gone looking to see if they could find a book like it for her. She wasn't particularly interested in actually being Catholic, but she would kind of like to find the book her mother had read her. And she would like to read the bible sometime, just to be able to better understand things when she accompanied Setsuna to church.

"I was making sure I didn't have it mixed up with scottish," Setsuna was clarifying, not wanting to incorrectly assume. He's not even entirely sure where he'd picked up the understanding that there are many catholics in Ireland, and he's not as certain about Scotland. "That would make some sense... although bible stories aren't catholic specific." Meaning they didn't know for sure if her mom was catholic or some other type of christian.

"Oooooh~ Yeah, Irish." Kaiya confirmed once again. She did smile at Setsuna making sure she knew that the book didn't equal catholicism, but either way it didn't really matter. "Mm, if it was, it was. If it wasn't, it wasn't. Doesn't matter. I like that they're the same as the catholic stories, though. At least that means I know some of them, so I can understand it some." She said, even as she was curling one of her hands into his.

"Mm, fair enough. I think we even share some of our stories with muslims and jewish people too," Setsuna replies, pretty sure that those religions all have very similar roots. He gives her hand a squeeze once he finds it in his palm, and closes his eyes again as he relaxes in this wonderful position.

Kaiya smiled and returned that nice squeeze. "Yeah? I don't really know about those. Are they like the difference between Christian and Catholic?" She asked, completely ignorant of the other two religions that had been mentioned. Whatever the answer, though, she was glad that Setsuna seemed so relaxed now.

"... I must admit, I don't really know the details. I don't know that much about Islam or Judaism. But I'm pretty sure that there's some overlap in the books of our faith? I'd have to look it up," Setsuna says, and considering he hasn't moved a muscle, not even to open his eyes, it's pretty clear he has no intention of looking it up *now*.

And the fact that Kaiya's response to that was merely a shrug, it was probably clear that she wasn't super invested in finding out either. After all, if Setsuna didn't readily know, it really didn't matter at the moment. "That's interesting, though. I wonder if there are other religions that are different, but have some of the same stories, or beliefs, or something."

"I mean.... I remember hearing that many, many cultures have some kind of 'great flood' myth, even if it's not specifically Noah's arc -- but again, I'm just vaguely remembering something and have no facts off the top of my head," Setsuna admits.

"Oh that's neat." Kaiya responded with light interest. "That does kind of argue that there were big, big floods in the past, at least." Not surprising, she supposed, since big floods still happened in a lot of places. "I was kinda wondering about religions that are different from Christian ones, but are similar to each other, though. Maybe not so obviously copied as Roman and Greek ancient religions, though." She added, since those two she knew about, and also knew they were pretty much identical.

Setsuna smiles, and says, "Aa, I've watched documentaries about this stuff in the past -- I just wish I could remember it better; to explain it better. But there's a kind of progress from animism -- to polytheism, so you tend to have things like gods of the sun, of the moon, etc.... So I think that sort of thing is common. I think the Jewish, Muslim, Christian monotheist thing is more rare - but like I said, I think those three are related..."

"Oooooh~ So like Shinto!" Kaiya exclaimed. She might not be super well versed in even this Japanese religion, but she did know the most well known and popular stories, and Amaterasu, Susanoo, Tsukuyomi, Inari, and many of the other Shinto deities were quite familiar to her. "I can see how that would happen... I wonder..." She trailed off, feeling a little weird about voicing the rest of that thought. She wondered how the idea of one god, rather than many, had happened, but Setsuna truly believed in this god, so... it might not be good to question the creation of his religion like that?

Setsuna is a very unusual Catholic. He basically both believes in his god, but accepts that the bible is, in a sense, a flawed piece made by humans, and he thinks that people who worship other gods/beings are worshipping something resembling different aspects of his god -- not that his god is the 'one true god', but another aspect of what divine energy or whatever. Which is why he doesn't care what people believe (or if they believe anything at all) as long as they're good people - because every religion he's aware of seems to agree that you should be a good person. Perhaps religious stories are the way people are able to glimpse some elements of this divine power/being that is otherwise firmly beyond human ken.

Also it's really obvious where Kaiya's thoughts are going, "How it gets to the 'one god' thing? Well even a lot of the pantheons have greater or lesser gods - and in catholicism we have saints - the patron saint of this or that, which... is similar in concept to the spirit of the river, or the god of the forest, if you think about it." He says philosophically.

"Ah... yeah..." Kaiya admitted when Setsuna guessed where her thoughts had been going. The explanation was really rather interesting, though. "Oh~ That's interesting! I didn't know about the saints and stuff." She responded, thinking this turn was quite interesting. After all, she had only gone to church with her boyfriend one time before. Not that she was opposed to going again, things just hadn't lined up since for Setsuna both wanting to go and her staying over and being able to go with him. And she didn't remember anything about saints being mentioned that one time.

"I mean, I think the things the saints are saints OF and the things minor pantheon gods are gods OF maybe don't have a ton of overlap, but it does seem like a similar concept to me," Setsuna shrugs. He nods at her not knowing about saints, and says, "Most saint stuff isn't really in the bible - it's more... the practicality of how people have worshipped. I guess if it's a petty thing it might feel awkward bothering god about it, and you might ask a local relevant saint instead..." He's heard of christian factions that are against sainthoods because it seems like worshipping another god which is clearly forbidden by Christianity but, again, he doesn't really care what other people do.

Kaiya listened with interest to what Setsuna had to say about saints, and found his take very understandable. "That makes sense to me. And if certain saints are related to certain ideas or aspects of life, then it makes sense to, kinda, delegate those prayers and stuff?" She wasn't sure she had the idea completely right, but assuming that God existed, it must be exhausting to be the only god of an entire world, nevermind of every world ever, so delegation would make sense in a human understanding of things. At least, it did to her.

"Yeah, if you have a saint of-- motherhood, and you're pregnant, you're going to pray to her, right?" Setsuna fully agrees with that. He doesn't know a lot of saints off-hand because he tends to think that whomever you pray to it's going to the same place, but it all makes sense to him.

That thought had Kaiya nodding, even if Setsuna might not be able to readily see it. "Yeah! And, I dunno, for me... I think I'd rather talk to someone I think will understand my particular problem, instead of just one overall entity?" She wasn't sure that made sense, exactly, since the overall entity in this equation was supposed to be an all-knowing god, but she still liked the idea of talking to someone who was just going to concentrate on her problem.

"Hmm. Kinda like how -- you can talk to me or Miko about anything, but you might nevertheless feel more comfortable talking to someone else about periods, or whatever. Someone who gets it more intimately," Setsuna muses. It's not his experience, but he can understand it.

Kaiya was right there with Setsuna in his explanation, right up until he mentioned periods. That reminded her of back around new years when she had that terrible period all over his sheets and they ended up at the hospital. She blushed hot red at the memory, but cleared her throat before agreeing with a soft, "Yeah, like that."

Setsuna hadn't meant to bring up any feelings of shame. He's comfortable with periods. The way she clears his throat -- he feels like pointing out, "Oh, I'm not saying I don't want you talking to me about that stuff. Feel free; I just know that commiserating with someone else who has a period probably feels better."

Her reaction had been almost 100% because she thought Setsuna was uncomfortable with such a conversation, assuming there was someone else she could talk to. Not that she necessarily wanted to talk to him about everything to do with her period, but she was definitely much more relaxed having it confirmed that he was fine with her talking to him about it if she wanted. "Mmm... well, if I want to complain about it, talking to someone else that also experiences the same thing is probably helpful." Truth was, her new friends were very open and vocal about their cycles, so she had actually gotten to experience that kind of thing for the first time in her life. "But... I'm glad that I can still talk to you about it too. I might be weird for that, but it makes me happy and feel... safe?"

Setsuna will only ever understand periods from the point of view of someone who hasn't had one, so he can sympathize but not empathize. But they don't weird him out. He thinks any guy who's potentially interested in being with a woman has a duty to have some basic understanding of it, and not to treat it as weird when it's just a fact of life. "It's a normal and natural part of your life. For me it would be weirder if you had to hide it. And if that makes you feel safe, then even better."

Hearing that brought a soft smile to Kaiya's lips. "It really does seem so taboo for people to talk about, somehow. Which, thinking about it, really makes no sense. But people just don't talk about it, and women do their best to hide their pads and tampons... I dunno, it's weird. I'm just glad I don't have to feel weird with you or with my friends." She paired her words with another little squeeze to Setsuna's hand.

"I think it relates to... misogyny and patriarchy," Setsuna muses, not deeply informed but given how many things tie back to those concepts, and the kind of weirdo alpha males you encounter online who seem to think women owe them sex, and are only good for sex and babies, and seem to somehow also find vaginas gross and weird, it makes sense, "But if I was hung up on that stuff, I wouldn't have pink hair and a history of sex with men, so. whatever."

"Ewwww misogyny and patriarchy~" Kaiya responded, though she was somewhat amused too. And even more so at Setsuna's additional thoughts. "Patriarchy? Or periods?" She teased, 100% sure he was talking about the former, though, since those arguments absolutely had nothing to do with the latter.

"Patriarchy. For sure. If I had a problem with periods that'd make me more likely to have a history of sex with men, right?" Setsuna jokes. It doesn't really matter what they're talking about, honestly. He's so comfy and relaxed lying with Kaiya like this, and the less material comfort of knowing that they can talk about whatever.

That confirmation made Kaiya giggle happily. "Yeah~ That's what I thought~" She agreed, still happy and amused. "You might have *all* history of sex with men, which would suck for me~" Not that they were having any kind of sex yet, but she was pretty sure they wouldn't be dating if he wasn't sexually interested in her at all.

"Yeah, that would be awkward," Setsuna agrees, as their relationship being in its current non-sexual state is not really the way he would prefer things to be, and he does look forward to when they reach the point that they can start exploring in that direction as well.

"Yeah, it really would." Kaiya agreed, then sighed happily and gave Setsuna's hair another little nuzzle. "Hmmm.... I'm really glad that I can just talk to you about anything, though." She said, returning to the original conversation they'd been having.

Setsuna smiles at her affirming that, and says, "I think that's how it should be -- between partners. Like, of course if someone doesn't want to talk about something, we can just say we're uncomfortable after the topic has come up, but off the top of my head I don't know what I'd be uncomfortable talking about with you." Maybe serious details about his sexual exploits, but that's more because of where their relationship is in terms of sex.

Kaiya nodded along with that. "Yeah, and I like that too: that it's okay to just say that we're not feeling like talking about something, and that's fine." Like she had known earlier that her question about what Setsuna had done in the bathroom might have met with that response, but had been okay with that. "I don't think there's much I'd be actually uncomfortable talking about with you. Maybe nervous, but not actually uncomfortable."

"Well, and there's always the option to say, 'let's talk about this some other time' too," Setsuna agrees, and he's pleased to hear all this because... it's consent. Consent to conversations, and this kind of open communication and consent will only serve them well continuously and in the future.

That brought another nod, "Yeah, like before when I couldn't really talk about my brother." She said, realizing only now that they had *always* kind of had this dynamic in their conversations. That they could talk about important things as easily as silly things, but also respect each other not being ready or able to talk about something at a certain time but still be able to talk about it later.

Setsuna nods. She must not have had a lot of people to confide in, especially about the darkest things in her past. Especially since while she'd KNOWN what Keiji was doing to protect her, they certainly weren't speaking to each other about it. "For me, being partners means supporting each other, and trust, and sometimes that means... supporting even when you don't know what the problem is."

Kaiya gave Setsuna a good squeeze of a hug. "I like that. I really like that definition. I really want us to always be able to support each other like that." Just thinking about it made her realize just how much deeper their relationship was than ones she saw on TV and in movies, even without most of the sexual aspect. And.... well, as annoyed as she got about it around her aforementioned period, the waiting for sex seemed to make the eventual idea of it that much more exciting to her.

Setsuna had experienced sex without any other trappings of relationships before, and it had made him feel empty. And when he started trying to find relationships, he kept finding people who seemed to want support without being willing to give it in return -- or only understood support as financial. What he wants most is to feel like he has a partner, who he can run ideas past, and he can check their ideas, they can both pursue their own dreams and feel joy at each others' successes. That he'd found that in a place he'd've least expected it doesn't matter. He doesn't know what to say, it doesn't really feel like more needs to be said, so he remains comfortably quiet.

When Setsuna let the conversation lapse into comfortable silence, Kaiya didn't try to fill it. It was nice, just sitting there, her boyfriend leaning back against her, her arms settled comfortably around him. She settled her chin against his shoulder, smiling at the slight tickle of his straight hair against her cheek, it feeling quite different from her own curly hair. And for a while, she just stayed that way. Eventually, though, she needed to shift her legs. For the one on the outside of the couch it was easy: she just straightened it down beside Setsuna's. The one against the back of the couch, though... "Mmmm... is there space for me to straighten my other leg too?" She asked, not completely sure from where she was sitting.

"Hmm?" Setsuna stalls for time, since he hadn't been paying attention and it took a second for her words to register. He considers the situation, and then crosses one of his legs over the other, freeing up some space, "You should be able to now, I think." And he smiles, since she's asking to shift positions, but not to fundamentally change what they're doing.

Kaiya smiled as Setsuna created a solution to the problem that worked quite well. She relaxed her far leg as well, then sighed as it released the tension that had built up over the time they'd been sitting together. "Thanks~" She said, then gave Setsuna a peck on the cheek.

"You're welcome, glad to not have to move much more than that," Setsuna admits -- although how long he'll be comfortable with his legs crossed like this is up for time to tell as well. Now that the seal is broken and they're talking again, he asks casually, "How's school going?"

That admission made Kaiya smile even more. The question, though, brought a much brighter countenance than it had for similar questions at her old school. "It's so great! I have whole classes dedicated just to various art forms! Like, there's the regular art class for basics in drawing, painting, and stuff, but for people wanting to specialize more in a particular area there are painting classes, or sculpting classes, or like for me, there are sketching for fashion classes~ My teacher for sketching is so cool~ Like, she doesn't even look like a teacher! I mean, she tries to look like a teacher, but you can tell she has a bunch of piercings that she's not wearing jewelry in, and I'm pretty sure she has a couple of tattoos... anyway, she's been helping me work on making different models for fashion drawings, different sizes and shapes, and how fabric drapes on body shapes that are different from ones I normally work with."

Setsuna smiles, soaking in that enthusiasm. The way they'd *gotten* to this place wasn't the most pleasant, but he is kind of glad that the result is that he can help pay for Kaiya to get the education she really wants. Deserves, even. "I'm kinda surprised at art school they don't just let her wear her jewelry... sounds fun though."

"I kinda am too, but maybe it's because it's still a high school? Or maybe she just doesn't wear jewelry in those holes as often? I dunno. Guess I'll have to see if she ever wears more stuff in class." Kaiya agreed with a shrug, "My math teacher is great too. He explains things really well, and the math problems in class often have to do with various art streams, like ones for drafting, or sewing, or stuff. It's nice that a lot of it is applicable to us~" Her voice stayed bright and happy as she talked. She moved on to talking about various friends she'd made in her classes, another change in the way she talked about school, and then to some upcoming projects she would be working on over the next few weeks. Everything sounding so much more positive than anything she'd ever said about her prior school experience.

"That's how I got better at math and science - through baking and cooking. That's when it started to make sense," Setsuna agrees, seeing how using those skills in a practical way is much better. Setsuna loves getting to hear her talk about friends, and he has a better chance of meeting her art school friends than her Devillic ones anyways. "Have you hung out with anyone outside of school yet?" He's aware there can be a different level of friendship, the one where you just talk in school, vs where you take it outside the school walls.

"Mmmm... not yet. But! Nakayama-chan asked me to go to a cafe with her and Kitagawa-kun, and a few other people from school, so I'm looking forward to that!" Kaiya had mentioned these two in particular in talking about friends at school. Her first story about Kitagawa had been how her initial introduction to him was him saying 'Hi, I Kitagawa and I'm gay!'. She had found it funny, but also kind of wonderful that he was just so open about it. The fact that he was very attractive, and a lot of girls seemed to sigh over him might have been part of it too, she supposed.

Honestly, it's a good litmus test to weed out anyone who would reject you before you get attached -- as long as you're in a place safe enough to do so, so Setsuna kind of gets it. Kind of, because he's not gay, but bisexuals get a lot of shit sometimes too. "Sounds lovely." And he means it. Kaiya's circle used to be just her and Keiji, then Miko and him got in, then other band members, and now there're all kinds of people.

"Mhm~ It's on Wednesday since no one has any extracurriculars that day. And it'll be nice to get to see people outside school." Kaiya added. For all that what led to her new schooling wasn't exactly great, she really was so much happier. No rules about hair, or uniforms, or piercings... plus teachers and classmates that got her and were like her. And classes that actually seemed worthwhile to her. It was all just better. Plus, no one tried to pump her for details about her boyfriend. They accepted her word that she had one, and also accepted that she didn't want to give details.

"Hmmm," Setsuna considers, trying to remember if he's busy that day or not, before discarding the thought. He would like to meet her friends, but he doesn't want to join in on their first out of school hang out. That should be just for her and them. Since Kaiya doesn't have a lot of experience, he says, "Meeting your friends outside of school for the first time is like taking the next step in the relationship. Like wanting to actively be friends, rather than just comrades who have fun together in school."

"Oh?" Kaiya asked, interested in this perspective on school friendships. "Did you have a lot of friends in school that you would spend time with outside school?" She added, curious about his experiences, especially since she didn't really know any of his friends from earlier in life, other than Mikoto.

"I had a buncha friends from middle school, and we would hang out outside of school -- they're the same ones I ditched in Highschool though." Setsuna has to admit. He knows Kaiya knows the story of his previous friends giving him an ultimatum about not hanging out with the 'weird gay foreigner' and he had stuck by his morals and turned away from such weak friends. "And then Mikoto and I had our bandmates. Still message them sometimes, but I don't remember the last time we hung out. But we hung out in highschool, even if it was mostly practicing."

"Ah...." Yes, Kaiya definitely knew the story about the judgy, ultimatum-giving friends, and she was glad that she had never met them. As for the bandmates... "One of those bandmates was the guy that hurt Miko-chan, right?" She confirmed, knowing for sure that the awful experience had happened *while* the blond was in the band, but a little fuzzy on whether the guy had been *in* the band or not. If he had, though, she had faith that Setsuna was *not* in contact with him anymore.

"Hmm? No, actually he wasn't. Although his influence on Mikoto was what broke up the band in the end. I think the other ex-bandmates aren't super close to Mikoto anymore, which I guess is probably why I haven't put much work into staying close with them," Setsuna admits, definitely putting the pieces together and psychoanalyzing himself as he speaks.

"Ohhhh....... Well I'm glad that he wasn't in the band, I guess, but it sucks that he was the reason the band broke up. Also sad that it affected all your friendships... do you wish that you guys were all closer still? Or.... are you okay that you guys kinda grew apart?" Kaiya was honestly more curious about how high school relationships might, or might not, survive after high school.

Setsuna mulls on the question for a bit, and says, "From what I've heard from other people, it's kinda normal that some high school friendships drift apart, and some last. And I've got... Mikoto that lasted, and the band guys where it's mostly faded. But also my situation is definitely abnormal, because of all that Mikoto went through, and the way I stood up for him and went to bat for him. But... I'd rather have a close friend like Mikoto, who I'd trust with anything, than a bunch of casuals friends."

"Mmmm... I agree with that. I'd rather have one, or a few, close friends than a bunch of casual friends. I hope I find some people like that from school, but if not... well, I have some friends already too." Kaiya mused with a smile. Even without the group of Devillic fans she'd befriended, she already had Mikoto and Naoto, on top of Setsuna. And she also felt friendly with the members of both bands, even if she wouldn't consider them all *friends* just yet. So, even if these high school friends didn't pan out in the end, she would be fine.

"But, even if you suspect that someone is going to be a just for high school friend, and a not a long term one -- that's still awesome, and precious. I have great memories, with my ex bandmates, and even the guys I ditched. Sometimes, that the friendship isn't going to be forever is ok, and good in its own way too," Setsuna adds. All the friendships he's had, whether they'd lasted or not, had been a big part of his life, and brought him fun and good experiences.

Kaiya couldn't help the swell of emotion in her chest while listening to Setsuna talk, and she covered it, even just from herself, but giving his hair, and possibly his ear, another nuzzle. "I'm definitely going to try to enjoy all the friendships and experiences ahead of me. Especially since I really haven't had a lot of friends before now. At least, not ones that stuck."

"Well, some of your friends right now might reveal later that they suck. But you have other friends, so if that happens? It'll suck, but it'll be fine. And you can tell me, or Miko, all about it," Setsuna adds. Some of her friendships now won't work out, but that's just part of life and growing up.

"Mhm. Right now, I'd say my real, real friends are you, and Miko-chan, and Naoto-kun." Kaiya admitted, feeling pretty secure in her feelings on that. Maybe Naoto was a less secure name to put out there, but she really did feel that she connected rather well with the violinist, and she thought that he thought of her as a friend as well. "I do really like the girls that are Devillic fans, but I feel like I connect more with Miyazaki-san and Fujita-san than the rest, even though they're a bit older."

Setsuna's terribly amused that nearly everyone she's named is noticeably older than her and suggests, "I mean, maybe you just jive more easily with more mature people?" Like Naoto's the only real exception there, although he's still older than her. But he's also a giant sweety and Setsuna feels quite close to him too.

"Maybe?" Kaiya agreed, though her voice was more amused, and less unsure. "Sometimes I feel like people my own age are a bit silly. I don't know. Maybe other people think I'm silly too. But I do feel like I understand older people more. Like.... they worry more about real things, and have realistic ideas of what the future could be. I mean, they still have dreams, and hopes, but they're more like goals, instead of wishing for things that would just never be? Does that make sense?" She asked, her chin returning to leaning on Setsuna's shoulder, though she was looking more out toward the opposite wall than over at her boyfriend.

Setsuna nods; given what she's faced in life -- still faces, because while he's sure her and Keiji's financial situation has greatly improved, it's still pretty rough, it does make sense that she's matured faster than she would have usually, and this may feel disconnected from people her age. Probably lots of people at school are just thinking about art for art's sake and haven't started to consider how they would support themselves with their art, whereas she's got plans about that. He nods, "Yeah, it does make sense."

That agreement made Kaiya smile, and she turned her face enough to give Setsuna a peck on the cheek. "Thanks. I'm glad it makes sense." She said, then gave a gentle, happy sigh. "So~ Do you have any other friends you would want me to meet, sometime?" She worded it that way to avoid putting any pressure on the idea. Even with her newly upped age, she knew she could still seem rather young to any friends of an age with her boyfriend.

"Mmm," Setsuna has a soft sigh from the kiss, then is quite amused when he hears Kaiya sigh as well. They're definitely on the same chill vibe at the moment. "I have some childhood friends I keep in touch with, so maybe when we go to Nara.... In Tokyo, you've basically already met everyone, since a lot are either regulars at the restaurant, or work at the restaurant." His nearly alcoholic galavanting time hadn't produced many good close friends, especially once he got dry.

"Ooooh~ That'll be neat. I'll have a lot of people to meet in Nara, I guess." Kaiya mused with a bit of a smile. Thinking about that future day made her both excited and a little nervous, but it wasn't happening just now, so she told herself not to get hung up on being nervous at all. "Mmm... I'm not sure we ever talked about it before... why did you end up going to high school in Tokyo instead of Nara?"

"I mean, I wouldn't say a LOT of people," Setsuna chuckles, since it's not like he has a huge crew. "Hmm, mostly because I wanted to. I wanted to get out, see some things -- at the time it felt like I might end up taking over the family business and I didn't want to.... never get out on my own? Parents were fine with that; although they'd've preferred I stick to Kansai. Kinda just feels like fate at this point though."

"Well, I mean with your friends and your family, it's going to be at least, like, five or six, if not more, right?" Kaiya replied, defending her feeling of 'a lot' of people for her to meet. The explanation of why Setsuna had moved to Tokyo made her smile. "It kinda does. If you'd never moved here, so many things would be different. I wonder what you'd be doing now, if you had stayed in Nara for high school..." Definitely just a mental exercise, as she was very grateful that he *had* moved to Tokyo.

"Hmm, I guess," Setsuna agrees. He hadn't really been counting his family before, and obviously how many people count as 'a lot' is going to vary. Kaiya's family, even counting himself and Miko, stands at 4 people so yeah he could see meeting like 8ish people seemingly like a ton.

"Hmm, dunno. I don't like to dwell on that kind of stuff too much, personally," Setsuna admits. It's way too easy to devour yourself. What if he'd stayed in Nara? What if he'd asked Miko out before Miko asked that douche out, what if he'd somehow saved Miko sooner.... way too many memories to get obsessed over.

"Ooooh.... yeah, I guess." Kaiya responded. She hadn't really thought about it as being a dwelling thing. More like a cute 'what if'. But if it was something that he kind of felt like he had missed out on, even if he was happy with his life now, she could understand him feeling that way. "I guess it's kinda like if I thought about 'what if my mom hadn't died', or something?" She added. Thinking about it that way, she could definitely understand the not wanting to dwell. Things were they way they were, and imagining them otherwise *could* get depressing.

"Yeah, it's kind of like that. Plus, I'm very happy with where I am," while he means this more in the sense of his restaurant, his band, his friends and family, the literal physical position on the couch is quite comfy too, "so it feels weird to try to imagine other options." He says this all lightly though, not wanting her to feel like she'd upset him by asking, or anything.

"Mmm~ I'm glad you're happy with where you are. I'm happy with where you are too." Kaiya agreed, giving Setsuna a squeeze of a hug. "I kinda get that, though: how it might be weird to imagine other ways life could be. I also like where I am now, even if there are lots of ways I might, objectively, wish my life had gone differently. But if they had... I might not be here now. So... yeah, okay, I get it." She concluded, sounding pretty positive, despite what she had been talking about.

"I think it's tempting, especially, to imagine if we'd been able to dodge a lot of the worst things we've been through, but-- that's just part of life. Better to accept it, and try to avoid any more huge rough patches moving forward, as best one can," Setsuna philosophizes, much as he had for most of this reclined conversation, honestly.

"Mmmm~ Yeah, I think you're right." Kaiya agreed. "Though, sometimes rough patches form us for the better?" She added, thinking that even if they had both had some rather rough patches in their pasts, they had both come through as pretty great people.

Setsuna nods, "It's... hard to talk about. Because sometimes that's true. But some people come out worse for it. Who knows what the people who've hurt us may have gone through. Yes, we came out as great people; but someone else who went through the same things we did may have not done so."

He suddenly realizes two things. One: What an amazing conversation, no one listening to them would realize the age gap, he's sure.
Two: what a funny way to have a deep conversation, basically using his girlfriend's ample chest as a cushion.