Heroism

Aug 08, 2006 20:12

What is the idea of being a hero? I have had conversations about a superman complex, the idea of wanting to save people being a complusion. But what is it really? I rarely am touched by a tv show. Lately I have been watching this show called Saved. Its about Paramedics, I said once it is what er should be. I think I was wrong. This show depicts what Medics and EMT's do on a daily basis. It uses true tragedy to capitalize on Drama. Now I see how that could be construed as a negative thing but that is life. I have people ask me why I went and got my EMT cert. Maybe it was my own personal superman complex. But the more I think about it lately it boils down to a feeling of helplessness. I figure this the feeling of being around someone injured or in danger of death. You can't help them. Why? Because you don't have the knowledge. That to me is a scary thought. I never will be an expert on any subject, I strive to know enough to get by. Thats all life is, a series of things we have to get by and survive. I am not sure where this post is going, but I need to get this thought process into focus. Heroism. I think is a result, not the goal. People risk their lives to save people they don't even know, why is that? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that they can. You would want to be saved if someone had the power to do it, wouldn't you? Doctor's dedicate their lives to helping others. Maybe what's realy bothering me is the fact that my life is at a point I have been at before. I hate the feeling that I am not contributing. This has caused me to go out and do things in the past, ie. quit my job, get an EMT cert, go back to tri-mount...etc I feel like I have reached that point again. I know now that, the other steps have been temporary fixes. I have a vacation coming up..yey Vegas and Star Trek convention. I need to take some serious alone time to figure out what will fill this hole. I think it has to do with knowing my life doesn't benefit anyone. I am a retail manager. A job any idiot with the ability to time manage could do. And truthfully many idiots without that skill, manage just fine. I got the EMT cert, but what did I use it for? I bandaged some kids at a summer camp?

Insert my mother just called and my family seems to go out of their way to plan family events when I am not around...Should that tell me something?

Back to the topic at hand fulfillment, everyone finds theirs in their own way. I need to find mine.. . so begins the quest..
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