(no subject)
Hi. I can't sleep. I think I'm an insomniac.
But nights are great. For thinking. I have to have plenty of alone time...time away from my friends, my family. And I never get it. So perhaps the reason I'm always awake at night is my brain telling my body that I need more time to myself. Sleep is wasteful, anyway. Why did God feel like he had to take time to recharge us daily, anyway? We're not batteries.
I talked to a bunch of SHSU people tonight in a chat. Incoming freshman and some older people. I liked them, but then again, I haven't really met them. I only met a few people I liked at orientation. What if my standards are too high? I am such a snob.
I wonder how college will change me. Am I going to be a party animal? Somehow, I just don't see that happening. I guess no one ever strays too far from their roots, or if they do, they always come back eventually. I'll probably be the same as I am now with a few minor adjustments. That depresses me in a way. I wish I could be a completely different person every day. I want to experience everything but it's impossible. I'll only get a tiny taste of life.
I went to Walmart and painted my nails this really cool color. They are beautiful!
I'm so restless! I need out of this house. I guess it's kind of dangerous to go for a walk at 3am, though, isn't it? Even in this small town. Danger...sometimes I think I live in a little bubble. And nothing can touch me. Because nothing really has so far, and I only know what I've experienced. Two days ago I found out this lady in my town (my parents knew her) died. From skydiving. How strange is that? Everyone always tells you skydiving is risky and dangerous but you don't really listen. 'Sure, it's dangerous! Dangerous enough to give me that thrill. But nothing would really ever happen to me.' So now I have an excuse forever to not go skydiving. I am such a chicken. But now I don't feel so bad about being a chicken.
Ahhh. The worst thing about not being able to sleep tonight is the fact that I can't take Tylenol PM! Tylenol PM is my savior but I'm not letting myself take it tonight. I had a killer headache this afternoon and I took 2 tylenol and 2 advil. That is quite enough medication for moi.
Don't you wish you could just snap your fingers and take on a different lifestyle? And a different way of looking at things? Or maybe even get people to look at you a different way. I would love to be thought of as mysterious. But it'd get old after awhile.
But nights are great. For thinking. I have to have plenty of alone time...time away from my friends, my family. And I never get it. So perhaps the reason I'm always awake at night is my brain telling my body that I need more time to myself. Sleep is wasteful, anyway. Why did God feel like he had to take time to recharge us daily, anyway? We're not batteries.
I talked to a bunch of SHSU people tonight in a chat. Incoming freshman and some older people. I liked them, but then again, I haven't really met them. I only met a few people I liked at orientation. What if my standards are too high? I am such a snob.
I wonder how college will change me. Am I going to be a party animal? Somehow, I just don't see that happening. I guess no one ever strays too far from their roots, or if they do, they always come back eventually. I'll probably be the same as I am now with a few minor adjustments. That depresses me in a way. I wish I could be a completely different person every day. I want to experience everything but it's impossible. I'll only get a tiny taste of life.
I went to Walmart and painted my nails this really cool color. They are beautiful!
I'm so restless! I need out of this house. I guess it's kind of dangerous to go for a walk at 3am, though, isn't it? Even in this small town. Danger...sometimes I think I live in a little bubble. And nothing can touch me. Because nothing really has so far, and I only know what I've experienced. Two days ago I found out this lady in my town (my parents knew her) died. From skydiving. How strange is that? Everyone always tells you skydiving is risky and dangerous but you don't really listen. 'Sure, it's dangerous! Dangerous enough to give me that thrill. But nothing would really ever happen to me.' So now I have an excuse forever to not go skydiving. I am such a chicken. But now I don't feel so bad about being a chicken.
Ahhh. The worst thing about not being able to sleep tonight is the fact that I can't take Tylenol PM! Tylenol PM is my savior but I'm not letting myself take it tonight. I had a killer headache this afternoon and I took 2 tylenol and 2 advil. That is quite enough medication for moi.
Don't you wish you could just snap your fingers and take on a different lifestyle? And a different way of looking at things? Or maybe even get people to look at you a different way. I would love to be thought of as mysterious. But it'd get old after awhile.