Can I Have This Dance
“Jongin! Jongin!” he said with an exasperated gesture, trying to mask his fear as he clung onto the dimmed part of the hallway. He was trying not to shout because he couldn’t further risk the chance of getting caught. The gray beams of the moon that lazily hung over the roof of their dormitory were trapped by the quaint glass container that dangled on his neck.
“Ah, are you scared now, Kyungsoo?” The twelve-year-old Jongin said with a complacent smirk plastered on his face. He tiptoed to his companion, dutifully staying by his side as he promised. “Well, Mr. Lee will kill me if he finds out I brought you here at night. You should be resting.”
“Didn’t I tell you to stay by my side no matter what? And didn’t I tell you to call me hyung? And didn’t I-”
“Look at this! Look! I opened the dance studio with my room key! Isn’t that cool? I am so amazing! I knew I should hold on to my philosophies!”
“Oh, Jongin, what has that got to do with you opening the door with your key? Maybe every door here has the same set of keys.”
“No, no. I believe-”
“I don’t care about your stupid life philosophies. Let’s go in before Mr. Lee stops us midway!”
They walked inside slowly with Kyungsoo closing the door behind him silently. A slosh of relief washed over them when they stepped inside. The studio was twice the size of any ordinary room. The walls were splashed with gigantic mirrors; each reflected the happiness and nervousness in their faces both at the same time.
Jongin treaded to the center of the room and started to do a few arabesques with a satisfied smile. Kyungsoo just stood beside the threshold and watched his friend, heart suddenly fluttering with every stolen glance. He found himself sitting in front of the grand piano after a few moments, his hands automatically finding the right keys for the right notes as he played Frederic Chopin’s Nocturne. His dad had thought him how to play one, being a pianist and his mom being a violinist. Jongin had always pointed out that he had this certain look in his eyes when he put his delicate fingers onto white keys.
“You are doing it again, hyung,” Jongin said suddenly, interrupting his thoughts about his unrequited love for music. “You are being swallowed by the music you’re playing.”
“I love music as much as you love ballet, Kim Jongin.”
“I’ll dance, then, and you’ll play.” The younger man replied, trying to swallow the lump forming in his throat.
Kyungsoo didn’t see the tears in the former’s eyes as he fingered the piano once again, while Jongin danced to slow ballet.
/
The wisps of smoke from ancient wood and burning fabric flooded his dreams for the umpteenth time. A broken cry escaped his chapped lips as his heart thudded with fear and apprehension. The fire from the curtains in their room was spreading like dusts floating around in a summer afternoon, scattering and growing larger. He jumped out of bed to run to Jongin but as soon as the wooden floorboard met his soles, the flames began to eat him up. He was drowning in flames that he could not even feel at all.
He woke up with a series of strangled yells and breathless gasps as he sat up on their bed, the feeling of the concrete walls finally closing him in with the warmth of the person beside him. The steel hand on his sternum had gone away, as if there was a magical creature that swatted it off.
“Hyung, calm down. You were having a nightmare. Was it the orphanage again?” Jongin asked, voice tinted with concern and sadness. Kyungsoo could not make out the features of the boy’s face because of the dimness of the environment but he could feel the heat of the sand bottle on his neck. It was a gift from him way back from their 8th birthday. Jongin noted that he sneaked out the night before their birthdays just to get sand from the shore miles away from the orphanage.
“Yes,” he nodded, beads of sweat gathered around his nape and forehead. He buried his face on the other’s chest and his breathing set off to being normal again. There was a pain in his own chest that he had been ignoring since forever; heart continuing to suck at being his heart. “Distract me.” He said.
“I met our new neighbor this morning,” he tried, drawing small circles on his back. “Her name is Jung Soojung. She’s nice and friendly. She has this smile that glows. Lights up the dark, actually. She also promised to make us some bulgogi for lunch tomorrow. Insisted that you’re great at cooking, though. Well, she just shrugged it off.”
“Is she beautiful?”
“Um, she is.”
/
Preparing the ingredients for his specialty, kimchi spaghetti, was never hard for Do Kyungsoo. He knew it like the back of Jongin’s palm. He was rummaging through the cabinets for the jar of salt when he felt strong hands wrapping around his waist; low sounds of appreciation and love escaping Jongin’s lips.
“Jongin,” he said with a gasp and a chortle at the same time. “You almost made me have a heart failure!” He froze as he sensed the younger tense up at the words he uttered thoughtlessly. He shut his eyes, momentarily thinking of a solution for the sudden tension that rose up in thin air.
“Hyung,” Jongin sighed onto the older’s neck. “You shouldn’t say those type of things. It’s so-”
"Disgusting? Disappointing? Makes me so pitiful?" he tried with a hoarse laugh; small surges of pain crashed his heart harshly.
"Stop, hyung. It's not funny." Jongin finally pulled away and Kyungsoo turned to look at the former just in time to see the ghost of sadness brimming in his eyes. Jongin's heart was deteriorating just like Kyungsoo's. He knew it wouldn't be that long and it was torturing him in the worst ways. When they were still children, the doctor had already pointed it out that Kyungsoo would not be able to reach his 20th birthday. It was only a matter of time before the 12th of January and the tiny bubble of distressing desire and agony in his chest were growing steadfast. The once constant rhythm of his life was gradually changing because of Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo indeed changed Jongin's life in the best way he could imagine, though. He had made a note at the very back of his mind that everything in their life was too shallow and temporary but he was still not ready to fully accept the truth that would break both of them apart.
Kyungsoo was his lungs and he wasn't ready to let go yet.
/
“Were you with Soojung? I knew it. I knew I shouldn’t have let you get acquainted with her.” Kyungsoo told him, bitterness already swallowing the affection and amiability in the air.
“Good Lord, we just had a nice cup of coffee at her flat and talked about things.” Jongin bluntly replied with a wave of his hand; a motion of finishing the conversation about such trivial things. He wasn’t really in the mood to talk about this sort. He was spent and fed up with Soojung the whole night.
“A girl who likes a certain boy invites him for a cup of coffee over her flat for the whole night? What do you think of me, huh? My heart may not be functioning well but my brain is utterly fine! I am not that stupid!” the older cried out, his hands tightening into a fist on his sides. He never got this angry to Jongin since their childhood.
“Think what you like to think! I told you we just had coffee.”
“Oh, perhaps that’s the reason you smelled like her perfume and you’re getting back to smoking!”
“I am tired of this bullshit, Kyungsoo! I am so tired of you being jealous all the while! I also need someone to take care of me, you know! I am so tired of being the one in charge of taking care of you!” Jongin suddenly shouted, his eyes red from the smoke and the alcohol.
“You- You’re not sober, Jongin. You need a little rest. I’ll get you some warm water and go change your clothes. I’ll prepare you dinner.” Kyungsoo’s eyes were widening with the former’s unexpected outburst. Jongin wasn’t normally like this and Kyungsoo didn’t know he had this side.
“Oh, fuck it! I don’t need a stupid rest! I am so fucking tired of having my life dedicated to you! Fuck, I just made one mistake and everything is fucking falling apart!”
“I’m sorry. I'm really sorry. You can’t blame me for-”
“Can’t blame you for what? Being a childish bastard and all?”
“Soojung said she likes you. Of course, I would’ve reacted this way! If Chan-”
"Don't even bother bringing that up! This is about us!"
"Are you even sure this is about us? I am the one who has always been there for you, not Soojung! Look, let's not fight now-"
“My heart has always screamed for your name. And every time it does, I can't help but think of the future laid ahead before us, before me. When time finally consumes our love, I don't want to stand back and watch as the world continues to revolve around me. It's just so tiring to know that you will cease to exist. I'm so tired, Kyungsoo. I'm sorry. I've always thought love will keep me going. I'm wrong, Kyungsoo. We both are."
Kyungsoo nodded and forced a smile to slip on his pale face. He got it and he didn't dream of someone who would accept him - his condition mainly - in the first place. Having Jongin for more than ten years was enough. He should consider himself lucky because chances of meeting someone like this man were very little. His grip on the hem of his shirt tightened while the painful seconds lapsed by and began to stab him like knives full of rust, injecting his body with tiny sparks of tetanus. The pieces of the jigsaw puzzle were suddenly clicking into place one by one as they shove and bore holes onto Kyungsoo's core. He walked slowly out of their apartment, still silently praying that Jongin would eventually take back what he said.
"You deserve someone better, Jongin. I'm sorry for being like this. I didn't know I was being a burden. Thank you for pointing it out." he whispered and gulped down all the things that hurt, wishing for it to be undone.
Their love was failing them, unfortunately.
/
It was the longest walk of his life. He was wincing because of the invisible pipes buried deep inside him. As the physical anguish ate him up, his chapped lips were beginning to part and his legs quivered while it made him move feebly. He held onto the lampposts for support, wind blowing against his face brutally. Dizzy eyesight and erratic heartbeats almost impeccably drove him insane. He found himself helplessly hauling his body to the ruins of the orphanage, clammy hands feeling their way through the shards of glass and rotting wood. He nearly crawled to the grand piano as it nestled on the heart of the foster home. Upon pressing his fingers awkwardly on the piano keys, he started playing a piece only he would know, a music he composed for the love of his life. He didn't know he was crying until droplets of tears began falling on the dirty surface of the instrument, immediately painting blotches of white amidst the layers of dust and ashes.
The sun was about to set when he stopped. At that moment, what he felt was the precise epitome of death. The torment was transformed into numbness. Albeit the unfathomable fact about his life was the pain, the most difficult to bear was Jongin's departure.
Pouring his heart out, he slammed his fist on the piano as everything left him behind.
/
“Kyungsoo, please. Don’t do this to me. Remember our promises and dreams and-”
The small growling sound of the machine was deafening against the silent buzz of the air and the pleading voice. The familiar white walls choked him as he sat on the bed, trying to clear the vertigo from the sudden movement. He looked at the person beside him with interest. He remembered the voice. No one would ever make him forget the tone and its accent. The smile on his features was almost planted permanently, until he heard another voice.
“Oh, thank goodness, Kyungsoo! You’re awake!” Soojung exclaimed with a sigh of relief. His head snapped to the girl alongside Jongin and managed to suppress a dark laugh. He bit his lips to prevent himself from saying anything. He didn’t want Jongin to think that he was that into him and he’s desperate to have him. He was dying and all he wished was a dance with the love his life.
“Why did you have to do that, hyung? Didn’t you know I was so worried?” Jongin asked, concern masking his voice.
“Why do you have to care?” he responded bitterly and tugged on the cables that were fastened to his chest and arms. The younger boy managed a gasp as he remained frozen on his feet.
“Kyungsoo, oh God, stop! Jongin, do something!”
“Shut up, Jung Soojung.” Kyungsoo barked at her, earning a glare from Jongin. He stood up from his bed and grabbed a jacket from the couch. He marched out of his room and only halted to pay his hospital bills. He wasn’t really getting high wages from the auditing firm but it was fine for a person who’s alone.
“Hyung,” Jongin nearly cried out as he ran after him. He gripped the older’s arm and spun him around. “Really, hyung, why are you doing this?”
“We’re done, right? And, really, Kim Jongin, why do you care?”
“What- No. That’s not true.”
“You’re tired, you said. You thought love was enough, you said.”
“Hyung, don’t. Stop this. Don’t forget your will! You still have that will on your pocket! I made sure that the nurses didn’t remove it.”
A hand flew on Kyungsoo’s pocket and picked up the scrap of paper inside it. Not bothering to spread it open, he crumpled it as he tossed it in the garbage can beside him. Jongin’s abrupt intake of breathe was the only thing audible in the noisy lobby of the hospital. As if everything stopped in the world, he dared to look at the younger in the eyes.
“Why, hyung? Are you giving up? You’re the only philosophy that I believe in. You promised me you’d never leave.”
“Promise? Yes, Jongin. I can clearly remember. I guess I won’t be sticking to our promises. Though I pretty much believe that you're the first to give up, I wonder what happened that made you go after me." He replied and exhaled loudly, glancing away.
"Hyung, it was the alcohol. I don't even remember half of what I said. Someone from the neighborhood called me and said that you're in here. I thought you'd leave me."
"I was so sure I wanted to end my life a long time ago."
“You’ll see me dance in the national television.”
“I wish I could. Can I see you dance, Jongin? I want to remember you as the boy who danced.”
/
An old, abandoned opera house was the place they went to. It was dark and lonely, the exact setting for a sad motive. Kyungsoo limped onto the stage with a grunt, one hand clutching his chest as he caught his breath. Jongin had his hands on the older’s shoulders. His watchful stare grazed Kyungsoo’s mind and heart, momentarily making him dizzy.
“To see Jongin dance happily onstage,” Jongin breathed softly against the other’s ear. He was stating Kyungsoo’s will with a distant smile.
“I will be most delighted to see you dance happily before I die.” The other replied quietly as his voice cracked in the silence that was eating them whole.
“Hyung!” Jongin practically yelled. “You shouldn’t say that!”
Kyungsoo sauntered towards the grand piano peacefully. He sat without a word and began to play Yiruma's Time Forgets while Jongin bit his lips to prevent his tears from falling. Jongin started the dance with a twirl and a few sways of his arms in time to Kyungsoo's music.
Tears decorated his features, making him sparkle in the faint lightings of the stage. Sweat mixed with sadness and he did another movement, the kind of swing that gave the illusion as if he was flying. He broke away from everything that was holding him in. He danced for his lover who's bound to die. He shouted Kyungsoo's name before he threw himself off the edge of sanity and dancing.
Alas, Jongin didn't stop dancing even if the music was long gone.
//
“Ah, are you scared now, Kyungsoo?” The twelve-year-old Jongin said with a complacent smirk plastered on his face. He tiptoed to his companion, dutifully staying by his side as he promised. “Well, Mr. Lee will kill me if he finds out I brought you here at night. You should be resting.”
“Didn’t I tell you to stay by my side no matter what? And didn’t I tell you to call me hyung? And didn’t I-”
“Look at this! Look! I opened the dance studio with my room key! Isn’t that cool? I am so amazing! I knew I should hold on to my philosophies!”
“Oh, Jongin, what has that got to do with you opening the door with your key? Maybe every door here has the same set of keys.”
“No, no. I believe-”
“I don’t care about your stupid life philosophies. Let’s go in before Mr. Lee stops us midway!”
They walked inside slowly with Kyungsoo closing the door behind him silently. A slosh of relief washed over them when they stepped inside. The studio was twice the size of any ordinary room. The walls were splashed with gigantic mirrors; each reflected the happiness and nervousness in their faces both at the same time.
Jongin treaded to the center of the room and started to do a few arabesques with a satisfied smile. Kyungsoo just stood beside the threshold and watched his friend, heart suddenly fluttering with every stolen glance. He found himself sitting in front of the grand piano after a few moments, his hands automatically finding the right keys for the right notes as he played Frederic Chopin’s Nocturne. His dad had thought him how to play one, being a pianist and his mom being a violinist. Jongin had always pointed out that he had this certain look in his eyes when he put his delicate fingers onto white keys.
“You are doing it again, hyung,” Jongin said suddenly, interrupting his thoughts about his unrequited love for music. “You are being swallowed by the music you’re playing.”
“I love music as much as you love ballet, Kim Jongin.”
“I’ll dance, then, and you’ll play.” The younger man replied, trying to swallow the lump forming in his throat.
Kyungsoo didn’t see the tears in the former’s eyes as he fingered the piano once again, while Jongin danced to slow ballet.
/
The wisps of smoke from ancient wood and burning fabric flooded his dreams for the umpteenth time. A broken cry escaped his chapped lips as his heart thudded with fear and apprehension. The fire from the curtains in their room was spreading like dusts floating around in a summer afternoon, scattering and growing larger. He jumped out of bed to run to Jongin but as soon as the wooden floorboard met his soles, the flames began to eat him up. He was drowning in flames that he could not even feel at all.
He woke up with a series of strangled yells and breathless gasps as he sat up on their bed, the feeling of the concrete walls finally closing him in with the warmth of the person beside him. The steel hand on his sternum had gone away, as if there was a magical creature that swatted it off.
“Hyung, calm down. You were having a nightmare. Was it the orphanage again?” Jongin asked, voice tinted with concern and sadness. Kyungsoo could not make out the features of the boy’s face because of the dimness of the environment but he could feel the heat of the sand bottle on his neck. It was a gift from him way back from their 8th birthday. Jongin noted that he sneaked out the night before their birthdays just to get sand from the shore miles away from the orphanage.
“Yes,” he nodded, beads of sweat gathered around his nape and forehead. He buried his face on the other’s chest and his breathing set off to being normal again. There was a pain in his own chest that he had been ignoring since forever; heart continuing to suck at being his heart. “Distract me.” He said.
“I met our new neighbor this morning,” he tried, drawing small circles on his back. “Her name is Jung Soojung. She’s nice and friendly. She has this smile that glows. Lights up the dark, actually. She also promised to make us some bulgogi for lunch tomorrow. Insisted that you’re great at cooking, though. Well, she just shrugged it off.”
“Is she beautiful?”
“Um, she is.”
/
Preparing the ingredients for his specialty, kimchi spaghetti, was never hard for Do Kyungsoo. He knew it like the back of Jongin’s palm. He was rummaging through the cabinets for the jar of salt when he felt strong hands wrapping around his waist; low sounds of appreciation and love escaping Jongin’s lips.
“Jongin,” he said with a gasp and a chortle at the same time. “You almost made me have a heart failure!” He froze as he sensed the younger tense up at the words he uttered thoughtlessly. He shut his eyes, momentarily thinking of a solution for the sudden tension that rose up in thin air.
“Hyung,” Jongin sighed onto the older’s neck. “You shouldn’t say those type of things. It’s so-”
"Disgusting? Disappointing? Makes me so pitiful?" he tried with a hoarse laugh; small surges of pain crashed his heart harshly.
"Stop, hyung. It's not funny." Jongin finally pulled away and Kyungsoo turned to look at the former just in time to see the ghost of sadness brimming in his eyes. Jongin's heart was deteriorating just like Kyungsoo's. He knew it wouldn't be that long and it was torturing him in the worst ways. When they were still children, the doctor had already pointed it out that Kyungsoo would not be able to reach his 20th birthday. It was only a matter of time before the 12th of January and the tiny bubble of distressing desire and agony in his chest were growing steadfast. The once constant rhythm of his life was gradually changing because of Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo indeed changed Jongin's life in the best way he could imagine, though. He had made a note at the very back of his mind that everything in their life was too shallow and temporary but he was still not ready to fully accept the truth that would break both of them apart.
Kyungsoo was his lungs and he wasn't ready to let go yet.
/
“Were you with Soojung? I knew it. I knew I shouldn’t have let you get acquainted with her.” Kyungsoo told him, bitterness already swallowing the affection and amiability in the air.
“Good Lord, we just had a nice cup of coffee at her flat and talked about things.” Jongin bluntly replied with a wave of his hand; a motion of finishing the conversation about such trivial things. He wasn’t really in the mood to talk about this sort. He was spent and fed up with Soojung the whole night.
“A girl who likes a certain boy invites him for a cup of coffee over her flat for the whole night? What do you think of me, huh? My heart may not be functioning well but my brain is utterly fine! I am not that stupid!” the older cried out, his hands tightening into a fist on his sides. He never got this angry to Jongin since their childhood.
“Think what you like to think! I told you we just had coffee.”
“Oh, perhaps that’s the reason you smelled like her perfume and you’re getting back to smoking!”
“I am tired of this bullshit, Kyungsoo! I am so tired of you being jealous all the while! I also need someone to take care of me, you know! I am so tired of being the one in charge of taking care of you!” Jongin suddenly shouted, his eyes red from the smoke and the alcohol.
“You- You’re not sober, Jongin. You need a little rest. I’ll get you some warm water and go change your clothes. I’ll prepare you dinner.” Kyungsoo’s eyes were widening with the former’s unexpected outburst. Jongin wasn’t normally like this and Kyungsoo didn’t know he had this side.
“Oh, fuck it! I don’t need a stupid rest! I am so fucking tired of having my life dedicated to you! Fuck, I just made one mistake and everything is fucking falling apart!”
“I’m sorry. I'm really sorry. You can’t blame me for-”
“Can’t blame you for what? Being a childish bastard and all?”
“Soojung said she likes you. Of course, I would’ve reacted this way! If Chan-”
"Don't even bother bringing that up! This is about us!"
"Are you even sure this is about us? I am the one who has always been there for you, not Soojung! Look, let's not fight now-"
“My heart has always screamed for your name. And every time it does, I can't help but think of the future laid ahead before us, before me. When time finally consumes our love, I don't want to stand back and watch as the world continues to revolve around me. It's just so tiring to know that you will cease to exist. I'm so tired, Kyungsoo. I'm sorry. I've always thought love will keep me going. I'm wrong, Kyungsoo. We both are."
Kyungsoo nodded and forced a smile to slip on his pale face. He got it and he didn't dream of someone who would accept him - his condition mainly - in the first place. Having Jongin for more than ten years was enough. He should consider himself lucky because chances of meeting someone like this man were very little. His grip on the hem of his shirt tightened while the painful seconds lapsed by and began to stab him like knives full of rust, injecting his body with tiny sparks of tetanus. The pieces of the jigsaw puzzle were suddenly clicking into place one by one as they shove and bore holes onto Kyungsoo's core. He walked slowly out of their apartment, still silently praying that Jongin would eventually take back what he said.
"You deserve someone better, Jongin. I'm sorry for being like this. I didn't know I was being a burden. Thank you for pointing it out." he whispered and gulped down all the things that hurt, wishing for it to be undone.
Their love was failing them, unfortunately.
/
It was the longest walk of his life. He was wincing because of the invisible pipes buried deep inside him. As the physical anguish ate him up, his chapped lips were beginning to part and his legs quivered while it made him move feebly. He held onto the lampposts for support, wind blowing against his face brutally. Dizzy eyesight and erratic heartbeats almost impeccably drove him insane. He found himself helplessly hauling his body to the ruins of the orphanage, clammy hands feeling their way through the shards of glass and rotting wood. He nearly crawled to the grand piano as it nestled on the heart of the foster home. Upon pressing his fingers awkwardly on the piano keys, he started playing a piece only he would know, a music he composed for the love of his life. He didn't know he was crying until droplets of tears began falling on the dirty surface of the instrument, immediately painting blotches of white amidst the layers of dust and ashes.
The sun was about to set when he stopped. At that moment, what he felt was the precise epitome of death. The torment was transformed into numbness. Albeit the unfathomable fact about his life was the pain, the most difficult to bear was Jongin's departure.
Pouring his heart out, he slammed his fist on the piano as everything left him behind.
/
“Kyungsoo, please. Don’t do this to me. Remember our promises and dreams and-”
The small growling sound of the machine was deafening against the silent buzz of the air and the pleading voice. The familiar white walls choked him as he sat on the bed, trying to clear the vertigo from the sudden movement. He looked at the person beside him with interest. He remembered the voice. No one would ever make him forget the tone and its accent. The smile on his features was almost planted permanently, until he heard another voice.
“Oh, thank goodness, Kyungsoo! You’re awake!” Soojung exclaimed with a sigh of relief. His head snapped to the girl alongside Jongin and managed to suppress a dark laugh. He bit his lips to prevent himself from saying anything. He didn’t want Jongin to think that he was that into him and he’s desperate to have him. He was dying and all he wished was a dance with the love his life.
“Why did you have to do that, hyung? Didn’t you know I was so worried?” Jongin asked, concern masking his voice.
“Why do you have to care?” he responded bitterly and tugged on the cables that were fastened to his chest and arms. The younger boy managed a gasp as he remained frozen on his feet.
“Kyungsoo, oh God, stop! Jongin, do something!”
“Shut up, Jung Soojung.” Kyungsoo barked at her, earning a glare from Jongin. He stood up from his bed and grabbed a jacket from the couch. He marched out of his room and only halted to pay his hospital bills. He wasn’t really getting high wages from the auditing firm but it was fine for a person who’s alone.
“Hyung,” Jongin nearly cried out as he ran after him. He gripped the older’s arm and spun him around. “Really, hyung, why are you doing this?”
“We’re done, right? And, really, Kim Jongin, why do you care?”
“What- No. That’s not true.”
“You’re tired, you said. You thought love was enough, you said.”
“Hyung, don’t. Stop this. Don’t forget your will! You still have that will on your pocket! I made sure that the nurses didn’t remove it.”
A hand flew on Kyungsoo’s pocket and picked up the scrap of paper inside it. Not bothering to spread it open, he crumpled it as he tossed it in the garbage can beside him. Jongin’s abrupt intake of breathe was the only thing audible in the noisy lobby of the hospital. As if everything stopped in the world, he dared to look at the younger in the eyes.
“Why, hyung? Are you giving up? You’re the only philosophy that I believe in. You promised me you’d never leave.”
“Promise? Yes, Jongin. I can clearly remember. I guess I won’t be sticking to our promises. Though I pretty much believe that you're the first to give up, I wonder what happened that made you go after me." He replied and exhaled loudly, glancing away.
"Hyung, it was the alcohol. I don't even remember half of what I said. Someone from the neighborhood called me and said that you're in here. I thought you'd leave me."
"I was so sure I wanted to end my life a long time ago."
“You’ll see me dance in the national television.”
“I wish I could. Can I see you dance, Jongin? I want to remember you as the boy who danced.”
/
An old, abandoned opera house was the place they went to. It was dark and lonely, the exact setting for a sad motive. Kyungsoo limped onto the stage with a grunt, one hand clutching his chest as he caught his breath. Jongin had his hands on the older’s shoulders. His watchful stare grazed Kyungsoo’s mind and heart, momentarily making him dizzy.
“To see Jongin dance happily onstage,” Jongin breathed softly against the other’s ear. He was stating Kyungsoo’s will with a distant smile.
“I will be most delighted to see you dance happily before I die.” The other replied quietly as his voice cracked in the silence that was eating them whole.
“Hyung!” Jongin practically yelled. “You shouldn’t say that!”
Kyungsoo sauntered towards the grand piano peacefully. He sat without a word and began to play Yiruma's Time Forgets while Jongin bit his lips to prevent his tears from falling. Jongin started the dance with a twirl and a few sways of his arms in time to Kyungsoo's music.
Tears decorated his features, making him sparkle in the faint lightings of the stage. Sweat mixed with sadness and he did another movement, the kind of swing that gave the illusion as if he was flying. He broke away from everything that was holding him in. He danced for his lover who's bound to die. He shouted Kyungsoo's name before he threw himself off the edge of sanity and dancing.
Alas, Jongin didn't stop dancing even if the music was long gone.
//