[Fanfic] A Beautiful Mess (Chapter Twenty Three)
Okay, first things first. When I first constructed this story on my head, I divided it to three big parts. The first part ended on chapter 18 (it took longer than what I initially planned), we are nearing the end of the second part and I was thinking if I should end it there. Because after thinking about it, the third part is really depressing and angsty. :( As I said in the author's note, this is inspired by the song "Back To December", the truth is, only the latter part of the second part and the entire third part is based on the song. If you guys are familiar with the song (hear it here, if you haven't yet ^^), its about a girl, apologizing to someone for a lesson that she learned too late. Depressing, right? :p
I'm still debating on my head on whether to write the third part or not. It's going to be really dramatic and angsty. :) What do you, my lovely readers, think?? :D
This will end soon. :(
As always, this is unbeta-ed, so tell me if you spotted any mistakes or errors. Comments, suggestions, reactions and criticisms are gladly welcomed. Happy reading! :D
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
He dialed her number for the gazillionth time and all he heard was that familiar voice recording telling him that the number is out of reach. He tossed his phone on the table in front of him before groaning with frustration. He’s been hearing those words for the past three days.
He also tried coming over to her apartment last night and even camping out her door but no one is answering inside. He wondered what went wrong that she suddenly seem like avoiding him.
“Maybe she’s busy.” Ohno is the first one to speak after the four members of Arashi witnessed a grouchy Matsumoto Jun.
He was in a bad mood since he entered this recording studio and he can’t even focus on the songs they are singing that they’ve been stuck on one song for over two hours now.
Jun looks up to see Ohno sitting beside him. “For three days, her cell phone is turned off and she’s not home... I’m worried.”
Yes. He’s worried that maybe something bad happened to her but he’s more worried about the fact that she’s dodging him. He has this strong feeling that this is about him.
“If something bad happened to Izumi Yana, trust me, the whole world will know right away.” Sho joins in.
“That’s why I think that this is about me.” Jun answered knowingly. “She’s avoiding me and I have no idea why.”
“Well, that’s easy, Matsujun.” Aiba said with confidence and the four guys awaited his next words. “Maybe Yana-chan finally realized what she needed to realize from the start.”
The five guys exchanged glances, considering that theory by Aiba.
“But why does she go into hiding?” Ohno wondered.
“Because Yana is a stubborn little brat.” Nino finally spoke. “She doesn’t like complications, you know. She tends to escape on her issues.”
“So what do I need to do?” Jun is totally and utterly confused right now. His mind is not functioning no matter how he asks it to work.
“Are you really asking us that question?” Aiba mockingly said. “You can be so dense, Matsujun.” He shakes his head while clicking his tongue. Jun is fighting the urge to slap this baka in the head really hard.
“I think what Aiba-kun is trying to say is that you need to start making a move now, Matsujun.” Sho puts in lightly as he laughs at Aiba trying to stay all smug at his bright discovery.
“I don’t know where to start. I don’t even know where she is.” Jun lets out a frustrated sigh.
“Have you tried asking Eri-chan of her whereabouts?” Nino asked.
Jun shoots a look at Nino before he break into a reserved smile. “I haven’t and you’re genius for thinking about Eri-chan.” To be honest, his mind is full of Yana that he stopped thinking about other people.
Jun picks up his phone and Nino smiled conceitedly while saluting at him.
“Problem is, I don’t have Eri-chan’s number.” Jun looks up at Nino, wishing that he has her number.
“I have it, I’ll send it to you.” Nino offered while picking up his phone from his jeans pocket.
“Nino, why do you have her number?” Aiba wondered as he giggled on his seat.
“Baka! It’s not what you think!” Nino told him off and finally, there’s a trace of smile on Jun’s face.
“I’m just asking!” Aiba retaliates. “It’s just a curious question.” He mumbled on a lower tone.
“By the way, are you still dating that model?” Sho suddenly asked and Nino is not ready to shift the topic to his dating matters.
“Yeah, it’s still the same, nothing serious, we’re not exclusive.” Nino answers nonchalantly.
“It’s really interesting when people say that they are not exclusive, what’s the difference?” Here goes Aiba again with his curious questions.
“That’s true.” Ohno backs up Aiba after receiving odd looks from the two members who are currently in a ‘not exclusive’ relationship. “Eventually, one of you will start feeling something else. It will come to a point where the other will get emotionally attached.”
“Actually, I think people wouldn’t engage into something physical without having the mutual attraction for each other, so from the start they are taking the risk of falling in love, right?” Sho sided with Aiba and Ohno.
“Why are we suddenly talking about this?” Jun raised his eyebrow.
“Take Matsujun, for example.” Sho continued, totally ignoring Jun.
“Don’t involve me into this!” Jun stood up, laughing while taking the phone to his ear and exiting the recording studio.
“What I’m only trying to say is that why take a more difficult and complicated route when you can just go straight to it.” Sho finished his thoughts.
Aiba and Ohno agreed by nodding their head while Nino just shrugs his shoulders and pulls out a DS from his side.
---
It didn’t took Jun long enough to wait for Eri to pick up, she answers after five rings. Jun told her it’s him calling after hearing her answer with uncertainly, she sounded shocked after he introduced himself.
“What did you call for, Matsumoto-san?” Eri returns to her professional sounding tone.
“It’s Yana, Eri-chan.” Jun went straight to the point. “She’s dodging my calls and she’s not home. I’m getting worried.”
“Ohh…” Eri pauses, Jun thinks that she’s thinking of what to say. “Yana is not in Tokyo.” That’s all she can say.
“Where is she and why is her phone turned off? Why did she just leave without saying anything?” Jun starts questioning her.
“Calm down, Matsumoto-san.” Jun can hear Eri laughing on the other line. “It’s not like she’ll be gone forever.”
“I’m just worried, Eri-chan. She did not inform me that she’s leaving Tokyo.” Jun gave his reason.
“Is there a need to inform you?” From the tone of her voice, Jun can tell that she is smirking wherever she is.
“No.” Jun answers flatly.
“Yana’s mother came back to Tokyo a few days ago and she took her to a short vacation. They are soaking under the hot sun in Phuket.” Eri informs him and he finally can feel his chest breathing smoothly.
“She has time to go on a vacation?” Jun playfully asked. He envied her, he secretly wishes that he can take her to a beach one day and they will just play the entire time.
“Well, her mother is very persistent. She already bought her a ticket and reserved a hotel before she even informs her daughter.” Eri laughed and so is Jun, her mother sounds really cool. “Her schedule isn’t that tough, she’ll just stay in the studio and write songs and plan a concert, so the Jimusho allowed her.”
“When will she be back?” Jun’s been irking to ask that question. He misses her so much, this is the longest time they’ve been apart since their thing started and if he hasn’t seen a sight of her for another week he’ll go crazy.
“In three days.” Eri answered and Jun let out an exasperated sigh.
“That’s quite long.” Jun mumbled softly, he didn’t expect Eri to hear that but she chuckled on the other line.
“Patience is a virtue.” Eri lectures him.
“Is there a way I can call her?” Jun found himself asking, he didn’t mean to sound so desperate and pathetic but what the heck, he badly wanted to hear her voice. “You must have communicated with her while she’s there, right?”
She did but Yana instructed her to not give Matsumoto Jun her roaming number. In truth, Yana took this opportunity to relax and stay away from all her problems and most importantly, to bond with her mother. She’ll face all her problems once she comes back and that includes Matsumoto Jun.
“She’s with her mother, who she hasn’t seen in months. Give them this time, she’ll be all yours again when she comes back.” Eri said.
Actually, she’s not sure about that last part, it’s totally up to Yana whether she’ll continue being in this relationship with him and from what she looks like before she rides that plane, she’s totally confused.
But if only Eri can get Matsumoto Jun to do what she needs him to do, Yana wouldn’t need to think about it carefully.
“Matsumoto-san, are you, by any chance, free tonight?” Eri asked him and he was surprised to hear that coming from her.
“Yeah, I haven’t made plans yet. Why?”
“Dinner’s on me. See you at around 8?” Eri decided, not even bothering to wait for Jun’s approval.
“Hold on, Eri-chan…” Jun protested.
“Do you like Yana, Matsumoto-san?”
“I do.”
“Good, coz tonight, I will help you get her for good.” He heard her say. “See you at 8, I’ll text you the place.”
---
When Jun arrived at the restaurant, Eri was already there, sitting by herself while talking on her phone. Jun pulled down his fedora hat and walks towards her table, she quickly ended her call once she saw him.
Eri noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the tiredness on his face.
“You look really bad, Matsumoto-san.” Eri blatantly says.
“I’m filming a drama, you know.”
“And worrying too much about Izumi Yana’s whereabouts.” Eri puts in while smiling.
“It’s just too wrong for her not to tell me that she’s going abroad.” Jun sighed annoyingly. “Is it so hard to write a text message to say that she’s leaving? It would only take her a few minutes.” He has short tolerance for this kind of things that tests his patience and control.
“She never told anyone that she’s leaving, even her friends but unlike you, they didn’t throw a fits about it.”
Jun winces at her. “I’m just really worried, that’s all.”
Eri laughs softly. “I understand you but you have to learn that Yana is like that. She’s one heck of a rollercoaster ride, that girl. You can’t really get into her head. She makes decisions on impulse without informing anyone. There was this one time wherein she booked a flight back to LA for two weeks without telling me, she just called me before she boards the plane. Imagine how berserk I got.” She recalls and Jun laughed quietly at her story.
“That’s what you need to know first on our Izumi Yana 101 crash course, tonight, Matsumoto-san.” Eri smiled mischievously and Jun raised his eyebrows.
“What is this really all about, Eri-chan?”
“I think you need to understand her better, you need to see her from the point of view of the people around her.”
“Why are you doing this?”
Eri paused and looked at him straight to the eyes. “Because I can see that she loves you so much but she’s just as afraid. I don’t want her to get hurt again, the last time it happen, I didn’t did anything to prevent it.”
“I wouldn’t hurt her. I will never hurt her.”
“I know that.” Eri smiled at him. “But other people can which will result to her hurting herself even more.”
“What do you mean by that?” Jun asked, confused.
“The last time she was in the hospital for depression… that wasn’t the first one.” Jun shoots up a look at her. “When she was young, she suffered the same illness but that one was more severe. She was on rigorous treatment for three years.”
“Why?” That’s all he can say from her revelation.
“I think you should hear the whole story from her, but don’t ask her. Wait for her to tell you. She doesn’t like talking about her past. You need to be really special before she can share that but I think out of the few special people in her life, you’re the most special.”
“Why did you tell me, then?” Jun chuckled.
“Because we need that little information for our crash course tonight.” Eri smiled playfully. “You need to know why her heart is very sensitive, a little prick will create a hole around it.”
“I know that. She hates getting her emotions tangled into something serious but now I know why.” Jun stares into the untouched wine glass in front of him.
“Another thing is that she has trust issues, only a few people managed to gain her trust completely and again, her past also has something to do about it.”
“Is that thing about her father?” Jun asked and Eri is surprised to hear that from him.
Eri nodded. “Her whole family, actually… Yana is just a simple girl with a simple wish and that is to be happy and be loved.”
“And they deprived her of that?” Jun asked, almost irritated by the tone of his voice.
“She had it tough as a kid.” Eri softly said.
“Her parents are terrible.” Jun concluded as he took a sip from his wine.
Eri just looked down, she’s starting to give him pieces of the story and she’s sure that Yana wouldn’t like it once she knew about this little meeting.
“You know, Matsumoto-san, I wasn’t even sure if Yana will ever fulfill that simple wish of hers, she hates men, she refuse to let someone come into her life but all of a sudden you came, she lets you in without hesitation, you changed her, you challenged every view she ever had with love and with life and you succeeded. Finally, she found happiness and love with you but she wouldn’t admit it completely, not because she’s stubborn, not because her pride is getting in the way but because she’s just too afraid. But I couldn’t blame her, because she lived her whole life being afraid of it.”
Jun swirled the wine glass around before he took it in one go.
“There’s only one way for her to stop being scared and that involves you, Matsumoto-san… Only you.” Eri stopped and Jun looks at her expectantly. “Tell her those three words you’ve been dying to say from the start.”
I'm still debating on my head on whether to write the third part or not. It's going to be really dramatic and angsty. :) What do you, my lovely readers, think?? :D
This will end soon. :(
As always, this is unbeta-ed, so tell me if you spotted any mistakes or errors. Comments, suggestions, reactions and criticisms are gladly welcomed. Happy reading! :D
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
He dialed her number for the gazillionth time and all he heard was that familiar voice recording telling him that the number is out of reach. He tossed his phone on the table in front of him before groaning with frustration. He’s been hearing those words for the past three days.
He also tried coming over to her apartment last night and even camping out her door but no one is answering inside. He wondered what went wrong that she suddenly seem like avoiding him.
“Maybe she’s busy.” Ohno is the first one to speak after the four members of Arashi witnessed a grouchy Matsumoto Jun.
He was in a bad mood since he entered this recording studio and he can’t even focus on the songs they are singing that they’ve been stuck on one song for over two hours now.
Jun looks up to see Ohno sitting beside him. “For three days, her cell phone is turned off and she’s not home... I’m worried.”
Yes. He’s worried that maybe something bad happened to her but he’s more worried about the fact that she’s dodging him. He has this strong feeling that this is about him.
“If something bad happened to Izumi Yana, trust me, the whole world will know right away.” Sho joins in.
“That’s why I think that this is about me.” Jun answered knowingly. “She’s avoiding me and I have no idea why.”
“Well, that’s easy, Matsujun.” Aiba said with confidence and the four guys awaited his next words. “Maybe Yana-chan finally realized what she needed to realize from the start.”
The five guys exchanged glances, considering that theory by Aiba.
“But why does she go into hiding?” Ohno wondered.
“Because Yana is a stubborn little brat.” Nino finally spoke. “She doesn’t like complications, you know. She tends to escape on her issues.”
“So what do I need to do?” Jun is totally and utterly confused right now. His mind is not functioning no matter how he asks it to work.
“Are you really asking us that question?” Aiba mockingly said. “You can be so dense, Matsujun.” He shakes his head while clicking his tongue. Jun is fighting the urge to slap this baka in the head really hard.
“I think what Aiba-kun is trying to say is that you need to start making a move now, Matsujun.” Sho puts in lightly as he laughs at Aiba trying to stay all smug at his bright discovery.
“I don’t know where to start. I don’t even know where she is.” Jun lets out a frustrated sigh.
“Have you tried asking Eri-chan of her whereabouts?” Nino asked.
Jun shoots a look at Nino before he break into a reserved smile. “I haven’t and you’re genius for thinking about Eri-chan.” To be honest, his mind is full of Yana that he stopped thinking about other people.
Jun picks up his phone and Nino smiled conceitedly while saluting at him.
“Problem is, I don’t have Eri-chan’s number.” Jun looks up at Nino, wishing that he has her number.
“I have it, I’ll send it to you.” Nino offered while picking up his phone from his jeans pocket.
“Nino, why do you have her number?” Aiba wondered as he giggled on his seat.
“Baka! It’s not what you think!” Nino told him off and finally, there’s a trace of smile on Jun’s face.
“I’m just asking!” Aiba retaliates. “It’s just a curious question.” He mumbled on a lower tone.
“By the way, are you still dating that model?” Sho suddenly asked and Nino is not ready to shift the topic to his dating matters.
“Yeah, it’s still the same, nothing serious, we’re not exclusive.” Nino answers nonchalantly.
“It’s really interesting when people say that they are not exclusive, what’s the difference?” Here goes Aiba again with his curious questions.
“That’s true.” Ohno backs up Aiba after receiving odd looks from the two members who are currently in a ‘not exclusive’ relationship. “Eventually, one of you will start feeling something else. It will come to a point where the other will get emotionally attached.”
“Actually, I think people wouldn’t engage into something physical without having the mutual attraction for each other, so from the start they are taking the risk of falling in love, right?” Sho sided with Aiba and Ohno.
“Why are we suddenly talking about this?” Jun raised his eyebrow.
“Take Matsujun, for example.” Sho continued, totally ignoring Jun.
“Don’t involve me into this!” Jun stood up, laughing while taking the phone to his ear and exiting the recording studio.
“What I’m only trying to say is that why take a more difficult and complicated route when you can just go straight to it.” Sho finished his thoughts.
Aiba and Ohno agreed by nodding their head while Nino just shrugs his shoulders and pulls out a DS from his side.
---
It didn’t took Jun long enough to wait for Eri to pick up, she answers after five rings. Jun told her it’s him calling after hearing her answer with uncertainly, she sounded shocked after he introduced himself.
“What did you call for, Matsumoto-san?” Eri returns to her professional sounding tone.
“It’s Yana, Eri-chan.” Jun went straight to the point. “She’s dodging my calls and she’s not home. I’m getting worried.”
“Ohh…” Eri pauses, Jun thinks that she’s thinking of what to say. “Yana is not in Tokyo.” That’s all she can say.
“Where is she and why is her phone turned off? Why did she just leave without saying anything?” Jun starts questioning her.
“Calm down, Matsumoto-san.” Jun can hear Eri laughing on the other line. “It’s not like she’ll be gone forever.”
“I’m just worried, Eri-chan. She did not inform me that she’s leaving Tokyo.” Jun gave his reason.
“Is there a need to inform you?” From the tone of her voice, Jun can tell that she is smirking wherever she is.
“No.” Jun answers flatly.
“Yana’s mother came back to Tokyo a few days ago and she took her to a short vacation. They are soaking under the hot sun in Phuket.” Eri informs him and he finally can feel his chest breathing smoothly.
“She has time to go on a vacation?” Jun playfully asked. He envied her, he secretly wishes that he can take her to a beach one day and they will just play the entire time.
“Well, her mother is very persistent. She already bought her a ticket and reserved a hotel before she even informs her daughter.” Eri laughed and so is Jun, her mother sounds really cool. “Her schedule isn’t that tough, she’ll just stay in the studio and write songs and plan a concert, so the Jimusho allowed her.”
“When will she be back?” Jun’s been irking to ask that question. He misses her so much, this is the longest time they’ve been apart since their thing started and if he hasn’t seen a sight of her for another week he’ll go crazy.
“In three days.” Eri answered and Jun let out an exasperated sigh.
“That’s quite long.” Jun mumbled softly, he didn’t expect Eri to hear that but she chuckled on the other line.
“Patience is a virtue.” Eri lectures him.
“Is there a way I can call her?” Jun found himself asking, he didn’t mean to sound so desperate and pathetic but what the heck, he badly wanted to hear her voice. “You must have communicated with her while she’s there, right?”
She did but Yana instructed her to not give Matsumoto Jun her roaming number. In truth, Yana took this opportunity to relax and stay away from all her problems and most importantly, to bond with her mother. She’ll face all her problems once she comes back and that includes Matsumoto Jun.
“She’s with her mother, who she hasn’t seen in months. Give them this time, she’ll be all yours again when she comes back.” Eri said.
Actually, she’s not sure about that last part, it’s totally up to Yana whether she’ll continue being in this relationship with him and from what she looks like before she rides that plane, she’s totally confused.
But if only Eri can get Matsumoto Jun to do what she needs him to do, Yana wouldn’t need to think about it carefully.
“Matsumoto-san, are you, by any chance, free tonight?” Eri asked him and he was surprised to hear that coming from her.
“Yeah, I haven’t made plans yet. Why?”
“Dinner’s on me. See you at around 8?” Eri decided, not even bothering to wait for Jun’s approval.
“Hold on, Eri-chan…” Jun protested.
“Do you like Yana, Matsumoto-san?”
“I do.”
“Good, coz tonight, I will help you get her for good.” He heard her say. “See you at 8, I’ll text you the place.”
---
When Jun arrived at the restaurant, Eri was already there, sitting by herself while talking on her phone. Jun pulled down his fedora hat and walks towards her table, she quickly ended her call once she saw him.
Eri noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the tiredness on his face.
“You look really bad, Matsumoto-san.” Eri blatantly says.
“I’m filming a drama, you know.”
“And worrying too much about Izumi Yana’s whereabouts.” Eri puts in while smiling.
“It’s just too wrong for her not to tell me that she’s going abroad.” Jun sighed annoyingly. “Is it so hard to write a text message to say that she’s leaving? It would only take her a few minutes.” He has short tolerance for this kind of things that tests his patience and control.
“She never told anyone that she’s leaving, even her friends but unlike you, they didn’t throw a fits about it.”
Jun winces at her. “I’m just really worried, that’s all.”
Eri laughs softly. “I understand you but you have to learn that Yana is like that. She’s one heck of a rollercoaster ride, that girl. You can’t really get into her head. She makes decisions on impulse without informing anyone. There was this one time wherein she booked a flight back to LA for two weeks without telling me, she just called me before she boards the plane. Imagine how berserk I got.” She recalls and Jun laughed quietly at her story.
“That’s what you need to know first on our Izumi Yana 101 crash course, tonight, Matsumoto-san.” Eri smiled mischievously and Jun raised his eyebrows.
“What is this really all about, Eri-chan?”
“I think you need to understand her better, you need to see her from the point of view of the people around her.”
“Why are you doing this?”
Eri paused and looked at him straight to the eyes. “Because I can see that she loves you so much but she’s just as afraid. I don’t want her to get hurt again, the last time it happen, I didn’t did anything to prevent it.”
“I wouldn’t hurt her. I will never hurt her.”
“I know that.” Eri smiled at him. “But other people can which will result to her hurting herself even more.”
“What do you mean by that?” Jun asked, confused.
“The last time she was in the hospital for depression… that wasn’t the first one.” Jun shoots up a look at her. “When she was young, she suffered the same illness but that one was more severe. She was on rigorous treatment for three years.”
“Why?” That’s all he can say from her revelation.
“I think you should hear the whole story from her, but don’t ask her. Wait for her to tell you. She doesn’t like talking about her past. You need to be really special before she can share that but I think out of the few special people in her life, you’re the most special.”
“Why did you tell me, then?” Jun chuckled.
“Because we need that little information for our crash course tonight.” Eri smiled playfully. “You need to know why her heart is very sensitive, a little prick will create a hole around it.”
“I know that. She hates getting her emotions tangled into something serious but now I know why.” Jun stares into the untouched wine glass in front of him.
“Another thing is that she has trust issues, only a few people managed to gain her trust completely and again, her past also has something to do about it.”
“Is that thing about her father?” Jun asked and Eri is surprised to hear that from him.
Eri nodded. “Her whole family, actually… Yana is just a simple girl with a simple wish and that is to be happy and be loved.”
“And they deprived her of that?” Jun asked, almost irritated by the tone of his voice.
“She had it tough as a kid.” Eri softly said.
“Her parents are terrible.” Jun concluded as he took a sip from his wine.
Eri just looked down, she’s starting to give him pieces of the story and she’s sure that Yana wouldn’t like it once she knew about this little meeting.
“You know, Matsumoto-san, I wasn’t even sure if Yana will ever fulfill that simple wish of hers, she hates men, she refuse to let someone come into her life but all of a sudden you came, she lets you in without hesitation, you changed her, you challenged every view she ever had with love and with life and you succeeded. Finally, she found happiness and love with you but she wouldn’t admit it completely, not because she’s stubborn, not because her pride is getting in the way but because she’s just too afraid. But I couldn’t blame her, because she lived her whole life being afraid of it.”
Jun swirled the wine glass around before he took it in one go.
“There’s only one way for her to stop being scared and that involves you, Matsumoto-san… Only you.” Eri stopped and Jun looks at her expectantly. “Tell her those three words you’ve been dying to say from the start.”