NOTICE: Problems after Problems
"Skye, I have a problem every 6 months, randomly! You, you get 2 problems every week! No one can have that many problems." - May
I don't know what to really say about my problems, my psychologically induced problems that effect my everyday life. Maybe I'm not even good enough for life anymore. I certainly don't feel good enough for my boyfriend. Life is starting to move once again into a downwards spiral. I think I'm starting to turn out into being a horrible person. I really do think I should stop complaining and just start keeping to myself again. It seems whenever I open up myself and try to make myself feel stuff. I just become a horrible person.
Maybe I should start to shut up and get a move on with life. Maybe I should not try to feel things, distance myself away from people, and leave the side of the people i love most. Maybe I should just not be around. You know what I mean? Maybe our distance is something that I should recognize. Maybe I should stop giving up stuff, and just go my own way. Maybe we are not ready to be together, maybe we just don't belong together period. Maybe we've just been fighting all of this. Maybe I don't belong with anyone, maybe I shouldn't be in love with anyone. Maybe I'm just this horrible monstrosity that has just gotten out of control. Maybe I should start staying at home more and not go out as much. Maybe I should just stick to pleasing my family and no one else. Maybe I'm just wrong for the world. I don't wanna start saying that I should end my life right now and put myself and everyone I know out of their misery. I know they think of me as a great person, but maybe their just telling themselves that and trying to make believe that, that is the truth about me when it is not.
I just realized that every person I end up loving, I always bring problems into their lives and I hate it. I feel like a thorn in everyone's side, that should be snipped off as soon as possible. I feel like, I'm just some horrible person that sucks everything good out from the other person that I love, and I never give anything back. At least that's what it sounds like everyone is saying.
Maybe I should just OUTCAST myself.
Maybe I should just live ALONE.
I'm starting to hate myself more and more with each passing day, and I don't really want to tell anyone.
I just want to type it. Hence the reason why it's being posted here.
My insecurities, the insecurities that I make him feel....they these insecurities are strangling me, and slowly I'm drowning in them.
It is all my fault.
Maybe then I'll just disappear...
I feel like I do not deserve to be with anyone. I'm just a menace to him, them and society.
My realization right now is incomparable to any depression I've felt about myself since recently.
-Skye
I don't know what to really say about my problems, my psychologically induced problems that effect my everyday life. Maybe I'm not even good enough for life anymore. I certainly don't feel good enough for my boyfriend. Life is starting to move once again into a downwards spiral. I think I'm starting to turn out into being a horrible person. I really do think I should stop complaining and just start keeping to myself again. It seems whenever I open up myself and try to make myself feel stuff. I just become a horrible person.
Maybe I should start to shut up and get a move on with life. Maybe I should not try to feel things, distance myself away from people, and leave the side of the people i love most. Maybe I should just not be around. You know what I mean? Maybe our distance is something that I should recognize. Maybe I should stop giving up stuff, and just go my own way. Maybe we are not ready to be together, maybe we just don't belong together period. Maybe we've just been fighting all of this. Maybe I don't belong with anyone, maybe I shouldn't be in love with anyone. Maybe I'm just this horrible monstrosity that has just gotten out of control. Maybe I should start staying at home more and not go out as much. Maybe I should just stick to pleasing my family and no one else. Maybe I'm just wrong for the world. I don't wanna start saying that I should end my life right now and put myself and everyone I know out of their misery. I know they think of me as a great person, but maybe their just telling themselves that and trying to make believe that, that is the truth about me when it is not.
I just realized that every person I end up loving, I always bring problems into their lives and I hate it. I feel like a thorn in everyone's side, that should be snipped off as soon as possible. I feel like, I'm just some horrible person that sucks everything good out from the other person that I love, and I never give anything back. At least that's what it sounds like everyone is saying.
Maybe I should just OUTCAST myself.
Maybe I should just live ALONE.
I'm starting to hate myself more and more with each passing day, and I don't really want to tell anyone.
I just want to type it. Hence the reason why it's being posted here.
My insecurities, the insecurities that I make him feel....they these insecurities are strangling me, and slowly I'm drowning in them.
It is all my fault.
Maybe then I'll just disappear...
I feel like I do not deserve to be with anyone. I'm just a menace to him, them and society.
My realization right now is incomparable to any depression I've felt about myself since recently.
-Skye