Curling UP.

[miji_ky]

I don't even know what to think anymore. I just wanna enjoy life, but the thoughts that float in my head continue to depress me. I don't know what to do exactly. I kind of want to cry my eyes out and just curl up.

I breathe in and nothing comes. 
I cry, but nothing falls..
I hurt, but nothing happens...
And In all of this non-existence...
I live.

I don't really wanna type out a freakin' essay and spill these un-spilled tears, but god damn I'm so fkin confused. You don't even know. I'm not sure anymore what exactly I'm suppose to do.

I'm accepting the unacceptable... 
I'm holding on to the one person I love the most...
How can I be so important?
How can I be the most important?
I feel like i've been pushed into the water...
And I'm dying slowly.

What I'm accepting is something that shouldn't be accepted. I shouldn't take that kind of stuff. I should rise above it and not care. I should just walk away.

I'm walkin' this path...
Looking ahead to what might be promising.
Once again I see two roads..
Once again I see a fork...
Once again I'm lost....

I would just walk away, but I'm held down. They are gentle but they aren't at the same time. The cruelty of it all. FUCK.

As I walk, these hands encircle...
Pulling me..
Against a warm back...
This comforting warmth..
I can't escape...
I don't want to escape...
I want to bask in this warmth... 
Take me away...

I'm standing out in the rain, and what the fuck. I notice that this is all mother fucking deja vu all over again. Jeezus. Anyway, I can't cry, but the rain cries for me. It feels my pain.

The rain falls down...
Its drops caressing my face...
Its love..
Its pain..
Its agony
Its happiness..
Raining down on me...