AFK
HELLO EVERYBODY.
You may have noticed that I haven't been online much. Here's the scoop:
For the past few weeks, I've been up to my eyeballs in real life insanity. I was working a convention which ate my life, and then I've had nonstop *stuff* happening. It's been insane. I simply didn't have TIME to sit down online and chat. I haven't really had time to make LJ posts. I haven't even had time to really read my flist (which makes me feel like a horrible friend - I'm sorry). If I was online, I was trying catch up (and failing), or hoping desperately to work on my fic.
Speaking of working on my fic... NO, I haven't had time to WRITE. Poking at my fic and editing in tiny increments is NOT WRITING. Writing is when people leave me the fuck alone, don't interrupt me with PM's and phone calls, don't ask me to get up and do ____, and don't chat with me online or in RL, thereby allowing me to get in the ZONE and fucking WRITE for at least an hour, preferably three. Make sense? I can't write if I'm interrupted every five minutes.
Last night, after almost three weeks of not really having time to myself to sit down and write, I realized I had about two hours to do precisely that. GLORIOUS! Me, the keyboard, my fic files, and blessed, sweet silence. What a concept, eh? So I sat down. I decided to check my messages quickly beforehand. This WOULD have only taken a few minutes, but somehow, people decided it was a good time to PM me. All I wanted to do was to say SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE, but I have this need to be polite. I mean, these folks don't realize that when I say, "Uh, I'm busy," I mean it. I'm not online playing games, dicking around randomly on the internet, or refreshing my f-list again. By the time I got people to understand that I wasn't online to chat and was able to turn off Facebook and g-mail chat without being completely rude, people came over to my house. Yes, I'd asked them to stop by and drop something off, and I am deeply grateful they did, but... interruption. And then, as I sat down again, my MOTHER called... to tell me that omg I NEED to look at this fucking picture of Facebook omg now!
*blinks* Seriously? You called me to tell me to look at a picture on Facebook because you saw me log off and I hadn't commented on this omg amazing picture???
After all was said and done, and I almost broke down crying because people just wouldn't leave me the fuck alone, I finally had an hour to write.
Yes, seriously, I almost broke down crying. Do you people understand? Writing is my outlet. I have been trying to escape, ALONE, to have writing time for several weeks. I NEED time to write. Uninterrupted. So I can totally focus on the story and entrench my mind in the plot and action. Otherwise, the story will suck and I'll NEVER FINISH WRITING IT. I tried to do some of my writing when I was distracted a few weeks ago, and I faffed the plot and now I need to reconstruct a major plot segment. I don't mind, but I need to be left ALONE to write it.
There's a reason I don't churn out a fluff fic every week. Sure, I COULD, and they'd be mediocre and unmemorable. My drug of choice is writing thick, plotty, intense novels with character development, mystery, action, and tightly woven threads woven together to (hopefully) form something coherent and ultimately flawless. I post them when they're done, because until they are, I can't trust that the final thread will work with the first one. This is why I'm not posting this a a WIP. This is why it takes forever between stories I post. But... dammit, it shouldn't take THIS LONG.
So I'm going Away From Keyboard. I'm not avoiding anyone in particular. I'm just avoiding interruptions. No chatting. With ANYONE. (Exception: Brief, pointed questions.) I will not answer frivolous e-mails. My answers to important e-mails will be brief and functional. Generally, both my g-mail chat and Facebook chat functions will be turned OFF when I'm using those sites. When I am on my computer, I will be WRITING, not chit-chatting.
Also, note to all (and yes, there are a few of you who do this): When it's late, and I say I need to go to bed, I don't mean "in a half hour." That doesn't mean, "please keep telling me one last thing" or "please elaborate on your topic for another indeterminate amount of time." It means, "I am going to bed NOW." For those who don't know, I have a fairly nasty auto-immune condition called lupus (and possibly another related condition that's exacerbating it - we're not sure). With the right meds, it's well-controlled and I feel fine, but my doctor is currently screwing with my meds. I am fucking TIRED in ways that most of you people can't possibly comprehend. I am NOT looking for pity or sympathy or sad-panda eyes. I'm just trying to explain why, when I say, "I'm going to bed," it means NOW. I HATE sounding rude by cutting off a conversation abruptly, but I've had several people (no, not just one, so I don't want anyone feeling individually guilty) continue talking to me when I've tried to hint (repeatedly) that I'm tired and need to go to bed because it's late. I'm getting to the point where I'm going to need to be rude, and I hate being rude and abrupt. When I say, "I need to go to bed now," I need people to respond with, "Okay, goodnight!" If you have more things you need to tell me, feel free to continue in an e-mail, but I need to get some sleep.
Anyway... AFK now. Love you all. LL&P.
You may have noticed that I haven't been online much. Here's the scoop:
For the past few weeks, I've been up to my eyeballs in real life insanity. I was working a convention which ate my life, and then I've had nonstop *stuff* happening. It's been insane. I simply didn't have TIME to sit down online and chat. I haven't really had time to make LJ posts. I haven't even had time to really read my flist (which makes me feel like a horrible friend - I'm sorry). If I was online, I was trying catch up (and failing), or hoping desperately to work on my fic.
Speaking of working on my fic... NO, I haven't had time to WRITE. Poking at my fic and editing in tiny increments is NOT WRITING. Writing is when people leave me the fuck alone, don't interrupt me with PM's and phone calls, don't ask me to get up and do ____, and don't chat with me online or in RL, thereby allowing me to get in the ZONE and fucking WRITE for at least an hour, preferably three. Make sense? I can't write if I'm interrupted every five minutes.
Last night, after almost three weeks of not really having time to myself to sit down and write, I realized I had about two hours to do precisely that. GLORIOUS! Me, the keyboard, my fic files, and blessed, sweet silence. What a concept, eh? So I sat down. I decided to check my messages quickly beforehand. This WOULD have only taken a few minutes, but somehow, people decided it was a good time to PM me. All I wanted to do was to say SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE, but I have this need to be polite. I mean, these folks don't realize that when I say, "Uh, I'm busy," I mean it. I'm not online playing games, dicking around randomly on the internet, or refreshing my f-list again. By the time I got people to understand that I wasn't online to chat and was able to turn off Facebook and g-mail chat without being completely rude, people came over to my house. Yes, I'd asked them to stop by and drop something off, and I am deeply grateful they did, but... interruption. And then, as I sat down again, my MOTHER called... to tell me that omg I NEED to look at this fucking picture of Facebook omg now!
*blinks* Seriously? You called me to tell me to look at a picture on Facebook because you saw me log off and I hadn't commented on this omg amazing picture???
After all was said and done, and I almost broke down crying because people just wouldn't leave me the fuck alone, I finally had an hour to write.
Yes, seriously, I almost broke down crying. Do you people understand? Writing is my outlet. I have been trying to escape, ALONE, to have writing time for several weeks. I NEED time to write. Uninterrupted. So I can totally focus on the story and entrench my mind in the plot and action. Otherwise, the story will suck and I'll NEVER FINISH WRITING IT. I tried to do some of my writing when I was distracted a few weeks ago, and I faffed the plot and now I need to reconstruct a major plot segment. I don't mind, but I need to be left ALONE to write it.
There's a reason I don't churn out a fluff fic every week. Sure, I COULD, and they'd be mediocre and unmemorable. My drug of choice is writing thick, plotty, intense novels with character development, mystery, action, and tightly woven threads woven together to (hopefully) form something coherent and ultimately flawless. I post them when they're done, because until they are, I can't trust that the final thread will work with the first one. This is why I'm not posting this a a WIP. This is why it takes forever between stories I post. But... dammit, it shouldn't take THIS LONG.
So I'm going Away From Keyboard. I'm not avoiding anyone in particular. I'm just avoiding interruptions. No chatting. With ANYONE. (Exception: Brief, pointed questions.) I will not answer frivolous e-mails. My answers to important e-mails will be brief and functional. Generally, both my g-mail chat and Facebook chat functions will be turned OFF when I'm using those sites. When I am on my computer, I will be WRITING, not chit-chatting.
Also, note to all (and yes, there are a few of you who do this): When it's late, and I say I need to go to bed, I don't mean "in a half hour." That doesn't mean, "please keep telling me one last thing" or "please elaborate on your topic for another indeterminate amount of time." It means, "I am going to bed NOW." For those who don't know, I have a fairly nasty auto-immune condition called lupus (and possibly another related condition that's exacerbating it - we're not sure). With the right meds, it's well-controlled and I feel fine, but my doctor is currently screwing with my meds. I am fucking TIRED in ways that most of you people can't possibly comprehend. I am NOT looking for pity or sympathy or sad-panda eyes. I'm just trying to explain why, when I say, "I'm going to bed," it means NOW. I HATE sounding rude by cutting off a conversation abruptly, but I've had several people (no, not just one, so I don't want anyone feeling individually guilty) continue talking to me when I've tried to hint (repeatedly) that I'm tired and need to go to bed because it's late. I'm getting to the point where I'm going to need to be rude, and I hate being rude and abrupt. When I say, "I need to go to bed now," I need people to respond with, "Okay, goodnight!" If you have more things you need to tell me, feel free to continue in an e-mail, but I need to get some sleep.
Anyway... AFK now. Love you all. LL&P.