hey wow life goes on
Finally got in touch with Mom. Yay. Asking Mike about that caused him to have a mini-meltdown at me, but it opened the gates for some good conversation and that was helpful on both sides, I hope. He is fine with me not coming up, and is focusing on trying to be there for his mom-in-law. (Sis-in-law, Debbie, had a brother who died in '09. To say her Mom isn't doing well is an understatement of epic proportions.)
I reminded him to eat and to take care of himself. He said Chuck (eldest brother) is helping, and that is good.
Mom is likely going to be flogging herself for not being able to be there, but I will have words with her when I can. Because it's not about her, and that's going to be hard to say-- but to protect Mike I will say it if I have to.
I'm currently doing lots of praying for my brother and his mom-in-law. And doing a lot of "no, it's none of your damn business" at people for whom this is just drama fodder. Feh. Assholes.
Tragedy seems to bring out the assholes in droves. I am irked at the ones trying to prey on my brother. And even more determined that I want to be cremated, have my ashes scattered, and have my peeps have some kind of online party to celebrate my life. Because fuck all of this torture that my poor brother is dealing with.
On the plus side, he has reconsidered his choice to delete her FB page. Ironically, this caused another meltdown. I asked him if he was going to do the memorial thing FB allows, and he just crashed. Because he'd wanted to delete it, but Debbie wanted it memorialized, and he was all "I'm being selfish" and just... augh. I did a lot of verbal petting and "it's ok" and then told him he was going to have to be selfish a little, to get through it.
I shall continue being the voice of reason and comfort as I can. And have my meltdowns here, where it's safe.
My sister in law's photo on her obituary page is perfection. She was so beautiful. Fierce and determined, protective of her people and incredibly stubborn and opinionated. I will miss her forever.
This entry was originally posted at Dreamwidth. There are
comments there. You may comment there, or here.
I reminded him to eat and to take care of himself. He said Chuck (eldest brother) is helping, and that is good.
Mom is likely going to be flogging herself for not being able to be there, but I will have words with her when I can. Because it's not about her, and that's going to be hard to say-- but to protect Mike I will say it if I have to.
I'm currently doing lots of praying for my brother and his mom-in-law. And doing a lot of "no, it's none of your damn business" at people for whom this is just drama fodder. Feh. Assholes.
Tragedy seems to bring out the assholes in droves. I am irked at the ones trying to prey on my brother. And even more determined that I want to be cremated, have my ashes scattered, and have my peeps have some kind of online party to celebrate my life. Because fuck all of this torture that my poor brother is dealing with.
On the plus side, he has reconsidered his choice to delete her FB page. Ironically, this caused another meltdown. I asked him if he was going to do the memorial thing FB allows, and he just crashed. Because he'd wanted to delete it, but Debbie wanted it memorialized, and he was all "I'm being selfish" and just... augh. I did a lot of verbal petting and "it's ok" and then told him he was going to have to be selfish a little, to get through it.
I shall continue being the voice of reason and comfort as I can. And have my meltdowns here, where it's safe.
My sister in law's photo on her obituary page is perfection. She was so beautiful. Fierce and determined, protective of her people and incredibly stubborn and opinionated. I will miss her forever.
This entry was originally posted at Dreamwidth. There are
comments there. You may comment there, or here.