courtesy of the kenny.....
REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE
New York, NY
6:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by the Rev. Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting Your Kid A Military Deferment"
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: "Mercury, It's What's for Dinner"
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: "The Homos Are After Your Children"
8:30 PM Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: "Corporations: The Government of the Future"
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2: "Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires"
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer, led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: "Doublespeak Made Easy"
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration: How to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer in headlights stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of Black Republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3: "Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy"
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñata
11:20 PM Second John Ashcroft Lecture: "Evolutionists: The Dangerous New
Cult"
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:45 PM Nomination of George W. Bush
12:00 AM Laura Bush serves milk and cookies
i'm so giving a copy to quincy.