(no subject)
i had a semi spiritual expirience the other day at church. which is weird cuz i hate god. i like family though.
these are the few things i will tolerate for there to be an orderly world around us. i enjoy the catholics. i just
dont know if they enjoy themselves. either way, we had just convinced trea and emily to come along to church
with us. chris was nodding off and on, but the look on my mom's face, when she saw that we showed up with
some one else's daughter at church. priceless. i would steal babies just to see that smile on my mom's face.
and so for the moment, my parents had kidnapped and sabotaged the tepikians kids, which was always the
other way around before. but on that fine saturday, the tables turned.
anyways, that wasnt my religious expirience yet. anyways, some where in between thinking all that, and then all
of us holding hands to say "our father who art in heaven..." prayer, i felt this inmense amount of happiness
rushing through me as i deja vued and related this moment reminiscing doing this prayer when i had brought
elena years ago to this church, when we finally got the chance to hold our hands so tight that we thought we would never
let go. like,... now that the prayer begins... now we're ready, and now, we can be happy. thats how it felt like. does
that count?
i can easily see how some one who expiriences this in their life, and if they were as lost as me, they would
scarcely start resourrcing to the church. you know, join the church. unfortunately, i was educated enough in the christian school
in belize, to know that... religion is bullshit. ts funny, i knew i felt it, i dont deny it at all, even though i dont particularly believe in it.
but joining the church is not an option for me. it wouldnt make me happy. it prolly would make things better. but i couldnt live
that life style too long. i would get tired and fuck up. either way, i am not a church joiner... the reason i agree to go with my
parents, is because it helps us agree on anything. besides, people do it because it requires the least amount of effort.
going to church doesnt necesarily give me less guilt or more pride in how much effort i put in to the world by going to church.
i see it, do it enough as a youngster and adults will love you. and on top of everything, HOLD an image of ungodliness.
make the adults contradict and get confused. yes there are a lot of advantages with the church. too many as a matter of fact.
this is why i decide to stick to more pure things. like art. one day. art will be the new religion... life style and mood.
anyways. the week has been slow. i took the blow for our stash on monday. that means that i was intensely spit on. so today and tomorow i will look for school and work.
god i love being dead.
these are the few things i will tolerate for there to be an orderly world around us. i enjoy the catholics. i just
dont know if they enjoy themselves. either way, we had just convinced trea and emily to come along to church
with us. chris was nodding off and on, but the look on my mom's face, when she saw that we showed up with
some one else's daughter at church. priceless. i would steal babies just to see that smile on my mom's face.
and so for the moment, my parents had kidnapped and sabotaged the tepikians kids, which was always the
other way around before. but on that fine saturday, the tables turned.
anyways, that wasnt my religious expirience yet. anyways, some where in between thinking all that, and then all
of us holding hands to say "our father who art in heaven..." prayer, i felt this inmense amount of happiness
rushing through me as i deja vued and related this moment reminiscing doing this prayer when i had brought
elena years ago to this church, when we finally got the chance to hold our hands so tight that we thought we would never
let go. like,... now that the prayer begins... now we're ready, and now, we can be happy. thats how it felt like. does
that count?
i can easily see how some one who expiriences this in their life, and if they were as lost as me, they would
scarcely start resourrcing to the church. you know, join the church. unfortunately, i was educated enough in the christian school
in belize, to know that... religion is bullshit. ts funny, i knew i felt it, i dont deny it at all, even though i dont particularly believe in it.
but joining the church is not an option for me. it wouldnt make me happy. it prolly would make things better. but i couldnt live
that life style too long. i would get tired and fuck up. either way, i am not a church joiner... the reason i agree to go with my
parents, is because it helps us agree on anything. besides, people do it because it requires the least amount of effort.
going to church doesnt necesarily give me less guilt or more pride in how much effort i put in to the world by going to church.
i see it, do it enough as a youngster and adults will love you. and on top of everything, HOLD an image of ungodliness.
make the adults contradict and get confused. yes there are a lot of advantages with the church. too many as a matter of fact.
this is why i decide to stick to more pure things. like art. one day. art will be the new religion... life style and mood.
anyways. the week has been slow. i took the blow for our stash on monday. that means that i was intensely spit on. so today and tomorow i will look for school and work.
god i love being dead.