(no subject)
so is snickypoo saying that she's not going to e-mail me anymore? i think she should. because i can't reply to my own posts, you know? he he.
hey!! the cello guy's out of tune! i'm listening to a recording of the rococo and he plays really well (i don't know who it is though.. it's not yo yo ma.. it's samuel something) except he was out of tune on the first variation also, just like i am! lol except i'm REALLY out of tune and it completely sucks!! Oh and now he's on the second variation... it's all about phrasing and confidence, really, that's what i've discovered. no one, for the most part, unless you're trying out for juliard or curtis, is really going to care how in tune you are, as long as you're not grossly out of tune. i can't believe mr. simmons wants me to play it so soon... but, i think i can learn it.. like i said, it's all about phrasing... it's the confidence and the cadenza i need to learn he he.
i figured out that i have to figure out how to let myself go. my whole being is basically based on control- i have to be in total control of myself, i can't let myself not be in control, or something bad's going to happen. it's like ocd, except not really. that's why i'm never going to do drugs or get drunk, because it will make me not be in control, and i can't have that. that just will not work. so i need to figure out how to let myself go without being high, and i'll have the key to playing music. except the rococo is kind of detatched... but whatever. once i know how to totally free like my teacher, then i will play amazingly. sadly, i don't think this is possible.
she's so cool! stupid guy. he's good at phrasing. dammit. anyway, back to what i was saying: i've already told almost everyone i know about this, but it's just so amazing.. i love my teacher, she's so amazingly cool.. oh you know amazing-pianist didn't know that she was my teacher? i just told her today, and she's like, COOOLLLL!! and i was like he he. anyway, so, on sunday my teacher was like, you've grown like a foot since last week, and i was like, .. i don't think i have.... and she's like, you look so much taller! and i was like... thanks?... and then she started going on about how i look like one of those old victorian ladies with the big floofy dress and the wig and lots of white powder, and the MOLE ... amazing-pianist was like MOLEYMOLEYLMOLEY... NOT FAIR>>>> I WANT TO BE ABLE TO PLAY THE CADENZA LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway, it was AMAZING!! it was the best lesson i've had in a LOOONG time, and not just because my teacher was in a good mood.
i had a great weekend this weekend. i'm not so sure why, i was just in a really good mood all weekend, which is strange, because i should have been MAJORLY Pmsing.
why am i not as good as a professional cellist? this is not fair. on the other hand, it is, because not only do i not want to be a professional cellist, i've only been playing for 6 years, which is guess isn't an "only been playing" anymore, but still. i started late. i should be proud of where i am! sucks that i'm not. dude.
how is it possible to know what the hell you are supposed to play like in a cadenza?? i just DON"T GET IT! (i should find soem way to do like those aliens did in the movie Space Jam, where they sucked all the talent out of the basketball players... except i would give it back when i was done with the march. 17 concert.. i promise)
oh i had a really weird convo with poodle on the train this morning. i was telling him about the other viola player who's up in NC at the moment, and how he's gone all pessimistic and stupid, and how he told me it was all about sex even though he and his girlfriend never actually had sex, they were just physically attracted to each other, and blah blah blah, and freud was right, and whatever. and poodle's like "you dont' agree with freud?" and i was like "no." and he's like "why?" and i was like " because freud was a sex obsessed weird man." HOW CAN HE PLAY THE LAST VARIATION SO FAST AND SO FREAKING PERFECTLY!! THIS IS MAKING ME VERY SAD AND VERY MAD!!!!!!! back to my story: (mwah ha ha ha. he's not in tune.. that makes me feel better) anyway so poodle's like "is it just you that thinks that?" and i was like "no actually a lot of girls think that" and he's like "oh that's interesting.. so why do you disagree with freud, ___?" and i was like "no.. i'm not having this conversation..." because i don't like talking about things having to do with.. um... sex. i don't really remember the convo word for word, but it was a lot more in depth than that up until the part where i was like.. i'm not talking about this anymore.
i don't know why i'm so not wanting to talk about sex or anything.. i don't know.. it's just disgusting and i don't want to until i have to, i guess...
now i feel better because i'm listening to Avenue Q...
i'm goign to go do something else now... bye!!