The Scummier Bar is open for business!
What a difference a couple of days make! Phew! *wipes forehead* I swear, I've been rushed off my feet; by the time the ships had stopped coming in with all the unemployed scum pirates who'd somehow got the idea there was work here on Mêlée, the bar was already finished. There it is, right next door to the sushi place, neon sign a-glowing under the Caribbean stars. The Scummier Bar. *sighs happily* My lifelong dream of owning a filthy grog-swilling authentic pirate bar has finally come true.
*frowns* Except my lifelong dream was to be a pirate, wasn't it? Ah well, been there, done that, got several lousy t-shirts. Haggis and me used them to make dummies to feed to the piranha poodles while we were stealing rum from Elaine's 'secret' stash in the mansion. I just hope I don't have to prove that I Beat the Swordmaster of Mêlée Island again anytime soon.
Ah, and it was all over so quickly... It turned out that the Pirates of Low Moral Fiber were actually competent carpenters, despite being ex-circus performers with several missing limbs, when given the right incentive - I just regaled them with a couple of my LeChuck-exploding stories and they got right to work. Woody the Woodsmith took to wearing earplugs around then, but with the sound the POLMF's were making, I don't blame him.
A couple of days ago Murray said something about the place being cursed. Or cursing the place, or maybe I mean me, but anyway, it gave me an idea and in the end I went out to Plunder Island in Captain Dredd's patched-up glass-bottom boat - amazing what melted cheese'll do for your hull and visited the voodoo shop. Mojo came in last night for the Grand Opening and gave us a voodoo curse blessing for the place. Hopefully that means we won't get too many undead pirates jiggling through the door. or any more demonic skulls.
Haggis, Murray and I decided at the last minute we'd go for a themed décor, though... Murray suggested Dante's Inferno - turns out it involved three barrels of kerosene and a bonfire - and Haggis' plan for a bar 'n' barbershop was just a little too freakish. I mean, there's enough hair in the food already without a scissor-happy Scot getting lice-ridden locks in the goulash. In the end we went for a kind of native cannibal theme; we had the vegetarian ex-cannibals over from Blood Island (their volcano's been erupting, again) to give up decorating tips and teach Blondebeard to cook fake chicken with tofu.
I think the opening went well. We had Elaine come down and do the honors with the big pink off-red ribbon, then all the pirates who'd helped out with the place went and spent their pieces o' eight on the lukewarm, watered-down grog and Blondebeard's tofu chilli. Turns out that in the end we built the bar for the price of eight trees that we stole from the municipal shipyards anyway. Not bad for a week's work!
now all I have to do is palm off all the work onto Haggis, rent a boat, bribe Carla and Otis onto my crew with silly amounts of cash and 'borrow' that compass... I'll be back from the Isla de Muerta before Elaine even knows I'm gone, eight hundred and eighty-two pieces o' eight better off!
*frowns* Except my lifelong dream was to be a pirate, wasn't it? Ah well, been there, done that, got several lousy t-shirts. Haggis and me used them to make dummies to feed to the piranha poodles while we were stealing rum from Elaine's 'secret' stash in the mansion. I just hope I don't have to prove that I Beat the Swordmaster of Mêlée Island again anytime soon.
Ah, and it was all over so quickly... It turned out that the Pirates of Low Moral Fiber were actually competent carpenters, despite being ex-circus performers with several missing limbs, when given the right incentive - I just regaled them with a couple of my LeChuck-exploding stories and they got right to work. Woody the Woodsmith took to wearing earplugs around then, but with the sound the POLMF's were making, I don't blame him.
A couple of days ago Murray said something about the place being cursed. Or cursing the place, or maybe I mean me, but anyway, it gave me an idea and in the end I went out to Plunder Island in Captain Dredd's patched-up glass-bottom boat - amazing what melted cheese'll do for your hull and visited the voodoo shop. Mojo came in last night for the Grand Opening and gave us a voodoo curse blessing for the place. Hopefully that means we won't get too many undead pirates jiggling through the door. or any more demonic skulls.
Haggis, Murray and I decided at the last minute we'd go for a themed décor, though... Murray suggested Dante's Inferno - turns out it involved three barrels of kerosene and a bonfire - and Haggis' plan for a bar 'n' barbershop was just a little too freakish. I mean, there's enough hair in the food already without a scissor-happy Scot getting lice-ridden locks in the goulash. In the end we went for a kind of native cannibal theme; we had the vegetarian ex-cannibals over from Blood Island (their volcano's been erupting, again) to give up decorating tips and teach Blondebeard to cook fake chicken with tofu.
I think the opening went well. We had Elaine come down and do the honors with the big pink off-red ribbon, then all the pirates who'd helped out with the place went and spent their pieces o' eight on the lukewarm, watered-down grog and Blondebeard's tofu chilli. Turns out that in the end we built the bar for the price of eight trees that we stole from the municipal shipyards anyway. Not bad for a week's work!
now all I have to do is palm off all the work onto Haggis, rent a boat, bribe Carla and Otis onto my crew with silly amounts of cash and 'borrow' that compass... I'll be back from the Isla de Muerta before Elaine even knows I'm gone, eight hundred and eighty-two pieces o' eight better off!