It's the moment that you're living in and not the one that follows

[mightymonju]

My mother sent me a card for my birthday containing a check and a bookmark. The bookmark is metal and oval and elongated, purple with a silver trim, and a pink tassle is attached to the end, held on by a coil of silver. It's not a very manly bookmark.

It is engraved with this: "It is never too late to be what you might have been." -George EliotI

Comments

[raspberryfixx]

one thing that is constant with life is that things change. think, though, people forget about the peaks and valleys that go along with those changes.

i know i can't truly speak for everyone, but i know most people i have as friends, and inculding myself, have felt many times that their skin just doesn't quite fit their minds. evolution isn't instantaneous and it takes time for everything to catch up.

we all molt, shed our old skins and awake from hibernation - constantly. sometimes it may just be a bit of the elbow skin for a 5 minute nap.

sometimes though, it's the entire she-bang.

it's not negative to notice things you want to change. it's if you actually pull off the blinders or get comfy in the binds that defines "validity".

...in my opinion.

[mightymonju]

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation."

I do not want to be quiet. I do not want to be desperate.

But usually I fear I am just full of sound and fury...

[raspberryfixx]

how can you not be listened to?

and where is all of this coming from?

i don't know why you suddenly see yourself in such a limited form. i wish i knew how to help. maybe look in from a different window.

or. if your persective cannot be swayed by opinions, narrow the effort into a managable section and go for it. it's your life to mould how you will.

no regrets, though, for things not done past.

[mightymonju]

There's no "suddenly" about it.

Just my standard venting. One of my many and varied recurring questions about life in general, and mine in particular.

[discogravy]

his boyfriend also thinks he's in denial about it

[mightymonju]

What are you doing for dinner tonight, Bill?

[discogravy]

"could i have been anyone other than me?"

man, i love that song.

dude, you'd never know. and there's no guarantees that you'd be happier were you different. life is for the living and enjoying in the moment. are you happier now than you were in portland? in the fucking swamp^Wmotherland? you've got a good job, friends you enjoy who also enjoy you and your life is if not filled with contentment, at least comfort. don't knock it. all you need is a woman that won't drive you too crazy and you're well on your way to happiness.

There's the 25% for the week.

[mightymonju]

The sad part is that the only thing of which I am certain is that no matter what I could have been or will turn out to be, I would still be unsatisfied.

It's as if I were born wanting.

Re: There's the 25% for the week.

[fakie1080]

I was gonna say something, but I'll just reply with this instead:

[ellisbell]

I read your entry with interest and empathy.
I hope that we all can find what we might have been, but more credibly, of what we are capable now.

[mightymonju]

Thanks.

Focusing more on the present would probably do me a whole lot more good.

[cpf]

My morning shower was filled with mad gas.

[sveeb]

Likewise, I found the ill effects of a late-night run to Denny's for coffee and Country Scramble.