wow so i haven't updated this journal in a while, almost a year. it's like i go thru cycles, i try to get better, ultimately get even worse, and then come back
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hey you. first off yes i do know what pissed is like!! i like that word, too, you know. much more fitting than 'drunk.' i'm pissed every night. last night i drank a bottle of wine and was just on the verge of being buzzed.. i hate having such a high tolerance! guess that happens when you drink so much.
and no you don't sound hurtful or mean. you just sound honest. and i know that's true, that i can keep it together better than most people can- better than people who don't even have addiction issues or other problems- and that all of our friends think that nothing's wrong. no one knows except for him. i don't know, he doesn't seem as if he's ashamed of me, or of my problems, but i just don't know what he would do if everyone found out. i mean no one would respond negatively and i don't think it would change their opinion of me.. i don't know. the morning after i have my little 'tantrums,' when i drink myself comatose and start talking about suicide and blah blah he's very supportive but always tiptoes around it, like i would break if he were to bring it up.
and no you don't sound hurtful or mean. you just sound honest. and i know that's true, that i can keep it together better than most people can- better than people who don't even have addiction issues or other problems- and that all of our friends think that nothing's wrong. no one knows except for him. i don't know, he doesn't seem as if he's ashamed of me, or of my problems, but i just don't know what he would do if everyone found out. i mean no one would respond negatively and i don't think it would change their opinion of me.. i don't know. the morning after i have my little 'tantrums,' when i drink myself comatose and start talking about suicide and blah blah he's very supportive but always tiptoes around it, like i would break if he were to bring it up.
blah!!! your pup is very adorable :) boy or girl?
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