(no subject)
I woke up this morning at 6:30am, dying of thirst. I had been drinking the night before. Since I couldn't fall back asleep and didn't feel like laying in bed, I got up, went for a run, lifted weights, and then read the blog entry that changed my life.
If you aren't familiar with Rudius Media, I highly recommend you check it out, particularly the "Power, Seduction and War" blog by Robert Greene. I just bought his [i] 33 Strategies of War[/i] audio book yesterday, so I thought I'd check out his blog this morning. He was recalling his musings during a recent trip to Russia and talked about how everyone in Russia had a hardened, suffering look that was so different from Americans'. The following passage really changed me:
"The other side of this is equally clear: those who come from backgrounds that are reasonably well off, in which their environments do not present much pressure, these types tend to have a spirit that is slack. Their energy and ambition is never heated up enough to impel them forward. They will try many things in life, wandering around from this and that, but never concentrating on one thing. There is no necessity in their actions. Behind them stands a loving parent who will bail them out with money or affection or both. And this slackness infects everything they do. You can see it in their eyes, in their body language, in the tone of their voice. Nothing is sharp; everything is hazy. We see a lot of this slack spirit in America and to me it is depressing."
This sums up what I view is wrong with America, and also what was wrong with myself for the past two years. I've been paralyzed by this terrible indecisiveness, which was probably caused by me being yanked out of my perfect little comfort zone in Wakefield, MA. Yesterday I though that was a bad thing. Today I see that if I hadn't left Wakefield, I would never learn how to have a successful life.
In high school I was successful because of pressure. There were consequences if I didn't get up and go to school in the morning, pass in homework, or practice my horn. My parents and teachers were largely the ones responsible for this pressure. Well, since I left home, they turned from pressurizing me to more of a "Do what you want, we love you attitude," and professors here don't motivate you like professors at WHS do. I think this is what college is all about: removing those pressures, and seeing if you can survive and maintain your drive. Because in 5 years I don't plan on living in my parents house, nor will I have professors of anykind that will get on my case if I don't perform. I just have a boss that will fire me if I'm not motivated. So in this respect college is beneficial. It may be a difficult transition, but in the end it is worth it.
I've realized I've been too complacent and too used to my life being perfect. I'm only given one life, so good or bad, I better do something with it, and not sit around all day sleeping and playing computer games. I want to be a great historian, administrator, planner, or something I don't even know about yet. But the most important thing I realized this early Sunday morning is that if I want any of that I'm going to have to work for it. I've found my drive.
-M
If you aren't familiar with Rudius Media, I highly recommend you check it out, particularly the "Power, Seduction and War" blog by Robert Greene. I just bought his [i] 33 Strategies of War[/i] audio book yesterday, so I thought I'd check out his blog this morning. He was recalling his musings during a recent trip to Russia and talked about how everyone in Russia had a hardened, suffering look that was so different from Americans'. The following passage really changed me:
"The other side of this is equally clear: those who come from backgrounds that are reasonably well off, in which their environments do not present much pressure, these types tend to have a spirit that is slack. Their energy and ambition is never heated up enough to impel them forward. They will try many things in life, wandering around from this and that, but never concentrating on one thing. There is no necessity in their actions. Behind them stands a loving parent who will bail them out with money or affection or both. And this slackness infects everything they do. You can see it in their eyes, in their body language, in the tone of their voice. Nothing is sharp; everything is hazy. We see a lot of this slack spirit in America and to me it is depressing."
This sums up what I view is wrong with America, and also what was wrong with myself for the past two years. I've been paralyzed by this terrible indecisiveness, which was probably caused by me being yanked out of my perfect little comfort zone in Wakefield, MA. Yesterday I though that was a bad thing. Today I see that if I hadn't left Wakefield, I would never learn how to have a successful life.
In high school I was successful because of pressure. There were consequences if I didn't get up and go to school in the morning, pass in homework, or practice my horn. My parents and teachers were largely the ones responsible for this pressure. Well, since I left home, they turned from pressurizing me to more of a "Do what you want, we love you attitude," and professors here don't motivate you like professors at WHS do. I think this is what college is all about: removing those pressures, and seeing if you can survive and maintain your drive. Because in 5 years I don't plan on living in my parents house, nor will I have professors of anykind that will get on my case if I don't perform. I just have a boss that will fire me if I'm not motivated. So in this respect college is beneficial. It may be a difficult transition, but in the end it is worth it.
I've realized I've been too complacent and too used to my life being perfect. I'm only given one life, so good or bad, I better do something with it, and not sit around all day sleeping and playing computer games. I want to be a great historian, administrator, planner, or something I don't even know about yet. But the most important thing I realized this early Sunday morning is that if I want any of that I'm going to have to work for it. I've found my drive.
-M