i found what i've been looking for
admittedly, i am in a great place right now. it doesnt seem to matter what the world throws at me these days- i have this fantastic understanding that God lasts beyond the end of school, and is bigger than any job or housing that i am seeking. i'm so thankful that a lot of the people i love are staying around Boston in the years to come, and the thing that is inevitable and bites is that i will probably lose the ones who are moving away. this includes one of my best friends, but again, i know that God is bigger than any friendship that i have, and i am consciously striving to show God that i am serious about His being more important to me than any place, event, person, thing. that's why it didnt hurt- only a couple of tears divided between the idea of closure and the overwhelming sovereignty of the Lord, and a powerful sense of hope and excitement for the unknown that is to come in my life.
for a while i have felt myself coming to a crossroads of sorts. there was a reason to stay here, but unless things change, that's become moot. i dont think that these crossroads are paths that i contrived- there was one reason i would stay around Boston beyond 5 years down the road, but today it seems that my path has veered in the other direction.
it's not that my family isnt enough to keep me in the area- they're the other factor that would make it difficult to relocate for the long-term- but with no other ties i could do it. it's funny- earlier this school year i was panicked about friends in general in this whole scattering process that happens after college graduation, but at this point i'm not so worried about it. i will make friends, and someday when i come back i will have the chance to reconnect with the ones here.
so the other path- the one i was willing to give up, the one that will be scary and lead me far away.. my waking dream, a startlingly persistent and tenacious and aching desire.. is to move to New Zealand within 5 years.
yes, i'm serious.
i've been tossing this idea around since last semester. julia's moving there, and my kiwi friends have opened their arms to me for if and hopefully when the time comes. i have no idea if i've mentioned it here and dont care to check at the moment. I've been looking at ways to move there, find and become legitimate to work, and eventually gain residency- which in theory doesnt take too-too long.
i feel very sober right now- not as opposed to feeling drunk; i feel calm and clearminded.
so i told you that i'm going to Europe. Jeromy and i are heading to the UK, flying into London. we'll stick around for a few days but soon make our way up through England in a short amount of time (maybe a day or two) and arrive in Glasgow, Scotland. we plan to spend most of our time in Scotland, checking out castles and doing a lot of walking and hiking and perhaps the occasional bike trek. three or 4 days before we fly back to the states, we fly from Glasgow over to Belfast, Ireland. from there over the next few days we make our way down the coast to Dublin where we fly out of, to Chicago onto Boston.
all in all, it'll take 3 weeks and a day.
i'm pretty psyched to travel. i think we're going to do pretty well for expenses too. my absolute budget for everything is $1500. plane tix from boston to london, glasgow to belfast, and dublin to boston all added up to $550, and i know we'll have all other travel expenses push that to $600 at the most. that leaves us $300 each week for food and the occasional lodging- though couch surfing will take care of us a lot of the time.
on thursday the temp will hit 60 again. i am all too ready...
A thousand times i fail, Your mercy remains
Should i stumble again, I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Neverending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
Will above all else, my purpose remains
The Art of losing myself in bringing You praise
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Neverending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
My heart and my soul, I give You control
Consume me from the inside out, Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out
i-love-Hillsong-United.