My love affair with gluten
In honor of Valentine's Day, this bakery near my house made things heart-shaped. "I love things that are shaped like things," I thought. So I bought something called a raspberry flying apron, sounds good, right? Well it wasn't. It tasted like a dog biscuit, so much that it brought to mind the glossy golden retreiver on the Milk Bone box. This is probably because it was a vegan "pastry," as well as being wheat-free and gluten-free. Even my vegetarian self could not handle this. So I threw the heart-shaped fucker into le trash. Moral: Eat more gluten.
The other day at work was "pirate day," and it was the worst day of my life. If I hear anyone go "Arrrgh" ever again, I will find a plank and throw myself off of it.
Last week I got my nose pierced, for some unknown reason. But it's rad. Anyway, they give you this bag of salt when you get something pierced, and you are supposed to soak your "fresh piercing" (their words, not mine) in salt water two to four times daily (what's weird about this is they also tell you not to go in the ocean, which...I don't even need to explain the irony). So I had this mini ziplock o' salt in my purse, and I was at the bank digging through my purse for my wallet and the bag fell out. The guy next to me gave me the weirdest look, and goes "Duuuude, is that coke?" So effing weird. "Duuuude, if you are confusing salt and cocaine, then you probably don't need anymore." Should have sold it to him, made bank.
Go here.... http://s8.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1ZKBFAH40RX061WYP7NR9BYC1G and get that song. The new And Sometimes Why release, and it's pretty kick ass. (I renamed it, kp...muaha)
I miss the days when school involved Crayola markers. I have so much shit to do. I'm done.
The other day at work was "pirate day," and it was the worst day of my life. If I hear anyone go "Arrrgh" ever again, I will find a plank and throw myself off of it.
Last week I got my nose pierced, for some unknown reason. But it's rad. Anyway, they give you this bag of salt when you get something pierced, and you are supposed to soak your "fresh piercing" (their words, not mine) in salt water two to four times daily (what's weird about this is they also tell you not to go in the ocean, which...I don't even need to explain the irony). So I had this mini ziplock o' salt in my purse, and I was at the bank digging through my purse for my wallet and the bag fell out. The guy next to me gave me the weirdest look, and goes "Duuuude, is that coke?" So effing weird. "Duuuude, if you are confusing salt and cocaine, then you probably don't need anymore." Should have sold it to him, made bank.
Go here.... http://s8.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1ZKBFAH40RX061WYP7NR9BYC1G and get that song. The new And Sometimes Why release, and it's pretty kick ass. (I renamed it, kp...muaha)
I miss the days when school involved Crayola markers. I have so much shit to do. I'm done.