(no subject)
Wow, I've been really depressed lately, I just miss being happy. I cant ever be alone at home any more. Sometimes at night I cant stop crying because I want to just bleed, I think I'm dead, just walking around and no one can even see me. Like I'm not really here, and no one noticed I walked away from the world. No one ever noticed me slip away and I've left. I wish I could get back, back to smiling at school and laughing. Sometimes I smile, just to make u all believe I'm here again, that I'm back to normal. I never wanted to hurt everyone, dissapearing was the best. I dont think I'll be home like at all over the summer. I dont really have any friends in Grand Rapids any more, and I dont see a point in staying. I'm going to be up in Farewell most of the summer, up at my cabin. Away from everything, the only reason I like it there is cause no one can ever reach me. If I even have a cell phone when I go, it will be off like all day....damn I dont think anyone even reads this shit anymore, no ones posted in like 2 weeks on my stuff....fuck it atleast I say all this shit. I wish I had someone to tell me it was all ok again...wow, I cant believe how much I miss it. I heard Jason has a new girlfriend, yeah...I dont know what else to say to that. Hes not mine anymore, he never really was. I knew he hated being with me, I was just a bitch to him. My ring with a heart on it looks like a skull. One month now, thats so long its horible. Well, I dont know what else to say so i'm out...bye no one.