I AM.
I had a brief conversation with someone at work today. I told him about the developments on the grad school front, particularly with The Prof. He was, as always, very supportive. In addition to that regard, I took something very important from that conversation. He said--and I'll paraphrase because I don't remember the exact adjectives he used: if you have one person in your corner, it's fabulous. If you have two, you're lucky. If you have three, it's a miracle.
I understand what he means. Particularly in one's professional or academic life sources of true support are hard to come by. These are competitive, political environments in which you have to be on your guard for backstabbers, prejudiced individuals, toxic personalities, and those who, for whatever reason, are wholly unconcerned with that which affects your life. If you find yourself with at least one person who believes in you or is a source for mentoring and/or inspiration you should make a genuine effort to maintain such a connection.
Still, whether or not he meant professionally or personally, I immediately considered the Big Picture. Without having to consider it, I know without a doubt that I have more than three people in my corner. My family on both sides are unending sources of love and care. My friends are not acquaintances, and they have in both word and deed sustained me through both joyful and hard times. My interactions with both relations and my extended family have influenced me greatly, and I feel that I am better for having known them. I can only hope that I have brought something remotely similar to their lives.
This reality particularly comes to mind when I read or hear stories about people who die alone or outlive all of their loved ones. I think about it when encountering the reality that many in our world do not have a voice. My good fortune is ever apparent when I think about those who are victims of their own mental instability or a loved one's abuse. I can't help but wonder in amazement when I see someone undermine their own connections through their own neglect, callousness or immaturity. I feel grateful about my enormous family when people fail to realize and/or fail to address the mistakes, the transgressions, committed against the important people in their lives. Indeed, to be the recipient of this energy immediately inspires humility; the knowledge that I could have been so unlucky as to be without them is unassailable.
In the darkening of the day, I came to a realization that was just as profound. As humble as I am about the people in my life, I owe it to myself to acknowledge that I deserve them. I speak not from a misplaced sense of entitlement, but rather in recognition of myself as a vital, intelligent, social human being. I endeavor to be part of this world and contribute to it in the way that only I can, the way that is uniquely me because there is no one like me. I am one of many, a set of statistics. Yet to the people I encounter, I have the opportunity to be more than a demographic or a poll percentage.
I deserve...
- respect.
- to be listened to.
- the chance to listen.
- to receive constructive criticism.
- to understand.
- to be loved.
- to love myself.
- knowledge.
- to teach.
I deserve...
- to live in a world in which children are protected, yet given room to grow; made to feel special, yet are taught to see the magic in others; allowed to learn of their limitations, yet are encouraged to overcome them.
I deserve...
- the opportunity to contribute to society.
- equal opportunity. The rest is up to me.
- the chance to give back to my community.
- friendship with honesty, not blind allegiance.
- an equitable justice system.
- the chance to make my own mistakes.
- the chance to learn from my mistakes.
I deserve...
- the right to vote.
- great sex.
- to be able to give pleasure.
- to be able to question ignorance, injustice, and incompetence.
- viable and affordable shelter.
- food.
- affordable health care.
- peace.
- mental stability.
I deserve...
- to be able to find humor in the world.
- those moments in which I can laugh at myself.
- to lead.
- leaders I can follow.
- a country worthy of my allegiance.
- to live without fear.
- the opportunity to receive a quality education.
- my degrees.
- the chance to aid those who desire my help.
- to be able to trust.
- to be trusted.
- space to grieve my losses.
I deserve...
- a society in which rape is not ignored, abuse is not tolerated, and no one is punished for refusing to remain a "victim".
I deserve...
- no rights that my fellow citizens are denied for being gay.
I deserve...
- true praise for my accomplishments, not backhanded compliments.
- control over my body and mind.
- dominion over no one.
- for my faults to be brought to my attention.
- the fortitude to question my own beliefs, acknowledge my weaknesses, and take pride in my strengths.
- my fantasies.
- my creative and intelligent mind.
- to not be good at everything, yet strive to be the best I can be.
I deserve...
- the opportunity to buy my forty acres and blaze a new path over my trail of tears.
I deserve...
- to reap the consequences of my actions or inaction.
I deserve...
- to know the roots from which my tree has sprung.
I deserve...
- to be happy.
- to be free.
- to be strong.
I deserve...
- to feel.
- to fuck.
- to laugh.
- to learn.
- to live.
- to be.
I am mightyafrodite, and anyone who says otherwise can back the fuck out of my sunshine.
I deserve all of these things unless I prove unworthy of them. What's so beautiful about all of this is, each and every one of you deserve the same. If you have a village that takes care of you, return the favor. Every single person stands on the shoulders of those who came before them, but it's easy to fall if you have no one next to you. Acknowledge, to yourself at least, who you are. Remember that no matter how much you think the world owes you, it is nothing compared to what you owe yourself.
I understand what he means. Particularly in one's professional or academic life sources of true support are hard to come by. These are competitive, political environments in which you have to be on your guard for backstabbers, prejudiced individuals, toxic personalities, and those who, for whatever reason, are wholly unconcerned with that which affects your life. If you find yourself with at least one person who believes in you or is a source for mentoring and/or inspiration you should make a genuine effort to maintain such a connection.
Still, whether or not he meant professionally or personally, I immediately considered the Big Picture. Without having to consider it, I know without a doubt that I have more than three people in my corner. My family on both sides are unending sources of love and care. My friends are not acquaintances, and they have in both word and deed sustained me through both joyful and hard times. My interactions with both relations and my extended family have influenced me greatly, and I feel that I am better for having known them. I can only hope that I have brought something remotely similar to their lives.
This reality particularly comes to mind when I read or hear stories about people who die alone or outlive all of their loved ones. I think about it when encountering the reality that many in our world do not have a voice. My good fortune is ever apparent when I think about those who are victims of their own mental instability or a loved one's abuse. I can't help but wonder in amazement when I see someone undermine their own connections through their own neglect, callousness or immaturity. I feel grateful about my enormous family when people fail to realize and/or fail to address the mistakes, the transgressions, committed against the important people in their lives. Indeed, to be the recipient of this energy immediately inspires humility; the knowledge that I could have been so unlucky as to be without them is unassailable.
In the darkening of the day, I came to a realization that was just as profound. As humble as I am about the people in my life, I owe it to myself to acknowledge that I deserve them. I speak not from a misplaced sense of entitlement, but rather in recognition of myself as a vital, intelligent, social human being. I endeavor to be part of this world and contribute to it in the way that only I can, the way that is uniquely me because there is no one like me. I am one of many, a set of statistics. Yet to the people I encounter, I have the opportunity to be more than a demographic or a poll percentage.
I deserve...
- respect.
- to be listened to.
- the chance to listen.
- to receive constructive criticism.
- to understand.
- to be loved.
- to love myself.
- knowledge.
- to teach.
I deserve...
- to live in a world in which children are protected, yet given room to grow; made to feel special, yet are taught to see the magic in others; allowed to learn of their limitations, yet are encouraged to overcome them.
I deserve...
- the opportunity to contribute to society.
- equal opportunity. The rest is up to me.
- the chance to give back to my community.
- friendship with honesty, not blind allegiance.
- an equitable justice system.
- the chance to make my own mistakes.
- the chance to learn from my mistakes.
I deserve...
- the right to vote.
- great sex.
- to be able to give pleasure.
- to be able to question ignorance, injustice, and incompetence.
- viable and affordable shelter.
- food.
- affordable health care.
- peace.
- mental stability.
I deserve...
- to be able to find humor in the world.
- those moments in which I can laugh at myself.
- to lead.
- leaders I can follow.
- a country worthy of my allegiance.
- to live without fear.
- the opportunity to receive a quality education.
- my degrees.
- the chance to aid those who desire my help.
- to be able to trust.
- to be trusted.
- space to grieve my losses.
I deserve...
- a society in which rape is not ignored, abuse is not tolerated, and no one is punished for refusing to remain a "victim".
I deserve...
- no rights that my fellow citizens are denied for being gay.
I deserve...
- true praise for my accomplishments, not backhanded compliments.
- control over my body and mind.
- dominion over no one.
- for my faults to be brought to my attention.
- the fortitude to question my own beliefs, acknowledge my weaknesses, and take pride in my strengths.
- my fantasies.
- my creative and intelligent mind.
- to not be good at everything, yet strive to be the best I can be.
I deserve...
- the opportunity to buy my forty acres and blaze a new path over my trail of tears.
I deserve...
- to reap the consequences of my actions or inaction.
I deserve...
- to know the roots from which my tree has sprung.
I deserve...
- to be happy.
- to be free.
- to be strong.
I deserve...
- to feel.
- to fuck.
- to laugh.
- to learn.
- to live.
- to be.
I am mightyafrodite, and anyone who says otherwise can back the fuck out of my sunshine.
I deserve all of these things unless I prove unworthy of them. What's so beautiful about all of this is, each and every one of you deserve the same. If you have a village that takes care of you, return the favor. Every single person stands on the shoulders of those who came before them, but it's easy to fall if you have no one next to you. Acknowledge, to yourself at least, who you are. Remember that no matter how much you think the world owes you, it is nothing compared to what you owe yourself.