"Where's Our Sylvia?"
BE asked that very questions last night. It was in response to my sudden constant effort to be busy and get things done. On Saturday I vacuumed the entire main floor, including behind couches and in the first floor office. On Monday I hit the entire basement. I'm going to try to get the top floor finished tonight. I've done my laundry, taken out the dogs for walks several times and have been able to spend uninterrupted periods of time actually organizing my bedroom and cleaning up, including putting up clean laundry that had been piling up in my closet and on my papa san.
Over the last couple of years, it's become more and more apparent, my lack of organization. I open up a can of soda and find out soon after that it's flat. What didn't register was the period of time that had passed between me opening the can and trying to finish it, especially if I'd forgotten it because I was distracted and opened another soda. Both at work and at home, the process of getting things accomplished, the tiny details the most people on unconsciously process, were distractions, and I'd spend unnecessary time trying to come up with processes for simple aspects of a project, or a system of organization. It would be too jumbled in my head to be constructive.
I'm one for juggling multiple topics in my head without a problem. What was an issue was the constant shifting without warning, the lack of segueing from one issue to another at logical points, or it being disjointed and unorganized. I'd start a project, like organizing papers to file or work on a lecture, and couldn't sit for a concentrated time and get to work on it. I'd been much better about that in the past, but these days, it's impossible.
I'd easily misplace things, forget who borrowed what, not being able to find certain items if I got too panicked. Forgetting a task I was about to do because I got distracted was also annoying, as is losing track of time.
I've been sluggish lately, more so than usual, getting more and more sedentary, isolating myself.
Part of this of course is the depression. It does make all of those things happen to a degree. It's entirely possible that this is the only thing that is the problem, and SAD makes it worse.
Go back then, to BE's questions and what prompted it. It was in jest, but the inspiration for his question is indeed a recent development, even though I have been doing my share, it would occasionally fall off, or it wasn't as concentrated or consistent.
That is, until I started taking Adderall.
I'm not sure that I necessarily have ADD. However, I can say that both I and the people that interact with me the most can see the difference. It's possible that this is simply a SAD issue, a worsening of symptoms due to the lack of sunlight. But I do know that that's not the entire issue, if I'm honest and look over my life. At the very least, it will boost the effectiveness of the antidepressant, which on its own assists in regulating my mood and help me to have a full range of emotions, as well as fighting the physical aspects of depression (appetite, sleep, etc.) At best, it will, as it has already done, allow me to focus better, which then allows me to sty organized. I'm not sluggish, and I'm able to work longer without getting easily distracted or simply "tired" or working.
I really don't want to take two medications without insurance, and I hope that it's simply SAD instead. Of course, I also see the signs and wonder if it's ADD and Depression. In the end, I'm simply pleased that, so far, everything seems to be chugging along much better. I don't feel rushed, as if I'm on a speed kick, which is even better.
Over the last couple of years, it's become more and more apparent, my lack of organization. I open up a can of soda and find out soon after that it's flat. What didn't register was the period of time that had passed between me opening the can and trying to finish it, especially if I'd forgotten it because I was distracted and opened another soda. Both at work and at home, the process of getting things accomplished, the tiny details the most people on unconsciously process, were distractions, and I'd spend unnecessary time trying to come up with processes for simple aspects of a project, or a system of organization. It would be too jumbled in my head to be constructive.
I'm one for juggling multiple topics in my head without a problem. What was an issue was the constant shifting without warning, the lack of segueing from one issue to another at logical points, or it being disjointed and unorganized. I'd start a project, like organizing papers to file or work on a lecture, and couldn't sit for a concentrated time and get to work on it. I'd been much better about that in the past, but these days, it's impossible.
I'd easily misplace things, forget who borrowed what, not being able to find certain items if I got too panicked. Forgetting a task I was about to do because I got distracted was also annoying, as is losing track of time.
I've been sluggish lately, more so than usual, getting more and more sedentary, isolating myself.
Part of this of course is the depression. It does make all of those things happen to a degree. It's entirely possible that this is the only thing that is the problem, and SAD makes it worse.
Go back then, to BE's questions and what prompted it. It was in jest, but the inspiration for his question is indeed a recent development, even though I have been doing my share, it would occasionally fall off, or it wasn't as concentrated or consistent.
That is, until I started taking Adderall.
I'm not sure that I necessarily have ADD. However, I can say that both I and the people that interact with me the most can see the difference. It's possible that this is simply a SAD issue, a worsening of symptoms due to the lack of sunlight. But I do know that that's not the entire issue, if I'm honest and look over my life. At the very least, it will boost the effectiveness of the antidepressant, which on its own assists in regulating my mood and help me to have a full range of emotions, as well as fighting the physical aspects of depression (appetite, sleep, etc.) At best, it will, as it has already done, allow me to focus better, which then allows me to sty organized. I'm not sluggish, and I'm able to work longer without getting easily distracted or simply "tired" or working.
I really don't want to take two medications without insurance, and I hope that it's simply SAD instead. Of course, I also see the signs and wonder if it's ADD and Depression. In the end, I'm simply pleased that, so far, everything seems to be chugging along much better. I don't feel rushed, as if I'm on a speed kick, which is even better.