What makes potential dates just plain boring?
Mark Leary, P. A. Rogers, R. W. Canfield, and C. Coe (1986) tried to find out what sorts of communication styles are especially dreary. They asked students to list things "that other people do that make them seem boring to you" (p. 969). They found that eight sorts of conversational habits are especially deadly:
1
Passivity.
Dull people aren't really there-they seem to have no opinions of their own, they can't hold up their end of a conversation, or add anything new to a discussion.
2
Tediousness.
Tiresome people have a boring communication style-they may talk veeeeeerrrrry slowly, pausing a long time before responding, ramble, include too many annoying details in their stories, or drag on and on.
3
Distracting behaviors make interaction difficult.
Boring people get sidetracked easily. All their talk is small talk.
4
Low affectivity.
Dull people rarely look others in the eye; their faces are expressionless; their voices monotonous.
5
Boring ingratiation
Tiresome people try too hard to be funny; try too hard to be nice; work too hard to impress other people.
6
Seriousness.
Boring people rarely smile; they are too serious.
7
Self-centeredness
Dull people are preoccupied with themselves, with their pasts, and with their own problems. They are negative and constantly complain.
8
Banality.
People who talk about trivial or superficial things, who are interested in only one topic, or who repeat the same stories and jokes again and again are boring.